chapter eleven

~ T H E N ~

When I came to, with a headache that made me want to crawl into a six-foot deep hole, I realised three things almost all at once. One, I wasn’t in my own bed. Two, it was now daytime, if the sun that blinded me even through my closed eyes was anything to go by. And three, I was clothed, but had no memory of ever changing.

Eventually, after a long moment of lying there in my own self-pity and regret of drinking – had I even drunk that much? – I rolled over with a groan and opened my eyes.

Once again, I realised three things at once. One, I had absolutely no memory of what happened last night after I had found Storm. Two, six boys were sprawled around the small room, despite the fact that I laid on a bed that could have easily fitted four of them. And three, Sarah was nowhere to be found.

One of the six boys were sat beside me, on a tiny couch seat that did not at all look comfortable to be sleeping on. It was Storm, and I was surprised to find that he was now awake and staring at me with a look I couldn’t decipher.

I frowned and sat up with a wince, cradling the back of my head as the headache grew worse by my sudden movement.

“What happened last night?” I wanted to know. My voice was croaky and I hoped I didn’t look as terrible as I felt. “And whose house are we at?”

My voice was loud to my own ears, and Storms’ was even louder, despite how low he tried to keep it – so low, in fact, that it was a husky rumble that made the butterflies start up in my stomach. “A lot,” is his simply reply as he stood up and inclined his head to the door, a silent request hanging in the air.

I slipped my hand into his awaiting one and let him help me out of bed, the warmth spreading to my cheeks as I realised I was only wearing a long-sleeved shirt that wasn’t mine and fell only inches below my backside. He didn’t bother to take me in, something that confused me as he always took a chance to whenever we were together. Instead he let my hand fall away before he turned around and walked off, footsteps silent against the carpet.

“Well?” I questioned, my nerves churning my stomach as he didn’t once glance at me or say a word even as we went out of the backdoor.

We were still on the beach. But… whose beach house was this?

“Apparently Ryan’s parents own it,” Storm answered my unspoken question.

“Oh,” I muttered, crossing my arms to stop a shiver as a cold, morning sea breeze blew past. “Right.”

I chanced a look at the older boy beside me and noticed how on edge he looked. How messy his blonde mop of hair was and how there was a growing bruise on his right cheek and a new cut on his lip. He didn’t look like he got any sleep, but he didn’t at all look hungover, either.

“Storm,” I said softly as I faced him now, putting a hand on his bicep to try and get him to look at me. He wouldn’t. “Storm, what happened last night?” I pressed, unable to stop the hurt that hit me when he stepped out of my hold.

He wet his lower lip and shoved his hands roughly into his pockets. “You remember how I said I had a crazy ex-girlfriend, right?”

I blinked in confusion. That’s what he wanted to talk about?

“Yeah…?” I uttered hesitantly, unsure as to where this was going.

He turned to finally meet my gaze, and I was surprised to find that his eyes were an even lighter, brighter hazel colour – molten under the morning sun and his hair an even fairer blonde. Despite his tired and dishevelled look and the new and old bruises on his face, he was still as striking as ever – perfect, even.

It wasn’t fair.

He told me something as he watched me stare at him, but it was only when he brought up a name that rang a bell did I snap myself out of my sudden spike of attraction to him. “…there and he talked to you,” he paused to swallow and then he looked angry, so angry that he stopped looking at me again to look out at the ocean beyond. His muscles tensed as he gritted his teeth and I couldn’t help but notice how even that made him ten times more attractive as his jawline stood out even more.

Maybe I was getting my period or something, because if that didn’t explain why I was working myself up and getting all hot and bothered just by looking at Storm, then I don’t know what did.

“Mia, he was hurting you and I… I couldn’t just stand there and let it happen-”

“Is that where you got those new wounds?” I had to ask, eyeing his right cheekbone that was a greenish-purple colour.

He nodded stiffly, ran all ten fingers through his hair and then fisted his hands at his sides. “He was the one who drugged you, that’s why we ended up here instead of going home. Neither of the boys wanted to leave you.”

I laughed then; I couldn’t help it.

“You’re shitting me, right?” I questioned, still laughing as I leaned against the wall beside the back door and crossed my arms, trying to ward off the coldness of the ocean breeze.

Even as he told me these things I couldn’t remember any of it.

“Why in the world would he drug me? Why would anyone want to drug me?” I sounded kind of hysterical even to my own ears and I couldn’t help but laugh a little more.

Apparently our voices were louder than we thought as Tom and a few of the other boys all come outside one by one, asking if I was okay and whether I wanted anything. When they were done, Storm’s eyes found mine again and in it I could see pain and such self-hatred I wanted to hug him, even if it was in front of everyone.

“Because of me.”

“What?”

