Chapter One

He was always my protector. Ever since I mustered up the courage to speak to him at lunch, he was always my protector. Some might say we were too close to just be friends but that's what we were.

Although we were close, he still spent most of his time with his guy friends either at the gym or the pub. It was something that annoyed me. Mostly because he was wasting his time. He was turning 21 next month and had no direction for his future.

I know I shouldn't care if that's what he wanted to do, but I wanted something more for him. I wanted him to have purpose in his life.

I was on an internship at an agency and had a few jobs that paid me some good money since my parents didn't work 9–5 jobs anymore.

Damon had invited us all round for a meal later tonight. He didn't want to tell me why even though I asked him a number of times. He may listen to me, but I'd be stupid to think that I could control what he did.

He was very charming which makes it hard to stay mad at him. Only my stepsister knew about my secret longing for Damon. Not going to deny it. He was rather handsome, and did I say charming already?

My interest with him started at a party. I had turned 18 a few days before and we were both drunk. Actually, a lot of people were drunk.

I was camped out on the stairs with a few of the guys, bored of the game that everyone was playing in the lounge. Damon and I were left alone when the guys heard some more girls were on their way. Horny bastards.

I was just playing with the scar on his arm when Damon lifted me up and placed me on his lap. The next thing I knew, he'd smashed his lips against mine.

Like every first kiss, it was awkward at first, but his lips coaxed mine and made it easy to follow.

The following morning when we had McDonald's for breakfast, I found out that he didn't remember a thing. I decided never to bring it up and just have my own little secret.

I'm glad he was my first.

I took my time getting ready for tonight. I don't know why, but I felt like something big was going to happen.

He had been acting distant lately. Going to the gym more than normal and having these meet ups where he would have to travel an hour away. I didn't understand it, but I also knew if he didn’t want to straight up tell me then I wouldn't be successful in getting an answer from him.

I picked out a classic black dress that fit me perfectly. I paired it with some black boots and a thick jean jacket that was actually his. I should probably return it to him tonight before I forgot.

I sprayed some perfume on and did a final check in the mirror before I made my way downstairs. My parents were ready to drive me and my sister to the restaurant.

We were meeting him there, and I assumed most of the guys would be meeting us there too. I was so nervous walking inside, but Lily had a tight hold on my hand. I could always rely on my sister.

Pretty much everyone was seated already. Damon had already pulled out a seat for me that was right next to him. I smiled at him and took my place.

We ordered our food and started eating when our meal arrived. The casual conversation around the table was nice and relaxing. Damon had his seat close to mine and we were shoulder to shoulder.

"Is that my jacket?” he leaned in to whisper in my ear. I angled my head sending him a small smirk.

"You can have it back tonight," I said to him, grabbing my glass of coke and slowly drinking from it. I saw him take a drink of his own.

"No, keep it." I was about to object, but he sent me a look that said, “Don't argue.”

After all the years I've known him, I knew that look all too well.

"You're going to need it," I heard him mutter as he turned his head to converse with one of the guys. Those words scared me. Why would I need his coat? I have plenty at home just like this one. Maybe not as big and warm, but very similar.

"You okay?" Adam, Lily's boyfriend, whispered, placing his hand on my arm. I nodded quickly. I hadn't even noticed that I was just staring at Damon as he spoke.

"Yeah, just thinking," I answered honestly.

"You're probably dying to know why we're having such a formal dinner and why he wanted everyone to be here," he says. I feel like he knew something I didn't.

"Do you know?" He shook his head, but I felt as though he was lying.

An hour passed, and Damon got all our attention. He had everyone watching and listening to him with such ease. It was admirable.

He sat up straight and placed his hand on my leg. It was firm, but it was like he needed me for courage. My heart was racing. I had no idea what Damon was thinking at this minute.

"Thank you for coming tonight. As well as inviting you all to have a meal like we used to, I also have something I want to tell all of you." I watch his mom bite her lip slightly. She was avoiding eye contact with anyone.

I stared at her. What did she know?

"Right. Well, I guess this is the time to say it. I've been thinking a lot lately." Thinking and Damon…well this can't be good.

"And the main thing I've had on my mind is my future. I'm 21 now and I have no future planned at all. I know that worried a lot of you, but it never really seemed important to me." I could sense some shakiness in his voice.

I wrapped my fingers around his arm. He took a deep breath as soon as I did.

"Basically, what I'm trying to say is that I need to figure my life out before I start to pursue what I really want. Dad left saying that I would be the man of the family. I need to take care of everyone, but right now I'm failing. I've considered everything, and in a week, I will be joining the army. Not only will I be fighting for my country, but it will give me time to really think."

The guys were shocked for about two seconds before they stood up and started to congratulate him.

He removed his hand from my leg and thanked them. I was in total shock. I never thought I would hear those words come out of Damon’s mouth. He never said anything about wanting to join the army.

As soon as I heard his mother’s faint cry, I flew out of my seat. Without sparing a glance, I raced out of the restaurant, desperate. I ran into my dad’s Range Rover and sat in the backseat. I let the tears fall from my eyes, sending a silent prayer that all this was a dream.

The sound of the door opening made me freeze. I could sense it was him. I didn't even have to check.

"Baby girl, I'm sorry," he whispers, wrapping his arms around my waist. As soon as his nickname fell from his mouth, I sobbed into my hands. I hated how weak I was right now.

He lifted me up, placing me in his lap. His hands came up and wiped away my tears. But I had given up. I let them continue to fall.

"I hate to see you cry," he mumbled. I couldn't help it though. He was always here right where I needed him. Now he was leaving me and there was a chance he wouldn't come back.

"I have to go; I need to figure my life out. I know you hate how I'm pissing about, but I want to make you proud of me, baby."

I sniffle. I didn't mean go get yourself killed, I think to myself. What kind of logic was that?

"What if you don't come back?" I muttered, playing with his long fingers.

His breathing faltered slightly.

"I will, baby girl. I'll always come back, whatever it takes," he said seriously.

Feeling like I had no other choice, I nodded my head and sank into his embrace.

Damon led me out and into his own car. I texted my parents saying I'd go home with Damon, which they understood. I felt at ease in Damon’s arms.

We were both playing a game on his Xbox, one of the special ways we spent time together.

"Stay with me tonight baby. We can get breakfast tomorrow morning at that place you love," he said, pressing his lips against my head.

He had no idea what his kisses did to me.

“Okay Damon," I replied, my heart slowly breaking.

Waking up in the morning, I rolled over expecting to see Damon’s large form sleeping silently. But instead, I was met with a bouquet of red roses.

I smiled from ear to ear, smelling the beautiful scent until I saw a small piece of paper sticking out. With a horrible gut feeling, I scanned the paper, reading the words written in his handwriting.

I nearly choked when I read it. Tears were falling down my cheeks.

He lied to me. He left without having the balls to say goodbye like a proper man. How could he do this to me? Did he do the same to his mum? For fuck’s sake, Damon.

I realized that I was still in his house. I made my way down the staircase and into the kitchen.

I saw Damon’s beautiful mom at a table holding a piece of paper with tears in her eyes. I realized how much of a baby I've been. After losing her husband, and now her son, this woman has just been left alone.

"Natalie!" I ran towards her, wrapping my arms around her in a tight embrace.

"He's gone," she whispered. Her tiny sobs were the only sound filling my ears.

I had decided. From this day, I would do anything to help Natalie. I would treat her like my own family because she truly needed a family right now.

I wouldn't forget this day. It was the day I realized how selfish Damon really was.