Chapter 14

Noah wasn’t a big fan of college football. He had gone to a few Dallas Cowboy games over the years, but it was more of a networking thing than a love of football. It had just occurred to him that now that he was going to be relying on referrals for business, he was probably going to have to start doing a lot more of this. The idea did not exactly thrill him.

He’d brought Savannah to the game, hoping to awaken more memories of their time together for her.

Noah didn’t need any awakenings. He had very vivid memories of their time together and wanted to pick up where they left off Savannah, however, was going to take a bit more convincing.

He had to tell her what had happened with Claire. Talk more about why he had left her so abruptly.

She was being so forgiving. He hated to bring up something that might awaken old wounds. How had it been for her? Her mother had said Savannah had waited for him. Noah felt like such a cad for the way he had treated her. She’d done absolutely nothing wrong

She’d been perfect.

If she’d left him that way, he wasn’t so sure he would have been all that forgiving. Would he have welcomed her back so easily? Somehow he didn’t really know.

It must have been hard for her to bring up the topic of his ex-wife. Soon to be ex-wife.

He suddenly regretted bringing her here. They should be sitting somewhere with him explaining everything to her.

But she seemed to be having such a good time. Perhaps the memories of their time as college students – back when Noah had insisted they go to all the football games, were good for her. Heck, she’d built a house on the lake where they had spent so much time.

Perhaps the memories weren’t painful for her like they were for him. He should really try and find out how she did it.

He returned her smile. Squeezed her hand.

He’d brought her here. He needed to get himself together. Later, after the game, at dinner, they could talk.

Then she could decide if she wanted to continue to see him. It was only fair that he give her the straight story before he spent the night at her house.

Before they got in too deep again.

Something told him, however, that it was a little late to be worried about being fair to Savannah. He’d crossed that bridge long ago.

He watched Savannah more than he watched the game. He was fascinated by her approachability. His soon to be ex-wife had also been beautiful, but in more of an ice princess kind of way.

Over the course of the game, Savannah had conversations with the woman in front of them, the guy sitting to her left, and the elderly gentleman sitting behind them. She had a way with people that he found spellbinding.

Noah was ready for the game to end. He wanted to talk to her. To clarify some things. And, he had to admit, he wanted her alone.

By the time they finally got to the restaurant, Noah was beginning to think he’d missed his opportunity to talk to her.

There was a line, of course, at the restaurant, so they waited for their table in the crowded bar. They managed to snag two bar stools and Noah ordered her a cosmopolitan and a crown on the rocks for him.

They could barely hear each other with all the noise from people around them.

“Are you ok?” she asked, leaning close to his ear.

“I’m ok,” he said.

“You seem a little edgy today.”

“I wanted to talk to you about some things, but there hasn’t been a chance.”

She lowered her eyelashes and sipped her drink. She remained quiet while they waited for their table.

Thirty minutes later, they followed the hostess to a much quieter table in the back of the restaurant.

“Will you drink some champagne with me?” he asked.

“Sure,” she said. “We’re celebrating your new job.”

He nodded. Savannah should have become a psychologist.

He told her so.

She laughed. “No thank you. I think I’ve had enough school.”

“You’re not too old,” he said.

“I couldn’t afford to be a student. I have a house note, a car lease. You know, all the usual things.”

The idea had wound itself into his head, though, and he couldn’t shake it. “But if you didn’t have all those things, you think it would be something you would consider?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.” She broke a piece of bread, dabbed some butter on it, and chewed slowly.

He decided to let it go for now. But he would come back to it later. “What are you in the mood for?” he asked.

“The blackened salmon with hollandaise.”

“That sounds good. I was looking at that too.”

The server came back and he ordered a shrimp cocktail along with their entrees.

Alone at last.

He took her hand, laced his finger through hers.

“Something’s been bothering you today,” she said.

“See,” he pointed out. “psychologist.”

She shook her head. Looked the other way. “No. I just know you.”

“That’s sort of what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Ok,” she said, turning back, her green eyes meeting his.

Noah swallowed the lump in his throat. He didn’t want to mess up what they had now while dealing with the past. But he didn’t want the past to tarnish what they had now.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“For what?”

“I’m sorry for leaving you without an explanation.”

“Noah,” she said, her voice full of compassion.

“No. Let me say it. I was a jerk. We had it all and I just walked away.”

“You had a good reason.”

“No. I didn’t have a good reason. I had my father. But in the end, I’m the one who did it.”

“Your father pressured you.”

“He threatened to cut me off from my inheritance.”

Her fingers grew still. Pressed against his. “How significant was that?”

“Not worth leaving you.”

“Noah,” she said, searching his eyes. “What was the significance of you losing your inheritance?”

“It was a lot,” he said. She narrowed her eyes. “But I didn’t take any of it. At least not until after he died.”

“Why? Why didn’t you take it Noah? After giving up your life, why didn’t you take it?”