“He…” Storm swallowed and now he just looked downright terrified, his eyes unable to meet mine again as he looked everywhere but into my eyes. “He thinks I did something bad… something unforgiveable.”

I felt my eyebrows shoot up my forehead, felt the hysteric laughter try to crawl out of me but then caught the uneasy shifting from the boys before, one by one again, they went back inside without another word. They knew what was going to happen next.

“What?” I repeated in pure disbelief, my eyes meeting Tom’s as he was the only one who stayed with a solemn look on his face. He offered nothing.

Once again Storm fisted his hands, then loosened them in order to shove them into his pant pockets a second time. “You were just a pawn to him – another means to get back at me for something I never even did.”

But as he said it, my memories slowly crawled back to me. The way Matt had given me an opened can, the way he flirted with me and the way I called him out on the fact that he had to have had another agenda in talking to me. Turns out he did. He wanted to tell me something unimaginable.

‘… you probably don’t know about all the bad things about him then…’ ‘… stay away from that one.’ ‘Mia, he raped my sister!’

Storm made a move to walk towards me and I couldn’t help but tense up.

Close, too close.

“I’m so sorry you got dragged into this. I should never have-” but he stopped after I flinched away from him when he tried to brush my hair back.

“Don’t,” I shook my head stepping away from him. “Don’t touch me,” I murmured as Tom sent me a look I ignored.

Doing as I said and staying where he was I noticed the way his eyes filled with hurt and then darkened with something like hatred, not for me, but for something else – someone else. “What did he say to you?”

“Enough.”

“Enough?”

I nodded, lips thinned and my arms crossed over my chest defensively.

“Mia, tell me what he said. Please,” he added after noticing my look.

Just leave, he shouldn’t deserve an explanation. Just leave, dammit. But this is Storm, he’d never hurt me. He’d never doing anything bad. Maybe it’s just a lie?

He is a rapist, Mia, Matt’s voice echoed in my mind causing me to flinch again and step away from the only boy who’s been able to make me happy without even trying.

“He-he told me about his sister,” I started refusing to look him in the eye as I drew invisible circles against my forearm. “That you… that-” I bit my lip and couldn’t have said the R word out loud even if I wanted to. “He said the only reason why you weren’t in jail right now was because she loves you too much to let you go there.”

“And you believe it?” Storm asked incredulously, more hurt than angry. “You believe him? A guy you don’t even know? A guy you only talked to for five minutes?” he exclaimed causing me to finally look up at him, eyes watery.

My heart was hammering and my head was throbbing so bad which was probably why I suddenly felt like I had to defend myself.

“It’s not like I have anything else to believe! I mean, if you think about it, I barely even know you!” he flinched and ran his fingers through his hair harshly for the hundredth time. “You’re a nice guy, okay. God, you’re the nicest guy I’ve ever met in my life but when an accusation like that is being made – and the way you reacted to him – what else am I supposed to think?” I exclaimed.

“Exactly! It’s an accusation – it’s not real!” he shouted back in frustration. “Christ, Mia, I know that I don’t tell you things but you know I would never do anything like that! Matt’s a liar!”

“For all I know, you could be too! And – and-” I was such a mess I could have laughed like crazy if it weren’t for the fact that I was in tears and Storm was currently so upset he couldn’t stay still, what with the way he was pacing and yanking at his hair. “I just-I can’t-”

“Will you at least let me tell you my side of the story? The truth of what really happened?” Storm pleaded, finally turning to look at me and moving to grab my hands only to have me step away from him all over again considering he basically admitted to what Matt had told me.

“No!” I cried, “I’m sorry, I can’t talk to you right now. I can’t even look at you.”

“Mia, please,” he begged, softly, the look on his face causing my heart to split in two. “Don’t do this. I didn’t-”

“I don’t want to hear it,” I cut him off rubbing at my wet cheeks stupidly. “Please, I think it’d be best if you’d just leave,” I said as I finally met his gaze.

“Mia,” he murmured, all the hurt and sadness and plead in that one word as he once again went to reach for me only to find that I’d pull back once again.

“Please, Storm. Maybe one day you can tell me, but for now, just… I can’t.”

There was a long moment of silence as we stood there, me staring at him, wishing that he’d just leave already, and him staring at me as he begged for me to believe him with his eyes.

He swallowed loudly and closed his eyes, hands clenching and unclenching before finally he opened them to look at me with such an empty look it made my heart want to shrivel and climb its way out of my mouth. “Fine,” he nodded, “I’ll go. But this won’t be the last time you see or hear from me, I promise you that.”

And considering everything that’d just happened, everything I’d been told last night, maybe I should have felt something like fear or dread as I watched him walk away, even after Tom tried to stop him, but instead I felt hope – yearning maybe.

Man, did I regret ever letting him walk away.