Chapter 13 - Craig

As soon as the hotel room door closed, Isaac started to wail. Craig held Isaac to his chest and rocked him back and forth, but it did nothing to calm Isaac down.

“Hey, don’t cry,” Craig muttered. He was close to tears himself. He knew he’d reacted poorly to Jack’s story, but he couldn’t help himself. When Jack talked about his sex life, it did something to Craig. An uncomfortable, prickling feeling permeated his torso and wreaked havoc on his nerves.

Thinking about Jack with a man-made Craig sick and he couldn’t explain why.

“What do you need, little man? Something a little more than a formula? We’ve got just the thing for you. Why don’t we get you set up to eat?”

Craig held Isaac with one arm and wrested open the diaper bag with the other. He took out some diluted rice cereal he’d brought along, then managed to wedge it between the desk and his hip so he could twist the cap off. Craig set the jar on the desk.

“Look at all this great cereal,” Craig said. He rooted through the diaper bag for a spoon. “Fantastic cereal all for you. So delicious.”

According to Nadine, Isaac was just starting on stage one baby food. Craig still needed to look into the difference between stages. He had no idea how it worked.

He dipped the small spoon into the jar, then adjusted Isaac so he could eat. Craig brought the food to his mouth, but Isaac wouldn’t take it. His face was screwed up. He screamed.

It sounded like there was something wrong.

Craig didn’t know Isaac well enough to tell his cries apart. He’d read on parenting forums that some mothers knew what a baby was trying to say through his or her cry alone. Craig wasn’t at that level. Isaac was a mystery he was desperately trying to solve.

“You won’t eat?” Craig asked. “It’s good. You don’t know what you’re missing.”

Isaac curled his fingers in Craig’s shirt. His face turned red.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I promise I’m going to figure it out.” Craig set the spoon down and took Isaac to the bed. He checked Isaac’s diaper. It was clean. “All right, so you’re not wet…”

What, then? If he wasn’t hungry or wet, then what was the problem? Craig scooped him back up and started to rock him again, but Isaac would not settle down.

Maybe it was something as simple as being in a new place. Isaac had taken to Jack’s house immediately, but that didn’t mean much. They were in a hotel now. There were new sounds and smells. Isaac didn’t have the comfort of his new home, and Craig hadn’t put on any background noise to distract him with.

Hoping it might do something, Craig turned on the television and set the volume low. Isaac didn’t stop crying.

“What is it?” The longer Isaac cried, the more stressed-out Craig felt. “I wish you could tell me. I don’t know. I’m doing my best here, I really am…”

The minutes moved slowly. Sometimes Isaac would settle down, but the peace was always short lived. The anguish in his cry hinted that there was something wrong. For the life of him, Craig couldn’t figure out what it was.

Isaac had to be sick. There wasn’t any other explanation. Hoping to make him feel better, Craig bathed him. He was in the process of toweling Isaac off and dressing him when the lock on the door read a key card. The door opened.

“Isaac?” It was Jack’s voice.

“He’s in here,” Craig said. “In the bathroom.”

“God, he’s cranky.” Jack stepped into the room and walked right up to Craig and Isaac. Without asking for permission, Jack lifted Isaac from the counter and laid him upon his chest. He grabbed a towel from the towel rack and slung it over his shoulder, then rested Isaac’s head against it. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

Craig leaned against the counter. He watched as Jack paced, patting Isaac’s back. He was burping him.

Isaac screamed.

“Yeah, I know,” Jack said sympathetically. “It sucks to be a baby. One day, though, you’re going to be belching with the best of us. You just gotta work at it, okay?”

Seeing Jack and Isaac together warmed Craig’s heart. He crossed his arms loosely over his chest and followed them as they paced. Jack was so swept up in Isaac that it seemed he didn’t notice Craig.

“C’mon, little man,” Jack coaxed. “Get it out. I know it hurts, but once you let go it’s going to feel a million times better.”

Jack kept patting at Isaac’s back. Finally, Isaac burped.