He lowered his gaze. Felt her nail pressing into his hand now. “I didn’t do it for me.”

She released his hand. Sat back. Even out of the corner of his eyes, he could see the hurt.

“I did it for my mother.” There. He’d never told anyone that before. He couldn’t face the thought that his father might actually have left his mother destitute.

“I don’t understand,” she said, leaning forward again.

Noah took a deep breath and looked up. “My father threatened my inheritance, but I told him I didn’t care. I told him I was going to marry you and take a job with the airlines.”

Her eyes were moist now. “You did take a job with the airlines.”

“I did. But I married that girl – the daughter of a business associate that allowed their companies to merge and somehow make my father richer. As a result, my father dropped the threat to leave my mother destitute.”

“Would that even be legal?”

“I don’t know. I didn’t check it out. You met my father, but you didn’t see that side of him. That side that got whatever he wanted.”

He swallowed the rest of his drink. “After I got back from the honeymoon, I told my father to go to hell. I wanted nothing to do with his company or his money. And I didn’t. I went to work for the airlines and lived off my own money.” He scoffed. “That wasn’t good enough for Claire. She took money from her father and made sure we lived up to par. She was never happy.”

Savannah sat back. Her drink forgotten, melting. “You think your father would have done that to your mother?”

“No, I don’t think so now. But at the time, I didn’t know. At the time, I believed him when he threatened to. I don’t know. I guess I thought he would leave her.”

“That’s awful.”

“It was pretty bad. I wasn’t going to do it until he pulled her into it. Then I was too ashamed to tell you. I couldn’t look at you and break your heart.”

Tears slipped down her cheeks. She wiped them away. “I guess if you don’t see it, it isn’t real,” she said, with a watery laugh.

“I guess so. I was young. And dumb.”

“It was a long time ago, Noah,” she said.

“It feels like yesterday. And yet forever ago.”

She nodded. “I know what you mean.”

Their entrees arrived and both of them picked at their food.

“Did you love her?” she asked.

Noah scoffed. “How could I?”

“You stayed with her for almost twenty years. You must have felt something for her.”

“The agreement was that we stay married for eight years. But ultimately it was for the child. Danielle. I stayed for my daughter. I knew that if I left, they would find a way to keep her from me.”

“I’m so sorry, Noah.”

“I was ashamed to tell you. Even now. I’m not proud of how it all went down.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“I never should have left you.”

“You didn’t have a choice.”

Noah pushed his plate aside. This had been a bad idea. He never should have told her about his family. He should have let the past die with the passage of time.

All he’d wanted to do was to start over with Savannah.

To begin again.

But here she was, trying to comfort him for doing the thing that had caused her so much pain.

He froze at the thought that occurred to him.

Perhaps he had been the one in pain. Much more than she was. Savannah was a resilient person. Maybe she had just moved on.

“What about you?” he asked. “What must you have thought of me?”

“I didn’t know what to think.”

“But you had to wonder. I mean, at what point did you figure out I wasn’t coming back?”

Did he have the right to ask these questions? He didn’t know.

He probably didn’t even deserve to have her sitting here with him now.

But she was.

“I don’t know,” she said. “I looked for you, but I didn’t know how to find you. That was before everything and everybody was on the Internet. You might be fortunate in that.”

He barely breathed as she talked.

“I didn’t date anyone. Not until I’d graduated and gone to work. I put everything into my studies. I don’t think I ever really gave up on you.”

“There was no one serious for you?”

“Oh sure. I was with one guy for five years. I guess he was the most serious relationship I had.”

“You never got married.”

“It never worked out for me.”

“That’s my fault,” he said.

“Don’t be crazy. I just spent all my time working. I didn’t have time for anyone hanging around all the time.”

He suspected there was more, but he didn’t push her on it. Not now. Maybe not ever.

He’d done enough damage.

Was it possible for them to start over and build on the embers of what had been before?

When Savannah spoke, it was as though she’d gotten into his thoughts. “Noah, we’re the same people we were twenty years ago, but time has passed. Experience has changed us, molded us into two different people. I think we have a good foundation that we can build on if we want to. But for all intents and purposes, we have to let the past go. If we’re going to move forward, we both have to let it go. Thank you for sharing yours with me. It helps me to understand what happened. I needed to know. I needed to know that it wasn’t just some careless thing that you did. But now is now.”

“You’re a wise woman, Savannah Richards.”

“I’m not wise. I’ve just had a lot of time to think about this.”

“I guess that’s what I wanted you to know. I wanted to let you know that I didn’t want to leave you. I needed to know if you could forgive me.”

“I forgave you a long time ago.”

He smiled. “Thank you.”

He took her hand, kissed her palm. “Here’s to tomorrow,” he said.

As she brewed decaf coffee, Savannah poured a touch of amaretto into two mugs. Her hand shook a little as she poured. She and Noah had been close in college. Both emotionally and physically.

