Chapter Five

Kieran cannot sleep the whole night kaya tinanghalian siya ng gising. He stood up and stretched his body. Dumiretso siya sa loob ng banyo para magsipilyo. He already packed his things, clothes, personal belongings, etc. Isa rin sa mga dahilan kung bakit hindi siya nakatulog nang maaga because his mind went to the future of something that might happen to him and Hardin.

How could he be comfortable sleeping beside Hardin, kung alam niya sa sarili niya na mahal niya ‘to? Magandang opportunity ba ‘yon para mag-confess na siya? Pero alam niyang hindi ‘yon madali. Ayaw niyang ma-reject, at masira ang kanilang pagkakaibigan. Straight si Hardin, kaya babae ang gusto nito at hindi ang isang tulad niya. Wala na atang tsansang maging sa kanya si Hardin.

He stared at his reflection in the mirror. He grinned. His hands were on his waist. He observes his body, criticizing his expression. He has a perfect expression. Ang magulong buhok niya ay mas nagpa-cute sa kanya. His beautiful curved lips were like the lips of a woman perfect for his hawkish nose, to golden brown eyes. His smile swam with the joy and vigor of youth. Umiling siya at yumuko upang maghilamos.

He told Arthit not to disclose to their parents ang pag-alis niya mamaya at tumira sa bahay ni Hardin. Dahil alam niyang hindi siya papayagan ng daddy niya. Kung nasa Thailand lang ang parents niya ay alam niyang hindi siya makalabas. He told his mom about it. Patay siya kung malalaman iyon ng daddy niya.

He was very happy after seven years he and Hardin finally reunited. Pero hindi rin niya maiwasan ang ma-disappointed na kahit nasa Bangkok lang ito ay hindi nito ‘yon ipina-alam sa kanya. He never visited Kieran once. He feels like Hardin doesn’t want to see him.

After seven years he appeared to congratulate him for passing the entrance exam. Hardin appeared like it was just he lost yesterday. He appeared and asked Kieran if he could move into his house. Was it the beginning of the after?

A story that started on the Rama VIII bridge, end up in Saem Choi yd, and the continuation was after seven years. But of course, Hardin didn’t appear as an ex-lover asking him to have another set of their story after Hardin gave up on him. Hardin appeared because they’re friends, and they have sworn to each other that they should study at the same university.

He shook his head and went down to the living room. Ngumising ibinagsak niya ang sarili sa mahabang sofa. Dapat ay maligo na siya kasi anumang oras ay darating si Hardin para sunduin siya. He was not giving a damn, medyo takot din siya sa lamig, at ayaw pa niyang maligo.

Tinamad na tumayo siya at dumiretso sa kusina, humanap ng makakain sa fridge. Kumuha siya ng tsokolate and fresh cold milk. He filled the glass and went back to the living room. Na-bored siya at tila walang balak sina Pharm at Ayne na imensahe siya. Hindi niya alam kung preparado na ang mga ito.

He masticated the chocolate, abruptly his phone lit up and a message popped. It was a message from Hardin, he said na he was on the way na raw. Hindi niya ‘yon nireplayan, binasa niya lang pagkatapos ay muling ibinaba niya ang kanyang cellphone.

He continued munching the chocolate in his mouth and gulped his cold milk. Iniisip naman niya ang buhay kasama si Hardin. Hardin was in his last year now in the university, so it means isang taon niya lamang makakasama ito. Kieran wasn’t sure, malay ba niya ay hindi ito umalis sa Bangkok after his graduation.

Kieran valued their pinky swear. In a traditional Japanese tradition, once nag-pinky swear ka, you have to devote to it, once you failed your swear or promise you to have to cut your pinky finger. Pero paano kung paggising niya ng isang umaga at wala na ‘to? like what happened seven years ago. Sana nga ay hindi na ‘yon mangyari pa ulit.

Ibinaba niya ang hawak niyang baso na may laman pang gatas sa glass circle table. Inubos niya ang tsokolateng kinain niya. Then, tumingin siya sa kawalan. Nagpakawala siya ng isang malalim na buntong hininga.

Nag-ring ang cellphone niya at ang pangalan ni Hardin ang nakarehistro sa caller ID ng cellphone niya. Hardin asked for his cellphone and line number yesterday, ibinigay niya naman ito sa binata at nang nagmensahe ito sa kanya ay ni-saved niya ang numero nito. Hardin’s name on his contact was ‘Maew na rak’ Cute Cat. He found it cute. He smiled answering Hardin’s call.

Ayaw niyang siya ang unang magsalita. Sa totoo lang kasi ay nahihiya pa siya kay Hardin, at wala siyang maisip na maaring sabihin. Hindi siya madaldal na tao, kaya iniisip niyang napaka-boring niyang tao. They’re just reunited yesterday. They’re like a stranger that wanted to know each other.

“Hello?”

“Khrub.” He answered politely.

“Nasa labas na ako ng gate ng bahay n’yo. Are you ready Nong?”

“Hmmm... can I have a minute?”

“Sure khrub. I have to check my old room in our house,” he said from the other line.

"Chai.” (Yes) He immediately stood up, kailangan na niyang maligo na kahit takot ang katawan niya sa lamig ng tubig. Pumasok siya sa loob ng banyo. He quickly took off his shorts and shirt. Napapikit siya nang maramdaman ang pagbuhos ng tubig sa kanyang buhok at katawan. Sa loob ng bente minutos ay lumabas na siya sa banyo at malaki ang mga hakbang niya sa kanyang closet, parang kidlat siya sa bilis na pagbibihis.

He wears a blue shirt and he partnered it with his black shorts, and he looks damn cool in blue. White, black and blue is his favorite colors because it’s good and fit his personality. He has a taste in fashion. Kahit sa simpleng T-shirt, o kasuotan lang ay litaw ang kapogian at pagiging-cute niya.

