Chapter 9

**Logan**

Megan is right. On Sunday, I went to her home to apologise for my behaviour, but jealousy took over me when I saw her with that guy. Nothing in me prepared me to see her with someone else. I didn’t think she’d stay single. I told myself that the chances of her being single would be slim. Telling myself and preparing myself is a different thing altogether.

My emotions got the better of me on Saturday. I was angry at her and myself. Mad at myself for leaving her, for putting her in a position where she felt she had to work as a stripper to make ends meet. I promised her I’d look after her. I broke all of my promises to her the day I left, and I’ve hated myself ever since.

“You’ve gone too far,” David says.

“I know,” I admit.

“Why did you do it?” he asks softly.

“I saw her with some guy, and I got jealous,” I say quietly.

“You’re engaged. You don’t have the right to be jealous,” he snaps.

“My engagement is a farce,” I snap back.

“She doesn’t know that. You tried to take a little girl from her mother over jealousy,” he walks toward me. “Do you not think she’s been through enough? Jonathan, her grandfather and now you,”

“What did her grandfather do?” I ask, looking at him. He knows more about Megan’s situation than he is letting on. “You knew about Ella,” I state.

“Yes, Carl kept me updated,” he states. “Megan begged us both not to tell you, that she wanted to be the one to tell you about her,”

“I thought she’d had an abortion or a miscarriage,” I say quietly, voicing the fears I’ve had for the past five years.

“We need to go somewhere more private and talk about this. I’ll tell you everything I know,” he says as he looks at his watch.

---

We sit in my study. David had placed a file in front of me the moment we sat down. He poured us both a drink and sat down opposite me. My study is probably the only room in this place I use. I never bring anyone back here; I own an apartment on the upper east side that I use as a bachelor pad. My fiance only knows about that one. Luckily for me, she’s still in England. I can only hope she stays there long enough to forget about this ridiculous engagement. The day I left, I told her that the engagement was off, she took it well until about six months ago, and she’d done an interview saying that we were still together. How anyone could believe her is beyond me.

“What is this?” I ask.

“It’s the file from the PI you hired,” David states.

“So he wasn’t useless?”

“No, I paid him extra to give me everything he found,” he tells me as he opens the file. “In there is everything I know. I knew Megan was in New York, and I knew she worked at a strip club. I had told her to let me tell you what was happening, but she wouldn’t let me. I offered to help her pay for things, but she said she couldn’t let me do that, and she had to do this all herself.

“What was happening?” I ask as I look at the medical records for her.

“Ella is a prem baby. She was born with a hole in her heart and a bleed on the brain. Megan had lost a lot of blood and ended up in a coma. When Megan turned 18, Jonathon’s medical insurance he had for her stopped. Her grandfather has paid for every medical bill for her since then, privately. He didn’t tell her this until Ella was a couple of months old. She’s been paying him back since she moved to LA nearly three years ago now,” David explains.

“Why?” I ask, confused by that.

“I’m not sure; she never told me. That’s something you should ask her,”

“So when she says she’s in debt, she means to Carlton?” I ask.

“I imagine so,” he says. “Read through it. There’s not much there. It’s mostly medical documents, bank statements, Ella’s school report is in there too,”

“School? She’s only 4,” I say.

“She’s a very smart four-year-old,” he states and stands up. “Maybe think about how you’re going to approach her next time. I would think about grovelling. That might be a better start,” he adds as he leaves.

---

All night I looked over the files David gave me. I looked up her grandfather and managed to access her bank records and her grandfathers. Not legal, but how else am I going to see if what is in this file is accurate. From the medical reports, it would seem Ella was very ill during the first few weeks of her life. She had heart surgery, was under ventilation for her breathing and had to have a blood transfusion. Ella is a strong little girl. She gets that from Megan.

I decided to not contact her for a couple of days, out of shame more than anything. I’d accused her of things I knew she would never do because it made me feel better. Megan owes me nothing. If she refused to talk to me, I’d have to respect her decision. It’s what I deserve.

Walking into the park, Yasmin had told me Megan was most likely at the park. I see her running around the park with Max leashed at her hip, and Ella is playing in a jungle gym with other children. I was genuinely surprised when I saw Max. I’m not sure why when they adore each other. The sound of children laughing and screaming fills the air as the sun beats down, warming my body.

Megan has grown into a beautiful woman. I don’t think she even realises just how gorgeous she is. When I left, she was very skinny, even with the small bump she had. She lost even more weight while pregnant due to morning sickness. Now she’s got wider hips giving her an hourglass shape. The black sports leggings and crop top leave little to the imagination, not on purpose. It’s hot out; I’m surprised she’s not in shorts. Her hair is tied up into a large messy bun on the top of her head.

I sit on a bench and watch as she calls Ella over to her. Ella has Megan’s hair colour and curls. They cascade down her back in ringlets as she runs towards Megan with a white backpack. Megan pulls a towel out of the bag and dabs her neck and face with it. I guess this is how she works out most days. She looks around the park before her eyes land on me. The look on her face isn’t a happy one. She knows exactly who I am, even with my dark sunglasses on. I watch her say something to Ella, and they both start walking toward me.

