Chapter 218
Summer's POV
I stood in front of my bedroom mirror, staring at the girl looking back at me. My cheeks were still flushed pink, my lips slightly swollen from kissing. My heart hadn't stopped racing since I'd left Kieran outside, and I was glad—so, so glad—that Victoria wasn't home.
The note she'd left on the kitchen counter was brief: Gone to Fashion Week dinner. Heat up milk if you need it. —Mom
I touched my lips, remembering the way Kieran had kissed me in that equipment shed. The way he'd finally stopped holding back.
My phone buzzed. Kieran.
I'm sorry.
I typed back quickly, my fingers shaking slightly. Don't be. I love you.
His response came faster than I expected.
I love you too. More than I should.
I sank onto the edge of my bed, clutching the phone to my chest. My eyes burned with unshed tears. I knew where that fear came from—I'd seen it in his eyes when he pulled away, when he tried to put distance between us again. The class divide. The weight of everything he thought he wasn't good enough for.
But I also knew what I'd felt in his arms. The way he'd kissed me like I was oxygen and he'd been drowning. The way his hands had trembled when they held my face.
I set the phone down and walked to my bathroom, turning on the shower. As steam filled the small space, I caught sight of myself again in the mirror. The butterfly ring glinted on my finger—the one he'd saved three months of fast-food wages to buy me. The one he'd gone back to the store three times to get the size exactly right.
The hot water felt good against my skin, washing away the tension of the day. But it couldn't wash away the questions spiraling through my mind.
After my shower, I lay in bed with my laptop, searching. "How to handle class differences in relationships." "Supporting a partner from a different economic background." "Overcoming social barriers in love."
The articles were clinical. Detached. None of them understood what it felt like to watch someone you loved carry the weight of the world on their shoulders and refuse to let you help. None of them knew what it was like to see fear in someone's eyes when they looked at you—not fear of you, but fear of losing you.
I closed the laptop and pulled the covers over my head. In the darkness, I could still feel Kieran's arms around me. Still hear his voice saying I love you too. More than I should.
I wanted to text him. To tell him that he didn't love me too much, that there was no "should" about it. That I chose him, and I would keep choosing him, over and over again.
But the words felt too big. Too heavy. I typed them out anyway, one message after another, then deleted them all.
Eventually, exhaustion pulled me under. But even in sleep, I could feel the ghost of his kiss on my lips.
---
The next morning arrived cold and gray. May in Boston could be unpredictable—one day warm and promising, the next damp and miserable. I'd deliberately chosen to enter campus through the north gate, avoiding the route that would take me past the Charles River path where Kieran and I had shared so many quiet moments.
I wasn't ready to see him yet. Not after last night. Not when my emotions were still so raw and tangled.
The IPhO qualifier results would be posted today. I knew that. Kieran knew that. The whole physics department knew that. Which meant he'd be back at school, in the science wing, surrounded by people who would either celebrate him or quietly resent his success.
My hands were clammy despite the cool air. I gripped the straps of my backpack tighter and kept my head down as I walked.
"Summer!"
Mia's voice cut through my thoughts. She jogged up beside me, slightly out of breath, her short hair sticking up at odd angles.
"Hey," I said, trying to sound normal. "You okay?"
"Me? I'm fine. You look like you're about to throw up."
I laughed weakly. "That obvious?"
"Only to someone who knows you." She linked her arm through mine. "Come on. Let's get to homeroom before Thompson marks us late."
But as we approached the main building, I saw the crowd.
Students were clustered around the bulletin board near the entrance—the one usually reserved for sports scores and club announcements. Today, it held something different.
A red poster. Bold black letters.
United States Physics Olympiad (USAPhO) National Team Qualifier Results - Massachusetts Region
My heart stopped.
Mia must have felt me freeze because she squeezed my arm. "Do you want to—"
"Yes."
We pushed through the crowd. I was shorter than most of the people blocking my view, so I had to stand on my toes and crane my neck.
Then I saw it.
Rank #1 - Kieran Cross, St. Jude's Preparatory Academy
The world tilted.
"Oh my god," Mia breathed. "Summer, he did it."
I couldn't speak. Couldn't breathe. My vision blurred as tears filled my eyes.
He'd done it. Against everything—his father coming back, the restaurant closing, his mother's breakdown, working himself to exhaustion—he'd still done it.
First place. In the entire state.
"Summer?" Mia's voice sounded far away. "Are you okay?"
I nodded, even though I wasn't sure. My hands were shaking. I fumbled for my phone, nearly dropping it twice before I managed to open my messages.
Congratulations, my love. I always knew you could do it.
I hit send before I could second-guess myself.
Around me, people were talking. Speculating. Some were impressed. Others—I could hear the edge in their voices—were skeptical.
"How much do you think St. Jude's paid him to transfer here?"
"I heard he's been working at some sketchy place in Southie. Probably why he looks so tired all the time."
"First place though. That's insane. The prize money alone is—"
"A hundred thousand dollars," someone else supplied.