Chapter 24

Niku was starting to realize the importance of what he was being shown. Even though he didn't want to admit it. Even though it scared him to acknowledge it. The Roc and the Dragon were showing him what he really was. He was born of two worlds but belonged to neither. He was bound to both but neither would accept him fully if they knew the truth.

He was homeless.

He was raceless.

That's right. You are nothing. You are an aberration. An abnormality. A freak, a voice said.

Nothing, a different voice said.

Freak.

You are going fail.

You are going to destroy Purga.

They will hate you.

No one will accept you.

"Stop it," Niku shouted. "Shut up!"

The voices were loud. So loud. He did what he could to shut them out, but they wouldn't go away. No matter what he did. They drove into his mind like a drill. He could feel the voices burrowing deeper and deeper inside him. They insinuated themselves into his thoughts and echoed there. He felt like he was going to completely lose his mind.

There is nowhere you belong. There is nowhere on Purga you can go. Nowhere you will be accepted.

[This is, has always been, your destiny,] the Roc whispered to him. Its voice felt far away which increased the sense of loneliness Niku felt. [You are not alone. This is why you were born. The dichotomy of Purga has always been its greatest weakness. The split between the races has allowed Blak to seize control. You are not a mistake, Niku. You are the cure. You are the embodiment of healing to this world. Don't you understand that?]

It didn't matter to Niku, however. He didn't believe the Roc. He believed the voices. The voices were right. He knew that. He felt it. He wasn't important. He was nothing. He was nobody.

[Don't listen to them,] the Roc said. [This is what they want. What Blak wants. He wants you to give up but if you do, then you really will be alone. You will really be nothing.]

Niku raised his head slightly to look at the giant bird. It was surprisingly difficult. The act of simply picking his own head up took nearly all the strength he had left.

"Why? Why should I not believe them? They only speak the truth. The people of my world will never accept me. I am an abomination. I am a mistake!" Niku felt all his hate and rage boil over. He hated everyone and everything in that moment. All he felt was a deep sense of betrayal, like Purga itself had wronged him. Like his world had turned its back on him. "Just leave me alone. Let me die here. The world will be better off for it."

[That's not you talking. That's Blak. It's what he does. He subverts and corrupts everything he touches. He turns people against each other, against their own minds, and sows nothing but destruction and chaos. You must be strong now, Niku. You were born to fight. You were born for a greater purpose. Do not let that purpose die here, in this wretched place,] the Roc said passionately.

The magnificent beast stepped closer to Niku. The boy was lying on the ground, still curled into a fetal position. He looked gaunt and weak. His face was hollow and his cheekbones stood out in stark contrast in the crazy, purple lights flickering through the inky darkness.

Niku looked up at the creature, his eyes wet with tears.

The Roc looked down on the boy with sympathy and kindness. The anger at Niku's stubbornness was gone for now. All it could see in the boy was loneliness and self-loathing. It was not his fault that the world he lived in was so divided. It was not his fault that he was born to the parents that he was born to. It was not his fault that his father was a Terra and his mother was a Rook.

And yet he hated himself for it. He hated his own heritage. The world he lived in taught him that hate.

[Do not give up,] the Roc said. [The hate you feel towards yourself is a lie, Niku. You are not alone. You are not worthless. You are strong. You are a fighter. So fight!]

The Roc reached out with a wing tip again and once more brushed a feather to the boy's forehead.

Sparks of white-blue electricity suddenly flared to life around Niku. His body stiffened. The green-brown irises of his eyes flashed with blue light. His mouth opened in a silent scream.

**

Niku was suddenly back in Vitari. He was nine years old again. It was the first day of his warrior's training. It was a big day. An exciting day. He'd been waiting for it for as long as he could remember. He had this idea in his head that he would be just like his father. Cyrus had been an apt pupil, even at the early age of nine when Terras started their training in the arts of fighting and war.

Niku had been envisioned what it would be like to start his own training for the past year and a half. He'd envisioned himself being the best in his class. He envisioned himself as a prodigy.

"Sloppy work, boy," someone said.

Niku didn't know what happened. He was on his back. His head was ringing. His vision was blurry and there was a sharp, stinging sensation coming from the back of his head. He groaned in absolute misery and all he wanted to do was cry.

