Chapter 168 Blue Silk and Ash

Chapter 168 Blue Silk and Ash
Ashlyn

The walk back toward Paul’s cabin is quiet. Paul walks beside me, his stride matches mine without effort. That’s the thing about him. He just does things to suit me, to be in my orbit, but he doesn't push about it. He's just politely obsessed with making me happy. My chest tightens, but not because of him; it's because the contrast is crazy. Paul glances over once, catches the shift in my posture, and slows a fraction without comment. He doesn’t ask what’s wrong or try to touch me. He just gives me room. Vinny never did that. The flashback sends me to a place I don't exactly want to remember...

It tugs at my mind until I’m back standing in a dressing room that smells like perfume and hot irons, and there are hands everywhere. Someone is tugging fabric over my shoulders, smoothing it down my sides, pinching at my waist like they can pluck the squishy parts right off my hips. The dress is blue, a soft, pretty blue that looks lovely on literally anyone who isn’t me. It drains the warmth from my skin, turns my fire into something dull and caged. I remember thinking that even then, standing there while they laced and pinned and fussed, that I looked like someone else’s idea of a girl. My hair is curled, pulled and sprayed until it doesn’t move when I shake my head. They slather my face with makeup and press powder beneath my eyes, instructing me to blink less.
“Hold still,” a voice snaps.
I don’t remember who it belonged to. None of them really mattered. The entire day had been planned down to the minute. When I would wake. When I would eat. When I would be dressed. When I would smile. When I would walk. When I would stand beside the prince like a prize already claimed. No one asked if I wanted any of it. Not once. Prince Vinny had swept in halfway through the preparations, already dressed, already smug, already convinced the world existed just for him. He leaned against the doorway, as if he owned the room, crown gleaming, smile sharp and satisfied.
“There you are,” he said, eyes raking over me without shame. “Took them long enough.”
I remember meeting his gaze in the mirror and the way my stomach dropped as his eyes lingered too long. He had already imagined me placed somewhere decorative and silent in his castle.
“You look beautiful,” he added, but it wasn’t a compliment. It was a verdict. I didn’t say thank you. I didn’t say anything at all, and he didn’t notice.

The ball itself was worse. The castle was filled with light and music and laughter that never reached me. Chandeliers blazed overhead. Silk and jewels were everywhere I looked. Nobles lined the walls in careful clusters, all eyes sharp and curious, measuring me the second I stepped into the room. Vinny’s hand closed around my arm the moment I entered.
“Smile,” he murmured out of the corner of his mouth. “They need to like you.”
Like me. As if that had ever been the point. I did smile. I learned early when to bare my teeth and when to bite. The music swelled. The dancers moved. Servants passed with trays of food and wine, and I took a plate because I was starving and no one had thought to ask if I’d eaten. I filled that fucking plate with all the food my belly wanted, and Vinny noticed immediately.
He leaned in close, voice low, smile still fixed in place for the crowd. “Do you really think you should be eating all of that?”
The words were quiet, but the intention wasn’t. I looked down at the plate. Then up at him. His eyes flicked over me, critical and amused, already calculating how to correct me later. How to train me. Something in me cracked in that moment.

I remember when my fire answered. The heat under my skin flared sharp and angry, licking up my spine like it had been waiting for permission. I set the plate down carefully. Then I picked it up again and hurled it at the far wall. The sound was spectacular. Porcelain shattered, food splattered, music screeched to a halt and gasps ripped through the room as everyone took note of my rage. Vinny’s smile vanished.
“Ashlyn,” he hissed, fury flashing in his eyes. “Have you lost your mind?”
“Yes,” I said calmly, fire already spilling out of me and crawling up my arms. “And you’re about to lose your castle.”
I don’t remember everything after that in perfect order, just flashes of flames racing up tapestries. Silk curtains igniting like kindling. Screams as nobles scattered. Guards shouting orders that no one followed properly, and Vinny grabbing my wrist, nails biting into my skin, dragging me toward the stairs.
“You will not embarrass me like this,” he snarled.
I laughed, and the sound startled him enough that I wrenched free, fire exploding outward in a wave that sent him sprawling. I ran then, barefoot, dress tearing, hair coming loose and burning everything I passed out of pure desperation to be free. I’d hated it there. Hated the way everything gleamed while I suffocated. I burned my way out that night. I ran through halls and staircases and secret passages until my lungs screamed and my fire roared wild and uncontained. People fled from me. Guards fell back. I didn’t stop running when I reached the forest; I just kept running.
Through trees, over roots, across frozen ground until my legs nearly gave out and the cold bit through the thin remnants of that stupid blue dress. That’s when I saw a girl standing on a frozen lake, alone, still as death, eyes hollow in a way I recognised instantly. She looked just as wrecked as I felt. Just as lost. Just as ready to shatter. I ran past her at first. Then I stopped and turned around and looked again. Yeah, I’d thought. This one. This one’s going to be my friend.

The memory snaps loose all at once. The forest rushes back in around me. Paul’s cabin stands ahead with smoke curling from the chimney. Paul himself is beside me again, his hand hovering near mine without touching.
“You went quiet. Where'd you go?” he says gently.
I exhale, long and shaky, and glance up at him.
“To a place and time where people weren't as nice as you,” I say.
Paul frowns slightly. “I'm glad you're back with me then.”
I smile, tired and real. “Me too.”
He nods, accepting that without question, and opens the cabin door for me. I burned my way out of one life and walked calmly into another. If that’s not character development, I don’t know what is.