Bumaba na siya at binalikan ang cellphone niya. Naka-ilang message na pala si Hardin na puntahan niya raw ito sa bahay nito. He idly went out. Hardin’s house gate was opened and he went freely inside. A black car that shine in the reflection of the sun parked there in the parking lot of the house. Pitong taon na rin nang hindi na bumalik sa Thailand ang mommy ni Hardin kaya napabayaan ang bahay na binili nito. Pero hindi naman ‘yon totally na napabayaan, mayroon kasing naglilinis niyon monthly nga lang.

The door opened ajar, Kieran peeping in and later he went inside. It wasn’t his first time na pumasok doon, exploring the entire place, back then seven years ago ay palagi siyang dinadala ni Hardin doon lalo na sa silid nito. They wrestled and often listened to each other’s heartbeats.

Hardin was not there in the living room. So he stepped slowly and went upstairs to Hardin’s room. Nakabukas ang pinto ng silid nito. Pero wala ito roon. He heard a drip of water. Kieran walked to Hardin’s bathroom and pushed the door with his shoulder, at biglang bumukas ‘yon. Kieran lost balance. He slipped and was about to dive inside, but something blocked his head, he was blocked by a bare body.

Napapikit siya, at nang nagdilat siya ng mga mata ay nakita niyang nakadiin ang ulo niya sa matibay na tiyan ni Hardin. Hardin was topless. Nanlaki ang mga mata niya sa posisyong iyon, lalo nang bumaba ang tingin niya. His face closed to Hardin’s possession. His heart beating faster and faster na parang may giyera sa kanyang dibdib.

Mabilis siyang tumayo nang tuwid, at salubungin ang tingin nito. Katatapos lang pala nito sa pagliligo kaya basa ang katawan nito, basa nga ba? Muling bumaba ang tingin niya but this time ay mula sa didbib nito pababa sa pusod nito.

That trail of hair from Hardin’s chest to his navel makes Kieran nervous and he found himself blushing uncontrollably. His scent gave Kieran goosebumps. Kieran hopes Hardin’s bare body and scent won’t make him turn on.

F*ck what I was thinking? I need medical attention. This isn’t right…

“Sorry khrub.” He apologized. Hindi niya alam kung bakit nakuha ng mga maliit na butil ng tubig sa katawan nito ang atensiyon niya. Hardin was looking so hot. He closed his eyes, hindi niya kayang obserbahin pa ang buong katawan ni Hardin at baka hindi niya mapigilan ang sarili at yakapin ito.

Hardin stretched his arms reaching for the towel that was hanging near Kieran’s head, dumikit sa kanya ang balat nito malapit sa kilikili nito and the inevitable charge rips through him. Kieran opened his eyes.

Ano bang ginagawa niya roon at hindi niya naisipang lumabas? Napalunok siya nang ilang beses. Ang bangu-bango talaga ni Hardin. It makes Kieran sick, sick with desire, and in love. Kieran loves Hardin’s hair on his oxter. Hindi ‘yon makapal at ‘yon ang mas lalong dumagdag sa fiery and igneous body of Hardin.

“It’s okay, Nong,” sabi nitong ngumingiti. He wrapped the towel around his waist.

Lumabas na siya at umupo siya sa gilid ng kama nito. Ilang segundo ang lumipas ay lumabas na rin ito at naghanap ng masusuot nito. Nagbibihis ito sa kanyang harapan na parang wala itong paki-alam. Of course ay hindi nito alam na hindi sila pareho.

Kieran didn’t consider himself as ‘di normal’ na tao. He was like everybody else. People need to respect gay like him, his intentions are good, and he deserve to be loved. ‘Yon ang dapat malaman ng daddy niya that Kieran was not a curse, and disgrace. Pero kahit magpaliwanag pa siya ay wala iyon kabuluhan. Dahil ang puso at isip ng daddy niya ay sarado.

Pagkatapos nitong magbihis ay tinuyo nito ang buhok gamit ang blower. He was hot with his messy hair. Hardin looks at Kieran with a big smile on his lips. “So, shall we go now?”

“Yes, we shall. And how about Pharm and Ayne?” he asked

“No problem with that, Nong. I gave them my address and they will be there this evening.” Pagkasabi nito niyon ay hinawakan nito ang palad niya at hinila siya nito palabas ng silid nito.

INAALAYAN siya ni Hardin na ilabas ang mga gamit niya. Nang nasa labas na ‘yon ay iniisa-isa niyang i-check ang mga gamit niya. Ayaw niyang may makalimutan siya sa mga importanteng gamit niya.

When he was sure that all are secured and he left none of his important things, like books, and personal belongings he asked Hardin to help him na ipasok ang mga gamit niya sa likod ng sasakyan nito.

Agad namang tumalima ito. Pagkatapos ay binuksan nito ang passenger side ng kotse para sa kanya. He let a sigh and he enters Hardin’s car. Hindi niya inaasahang pati sa pagkabit ng seatbelt ay inaalayan siya nito.

Nang tumingala ito sa mukha niya ay nagtama ang kanilang mga tingin. Nagpapahiwatig ng masayang emosyon ang mga mata nito na tila sumasayaw. Tumagal lang nang ilang segundo ang tinginan nila dahil nagbaba ito ng tingin, huli niya ang matamis nitong ngiti bago tumayo nang tuwid at isinara ang passenger side ng kotse.

Pumasok na rin ito sa loob at dinig niya ang pagbuntong hininga nito. He glanced at Hardin who was in driving seat. Hardin gave him a sweet smile, a sweet smile ever followed by a wink that makes Kieran’s heart rock.