His eyes focused and he saw his sensen, or instructor, staring down at him. He was a grizzled warrior named Gar. Sitting perched on his shoulder was a golden furred monkey. Its little head was cocked to one side as it peered down at Niku in curiosity.

"You gonna sleep all day, son," Gar asked. There was a hint of a smile on his face as he fed the monkey a few berries from a pouch he kept on his hip.

Niku fervently shook his head no.

"Then get up and tell me what you did wrong," Gar told him. He reached out a hand and grabbed Niku's arm. Then he hauled the boy up with a crazy amount of strength.

Niku got back on his feet but he was a little woozy. He faltered for a second, but Gar kept him up. The warrior clapped him on the back, sending Niku forward a couple of inches.

Niku felt his face heat up with embarrassment. He looked at the ground because he didn't want to see the looks on his classmates' faces. He didn't want to see their amusement or the snickers they tried to hide behind their hands. He shuffled his feet and kicked at the grass. All he wanted to do was go back home and never come back out again.

"So that's it then," Gar asked him. He stood directly in front of Niku.

Niku didn't look up.

"You're going to give up. You're going to just stop fighting?" Gar asked. "If that's how it's going to be then you should just go home now, boy."

Niku felt anger rage up inside him. It pulsed inside his head. He could feel the blood pounding in his temples.

"Stop," Niku said. His voice was quiet and barely above a whisper.

"Stop? Stop what? Telling you the truth? If you can't handle a simple truth, son, then you definitely don't belong here." Gar turned his back on Niku and walked away.

"Don't...dismiss...me," Niku said. The pounding in his temples got even worse.

Gar stopped in his tracks and cocked his head back toward Niku.

"I'll never stop fighting!" Niku shouted. His voice came out loud and hurt his throat but he didn't care. He ran headlong at Gar. In that moment, he didn't care about anything. He didn't care about getting hurt. He didn't care about losing to the old warrior. He didn't care about the looks that he was going to see on the others' faces. All he cared about was proving Gar wrong. Proving to his sensen that he was meant to be a warrior.

He got to Gar. The old warrior whirled around and faced Niku as he came at him. He fell into a steady, fighting stance. He kept his body loose and fluid. His hands were raised in front of him, both of them open, like he was getting ready to grapple. The monkey on his shoulder let out a loud series of chitters and then jumped to the ground.

Niku felt a weird sense of clarity. Everything slowed down. Gar's movements looked sluggish.

Niku rolled across the ground as Gar reached for him. He popped back up behind his sensen and before the burly man could do anything to stop him, Niku jumped on his back. He wrapped his arm around Gar's neck and bore down with all his strength. He screamed and yelled the whole time.

Gar tried to throw the boy off his back but Niku was obstinate. He held on with single-minded stubbornness. Gar struggled some more but when it became apparent that there was no getting Niku off his back, he started laughing riotously.

"Good," Gar said in a hoarse croak. "That's enough." He slapped Niku's arm.

There was a moment when Niku let his anger keep controlling him. His blood still thundered in his ears and he didn't hear Gar tell him to stop.

Gar patted Niku's arm again.

This time, Niku realized that his sensen was telling him to stop. He released his hold on him and dropped to the ground, breathing hard. His body felt strangely weak, but he didn't care. All he could do was smile.

"That's the fire, boy," Gar told him as he helped Niku to his feet. "Never forget that."

**

The memory suddenly died out and Niku came back to himself. He was still in the purple streaked darkness. The cyclonic wall was going full force, but it was closer this time. Inside it, he could see phantom faces full of agony and pain.

There were so many. So many faces. So much pain.

Niku turned away from them and got slowly to his feet. The effort it took was monumental. He struggled to even lift his own body weight. He finally managed, however, and stood next to the Roc.

[That is who we need now,] the Roc told him. [We need the fighter. The same fighter you were on that day.]

"How do we get out of here?" Niku asked. The desperation. The depression. The loneliness he'd been feeling in this place. All of it. It was burned away by his rage, but it was different this time. This time that anger was tempered with determination and reason. Instead of being used by it, he now controlled it.

[You know your truth now. And you even accepted it. That is the first step.]

"What's the next step?" he asked.

[You fight,] the Roc said.