My heartbeat picks up as a sense of nerves settles over me. Is today the day I’ll get to meet her? I hadn’t planned on meeting her today. I wanted to apologise to Megan in person rather than over the phone or through text.

They stop in front of me, and then I see Ella’s eyes light up.

“Grandad David,” she shouts and runs past where I’m sitting straight into David’s arms. I frown and turn to him to see him pick her up and spin her around. Of course, he’s met her before.

“THey’ve only met through video call,” Megan says, answering my unasked question. I watch as he says something to Ella, and Ella nods. She points to the swing set, and David takes her to it. “Why are you here, Logan?” Megan asks me as she folds her arms in front of her body. “Have you come to insult me some more? Take Ella away from me personally or just creepily watch me?” she asks. I sigh. I deserve that.

“I came to apologise,” I state. She unhooks Max from her hip, and he runs towards me and jumps up, licking at my face. She sits down on the bench next to me and watches David with Ella.

“Ella means the world to me. Everything I do is for her,”

“I know,”

“If you want to fight me for her, Logan. Then you might as well kill me because I’ll die before I give up on her,” she says.

“No, I don’t. I don’t want to fight. I honestly came here to apologise. What I said, what I accused you of, was wrong of me. You were right. I was angry and jealous,” I explain. “Please give me another chance. I want to meet Ella and be her dad. I’m sorry for everything I said and for calling the CPS. I am,” I beg.

“This can’t happen again, you’re engaged, and I’ve moved on. For this to work, it has to be platonic,” she tells me. I nod in agreement. I don’t see the point in correcting her. She’ll see it as me trying to manipulate her. “Monday, I have some free time. We can go for a coffee and talk properly,” she says, and I’m shocked she’s even giving me a chance. “We’ll take it from there,” she stands, and I can’t help but check her out. I notice the tattoo on her shoulder peeking out through the straps of her sports bra and crop top and a violin on her forearm disguising one of her scars. I wonder if she has anymore.

“Ella,” she calls as she clips Max’s lead back onto her hip. “We have to go,” she tells her as Ella looks towards us from the swings.

“Aww can’t I stay?” she asks. “Grandad David will look after me,”

“No, he’s busy, and you have a music lesson,” she tells her.

“What does she play?” I ask.

“She’s deciding, she told me last year she wanted to play the piano like me, but her music teacher said she should try other instruments too. I’m just hoping she doesn’t pick the drums,” she says with a small smile.

“Ok, fine,” Ella huffs and turns to David to hug him. I smile a little. She’s a happy little girl, and I could have destroyed that if I’d pushed forward with the CPS report.

Ella runs up towards us and wraps her arms around Megan’s leg. She looks up at me and glares at me. I take it she remembers me from last week.

“We need to go, I’ll text you a time tomorrow,” Megan says as she moves her hand in Ella’s hair and then walks away with her.

“That went well,” David states. “Did you grovel like I told you to?” he asks. I turn away from watching Megan walk away. I don’t miss her glancing back at me before she turns out of sight. “I didn’t see you on your knees. I think that constitutes grovelling,”

“I apologised to her for saying what I said. I told her she was right,”

“That’s a start. Women love hearing they’re right,” he tells me as we walk back to the car.

“She said we could meet on Monday,” I state. “I have a meeting with Elena tonight,” I say to him once in the car.

“You’re still going to buy into the club?” he asks.

“Yeah,”

“And Megan working there isn’t the reason?”

“It is the reason, I’m not going to lie, but it seems like a good investment, and I’m not exactly opposed to some of her ideas,” I explain.

“I’m not going to ask,” He says as he starts the car.

“A sex club isn’t exactly a bad idea,”

“Yet you’re opposed to Megan working there, especially when she’s one of the best dancers there,”

“How’d you know that?” I ask.

“It’s on their website, her and Courtney. Yasmin, by the look of things, is new to dancing. I looked at their Instagram, and they make a lot of money from that,”

“You stalked their Instagram. Wait, Megan doesn’t have any social media,” I state.

“No, but Aphrodite does. She posts on that nearly every day, more when she’s working,” I frown and take my phone out of my pocket as he drives me back to my offices.

Opening Instagram, I go straight to the search bar, look for Aphrodite, and millions pop up. I sigh and search for The Masked Goddess. I go through each one that comes up until I find the one I’m wanting. The first picture I see is one of Aphrodite. Megan is doing the splits in nothing but white short shorts and a gold eye mask that moulds up into horns, golden orange hair cascades in waves down her back. She holds it all up with her arms and is looking at the camera over her shoulder. At the bottom of the image is her Instagram handle and a caption.

‘See @Aphrodite_TMG tonight only in the Olympia room.

The post was only a couple of hours ago. I notice as well that her tattoos are photoshopped out of the picture.

“Have you found her yet?” David asks. I look up from my phone at him. “Lorraine is obsessed. She told me she wants to go to pole dancing lessons if it can give her a body like that,” he pauses, “I’m obviously not going to stop her,” he says with a chuckle.

