Chapter 118
Summer's POV
The third day back in Boston felt like the hundredth. I sat in the window seat at Dunkin' Donuts, SAT physics practice book open in front of me, steam rising from a cup of coffee I'd barely touched. The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead, mixing with the hiss of the espresso machine and the low chatter of students cramming for midterms. I'd told myself I was here to study between my morning tutoring session at Quantum and my afternoon practice at the Berklee piano rooms, but that was only half true.
The other half sat heavy in my chest every time the door chimed and someone who wasn't Kieran walked through.
I flipped a page without reading it, my eyes drifting to the glass door for what felt like the thousandth time that week. Outside, the temperature had dropped below freezing, the kind of damp Boston cold that seeped through your coat and settled in your bones. People hurried past with their collars up and their hands shoved deep in their pockets, breath fogging in the gray afternoon light. I'd started coming here every day at lunch, telling myself it was convenient, that the wifi was good, that I needed the caffeine. I didn't let myself think too hard about the fact that Quantum Tutoring was two blocks away, or that Kieran had mentioned once—just once, in passing—that he sometimes grabbed food here between his own tutoring shifts.
I pressed my palm against the cold window, watching my handprint fade as the heat from my skin evaporated. My physics homework sat untouched, equations blurring into meaningless symbols. I'd been back from New York for three days and hadn't seen him once. Not in the halls at school, not at his locker, not even a glimpse through the third-floor windows of the physics wing. His texts had been sparse, mechanical. How was your flight? Don't forget to eat. Like I was a distant acquaintance he felt obligated to check on, not someone he'd stood with in the rain and promised he wanted to be in the same city as.
The door chimed again. I looked up so fast my neck cracked, hope flaring hot and stupid in my chest, but it was just a middle-aged man in a Patriots jacket. I turned back to my physics book, jaw tight, and forced myself to read the same problem three times without absorbing a single word.
Then the door opened again, and this time it was a flash of red and yellow that made me freeze.
Lily.
She pushed through the door with both hands, her winter coat so puffy it made her look like a tiny, determined marshmallow. The colors were startling, almost garish—bright red sleeves and a sunshine-yellow torso that practically glowed against the gray slush outside. She spotted me immediately, her face lighting up with that unguarded excitement only little kids could pull off, and waved with her whole arm like she was flagging down a ship.
My heart did something complicated in my chest, a twist that wasn't quite disappointment and wasn't quite relief. I'd been waiting for Kieran, but seeing Lily felt like being handed a piece of him anyway, something warm and real when I'd been starting to wonder if I'd imagined everything between us.
I waved back, my throat tight, and watched her scramble up onto the tall stool across from me. Her legs swung in the air, boots kicking gently against the chair's metal support. She had a hot chocolate clutched in both mittened hands, the whipped cream piled so high it threatened to spill over the rim, and she was poking at it with a straw, her tongue stuck out in concentration.
"Hi, Summer!" she said, bright and breathless, like we were old friends. "I saw you through the window and Kieran said I could come say hi if I was fast."
I glanced past her toward the door, my pulse jumping, but Kieran wasn't there. Just Lily, beaming at me with whipped cream on her upper lip, her honey-colored eyes wide and trusting.
"Hi, Lily," I managed, my voice coming out softer than I'd intended. I closed my physics book and pushed it to the side, leaning forward a little. "That's a really bright coat."
She looked down at herself, then back up at me with a grin that showed the gap where she'd lost a tooth. "Kieran bought it for me! Over year new clothes." Her pronunciation was a little off, the words running together in that way kids did when they were excited. She pointed at the red and yellow panels with one mittened hand. "He said it's like scrambled eggs with tomato. Very bright so the camera can see me and I won't get kidnapped."
I blinked, the words hitting me harder than they should have. Kidnapped. She said it so casually, like it was just another reason to pick a coat, but all I could think about was Kieran standing in some discount store, methodically choosing the loudest colors he could find because he was terrified something might happen to his little sister if she wasn't visible enough.
"That's really smart," I said carefully, my chest aching. "You look like sunshine."
Lily beamed and took a long sip of her hot chocolate, leaving a whipped cream mustache that she didn't bother wiping off. I watched her kick her legs, so small and carefree, and wondered how much she understood about the things her brother carried for her.
"Where's Kieran now?" I asked, trying to sound casual even though my heart was beating too fast.
Lily pointed across the street with her straw, and I followed her gaze through the window. There, in the glass-walled tutoring center on the second floor, I could see him. He was standing at a whiteboard, a marker in his left hand, his right hand hanging loose at his side. Two middle-school kids sat at the table in front of him, one of them scribbling notes while the other stared at the board with a furrowed brow. Kieran's posture was straight, his expression focused and distant, like he'd pulled on a mask that made him look older, harder. He was wearing a black henley shirt, the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, and even from this distance I could see the faint lines of scars on his right forearm.
My stomach twisted. He'd been right there, so close, and I'd spent the last hour staring at the door like an idiot.
"He's teaching," Lily said matter-of-factly, breaking into my thoughts. "He teaches a lot now. He says we need the money for my ears."
"That's really important," I said quietly. "I'm glad he's helping you."
Lily smiled, but then her face shifted, something uncertain creeping into her expression. She leaned forward a little, her voice dropping like she was sharing a secret.
"My dad is coming home soon," she said. "Kieran said we need to move before he finds us."
The world seemed to tilt. I stared at her, my hands frozen on the table, my pulse roaring in my ears.
"Your dad?" I managed, my voice cracking. "I thought—"
I'd thought Catherine was widowed. I'd thought the family was broken by loss, not violence. I'd thought wrong.
Lily's expression didn't change, like she didn't understand why I looked so shocked. "He was in jail," she said simply. "Kieran didn't tell you?"
I shook my head, my mouth dry.