She had been young and he hadn’t pressured her beyond the normal fooling around, usually with her roommate on the other side of the room. Fortunately for them, the roommate snored loudly enough that they knew when she was asleep and when she was awake.

Now that they were adults, at what point would Noah expect more? Their relationship – their current relationship, was evolving. She felt it in the way he kissed her.

She didn’t know why she was nervous.

Perhaps she felt there was more at stake now.

They were no longer just a couple of college kids fooling around.

No, she mused, they were undefined.

And undefined meant no strings.

Savannah had tried the whole no strings thing. It hadn’t worked for her.

She didn’t know why she was so nervous. It’s just Noah.

Noah, whom she trusted.

Noah, whom she loved.

Noah, who had a propensity to walk out of her life with no explanation.

Going back into the living area, she handed one mug to Noah and kept one for herself.

“Spicy,” he said, with a wink after tasting her concoction.

“Amaretto is good for digestion, right?” she said.

“That’s what my grandfather always said.”

She sat next to him, their thighs touching. Was everything he ever told her engraved upon her memories from so long ago?

She shook her head.

She had been young and impressionable.

“What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?” he asked.

She chuckled.

“A whole lot of nothing important.”

“Huh. A whole of something. Always.”

“Maybe. Just enjoying the moment.”

He glanced at her quizzically.

“That’s not your enjoying the moment expression.”

She laughed. Set her mug down. “Maybe I just need a little distraction,” she said, as she wrapped her arms around him.

He set his mug down next to hers. “I’m nothing, if not good at distraction.”

He kissed the corner of her mouth first, sending her nerve endings into electric shock. The pressed his lips against hers. Held them there until she couldn’t stand it any longer. She moved her lips against his. And he responded.

He shifted her into his lap. Tilted her back until he was on top of her. He nudged her lips apart with his tongue and while caressing her cheek, tasted the roof of her mouth with his tongue.

She threaded her fingers through his hair, pulling him closer.

With one hand caressing her cheek, his other hand roamed down her arm, settling on her waist. His lips left hers long enough to linger over her cheeks, her eyelids, then back to her lips.

She couldn’t get enough of him.

He shifted. Nearly fell off the sofa.

Savannah chuckled. “I think we’re too old to make out on the sofa.”

“Never,” he said. “But I wouldn’t mind if we got a little sleep… in the bed.”

“All right,” she said, allowing him to pull her up.

They went upstairs and Savannah paused at her bedroom door. “Do you want the guest room?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Even if I promised to be good?”

“Ok,” she said, “but only for sleeping. Otherwise, we’re back to the sofa.”

“That’s a funny rule,” he said.

“I thought it was pretty good.”

Nonetheless, after he wrapped his arms around her and nestled against her, Savannah was soon sound asleep.

At four a.m. Noah’s cell phone rang. It was a ringtone on his phone she hadn’t heard before. Pleasant, almost like Christmas music or church bells.

Noah stirred, but didn’t wake up. Savannah waited, but no message came through. After a few minutes, she went back to sleep.

At six thirty-five, his cell phone rang again. This was a different ring tone. Not urgent, but not as pleasant either.

This time Noah woke and looked at his phone. He didn’t answer it.

When a text message followed, he jumped out of bed and paced to the window and back while he returned the call.

Savannah kept her eyes closed, pretending to be asleep.

“Claire” he said. “What is it?”

“Where?”

“Is that all you know?”

“I’ll be right there.”

He went into the other bedroom and Savannah could hear him getting dressed.

She got up, put on her robe. Went into the bathroom and brushed her teeth.

When she came out, she heard Noah downstairs. The front door opened and she heard his car unlock.

A couple of minutes later, he sprinted back upstairs, stopped when he saw her standing there. “I have to go,” he said. “I’ll call you.”

Savannah watched as he raced back downstairs and slammed the door. Within seconds, she heard his car backing out of the driveway.

Stunned, she went downstairs and checked the lock. He’d locked the door behind him, at least. Realizing she hadn’t set the alarm last night, she keyed in the code.

She stared down the driveway, but it was though he had never even been there.

She clenched her fists, then rubbed her forehead.

The grandfather clock tolled seven o’clock.

Awake, she went into her kitchen and made a cup of coffee. Then sat down at the little breakfast table in her little breakfast nook. She rarely took the time to watch the magic of daybreak. But today she watched the lake as it ever so slowly became illuminated by the rising sun.

Alone.

And unlike the sunrise she’d watched at Mackinac Island, even in her own home, the house she loved, she did not want to be alone.

Sometime. Somehow. Her heart had shifted back to once again accommodate Noah. It had been seamless. So seamless that she hadn’t even noticed when it happened.

Whatever may come from here, didn’t matter.

She was in love with Noah Worthington.

Always had been.

Always would be.