“Your wife is crazy,”

“Yep,”

“Megan’s working tonight,” I say and tap on her profile.

“Lucky you, you get to see her,” he says with a small chuckle.

---

Lucky me was the overstatement of the century. Carl and I got here when Elena told us to, but she had an emergency and asked us if we could wait. David ended up coming inside with us. He told me he wanted to make sure I don’t do anything stupid like I did the last time I was here.

“Oh, I like this song,” Carl says. I give Carl the side-eye. “There’s some whores in this house,” he sings.

“Why are you here again?” I ask.

“Because I’m your partner, and you love me, plus you didn’t want to come here on your own,” Carl states. I turn my attention away from him to the stage as five girls walk out onto the stage. I notice Aphrodite straight away.

“Enjoying the show, Gentleman?” Elena asks. I look at her as she sits down. She’s dressed in a similar dress to what she wore when I first met her.

“Yes,” Carl says as he watches the dance routine. “If Megan thee Stallion walks onto the stage right now, I’ll faint,” he adds.

“I’m sorry to be a disappointment,” Elena says with a slight chuckle and then looks at me. “I have heard you’ve been giving one of my girls a hard time,” she states. “Aphrodite is one of my best dancers. If her working here will be a problem, we can stop all discussion now,” she says to me.

“It is no problem,” I state and watch as she dances around one of the poles.

“I want to dance with them,” Carl says.

“I’ll buy you a pole if you focus,” I snap at him and Elena chuckles. “What was the emergency?” I ask her.

“One of the dancers had a personal problem. I had to call Aphrodite in. She was the only free dancer tonight, her and Persephone. I think they flipped for which one of them was coming in,”

“Is Athena working?” Carl asks.

“Yes, she’s in the green with the blonde hair,” she says and opens the file in front of her. “Shall we get started,”

----

The meeting went quite well; the contracts got signed, which resulted in Madam Hera celebrating. She asked all the dancers to stay after work to celebrate the new chapter in the business. I’d noticed Megan wasn’t there, and neither was Yasmin, to Carl's disappointment. He hid his feelings well and decided to ask one of the girls to teach him the routine from earlier. David made a joke that he thinks Carl’s dream is to be an exotic dancer. From watching him, I think that might be true.

All weekend I’ve been looking forward to today. Megan texted me Saturday morning, telling me to meet her at 1pm at a coffee place not far from where she lives. I couldn’t help texting her back a couple of times. Mostly mundane things like asking her what she had planned for the day. She told me it was her weekend off, and she didn’t have much excitement planned. That she needed to take Ella clothes shopping, when she asked me what I had planned, I couldn’t help but smile to myself. If she asked, that must mean she’s interested in my life, right? Carl said she was probably just being polite, but the fact she asked follow-up questions made me rethink that.

I’m sitting in an overstuffed leather chair waiting for her. I’ll admit it; I got here really early. David and Lorraine decided to tag along. Mostly so I don’t say or do something stupid. Lorraine hasn’t spoken to me since David told her what I’d done, I’ve never had her look at me with such disappointment, she didn’t even look at me with such disgust when I got engaged. They’ve sat a table away.

My phone chimes letting me know I have a message from Mega. I’d personalised her contact last night so that I’d always know when it was her texting or ringing.

*‘I’m running a little late. I got held up. I’ll be 5 minutes*’

*“Ok, I just got here,*’ I reply.

Yes, I’m lying, but what’s a white lie. Megan doesn’t need to know I got here 30 minutes early or that it took me over an hour to get ready.

This has got to be the longest five minutes in history. I’ve not stopped looking at my watch or the clock on the wall. Why am I so nervous? It is just a chat, with the mother of my child, the one I left while pregnant and the woman I love. It’s not a big deal.

Who am I kidding? It is a big deal.

Megan could choose not to talk to me ever again. She could stop me from meeting Ella. In her eyes, I might not be good enough.

“Sorry, I’m late,” I hear Megan say. Damn, I’d been watching the door, and I look away for two seconds, get into my own head, and I miss seeing her before she sees me. I watch her place a couple of bags down by the chair opposite me. “I’ll just get myself a drink,” she says and walks away. I think I’ve lost the ability to speak. I just nod at her as I take in her appearance.

Megan is beautiful. Her light chocolate hair is down in waves to her waist. She’s wearing a simple coral-coloured dress that stops just above her knee, a cropped denim jacket and a pair of wedges. I think I’m staring too much, but I can’t help it. The dress clings to her body in all the right places.

My phone beeps again, only this time with the usual beep. I look to see a text from David.

*‘Stop staring,’*

I frown and turn to look at him to see him smirking at me. I give him the finger and look back at my phone as another text comes through.

*‘Got you to stop staring,’ *

I sigh and go to text him back, but Megan sits down in the seat opposite.

“Sorry, ok, hi,” she says with a small smile as she puts her phone on silent.

“It’s ok, and Hi,” I say back and feel my nerves creep back in.