“Woohoo! Good job.” Jack kissed the top of his head and Craig almost melted into a puddle on the floor. Jack was a typical looking guy, but when he was with Isaac there was a glow that lit him from the inside and made him infinitely more handsome. Craig noticed it right away. “Got any more for me?”

Now that the first burp was out, Jack seemed to relax. He met Craig’s eye and Craig found himself flustered. He was embarrassed for his behavior earlier. He hadn’t meant to chase Jack out, but he had no other way to deal with his feelings.

“He’s gassy,” Jack said. “We’re going to get it all out and get this little man feeling better.”

“I’m so glad you came back.” Craig pushed off the counter. “I didn’t know what to do. I completely forgot about burping him. My brain melted down and I couldn’t think straight.”

“That’s why you need a gay guy to help look after your kid.” Jack winked. “We’re used to not thinking straight.”

Craig grinned. The awkwardness between them was gone. He didn’t know where Jack had gone or what he’d done, but he hadn’t been gone for long. It made Craig feel better.

Jack was there for him, not because he wanted to have a good time. He kept a calm head when Craig was at wit’s end. Together they made a good team.

“Do you think he’s going to be okay?” Craig asked.

“Yeah. Gas can be painful, but we got it under control. I think he’s going to be just fine.” Jack kept patting. “My sister’s youngest kid, Graham, was a super gassy baby. I learned to recognize the shriek.”

“I’m not there yet,” Craig admitted.

“You will be soon enough,” Jack promised. He stuck out his tongue. “Then when Cecilia comes back and tells you that you have another kid to look after, you’ll be a pro.”

“Oh, god no.” Craig shook his head. The thought distressed him to no end. Synthia wasn’t perfect by any stretch of the word, but she was down to earth and understood that life didn’t always work in her favor. Cecilia was nothing like that. “She was on birth control the entire time we were together, and I always used protection on top of that.”

“What’s so different about Isaac’s mom, then?” Jack asked. Isaac burped again. He wasn’t crying anymore.

“I didn’t want to break up with her,” Craig admitted. “She had… has a drinking problem. I left her because she refused to admit it. Things got heated between us when I told her it was over. She screamed at me and we fought over it. She got under my skin just like she always knew how to do, and it made me so frustrated I…”

“Hatefucked her?” Jack asked.

“Yeah.”

In the heat of the moment, it had been one of the hottest things ever. Craig had never been harder in his life. They’d fallen into bed together, kissing each other only to shut each other up. It had been their last goodbye.

But now, looking back, Craig didn’t feel anything. The moment was one he’d revisited for masturbation fodder, but now it was dull. If anything, it made him feel unwell.

“So, that’s the difference,” Craig mumbled. “I didn’t want to break up with Synthia, but I had to anyway. Cecilia wasn’t the same. I was already having doubts about our wedding before she severed ties.”

“So no hatefucking this time around. Got it.”

It was embarrassing to admit. Craig already felt bad enough as it was that he’d gone off on Jack. Talking about his own sex life felt hypocritical.

“I don’t really want to talk about it,” Craig admitted. “It’s in the past. I’ve moved on. I’m hoping for something a lot better in the future, you know? Something that isn’t forced or entered into out of convenience. The next time I fall into bed with someone, I want it to be because I fall in love with them.”

“I understand.” Jack’s hand slowed as Isaac settled down. “I think I feel the same way. After I ended my last relationship, I told myself that I wasn’t going to settle for any rebounds or get my heart tied up in anything temporary.”

“But you went out anyway?” Craig asked. “You could have stayed. I was an ass to you before and I’m sorry about it.”

“Oh.” Jack smiled. It was simple and bright, like he truly appreciated Craig’s apology. “Thanks. I wanted to get out of your hair for a little bit. You looked stressed out. I think it’s a good idea we got this hotel room—both of us are kind of at the end of our ropes.”

“Mm.” That wasn’t it, but Craig allowed the issue to be brushed off. He didn’t want to complicate matters. “And now that you’ve got Isaac settled, we can focus on getting a good night’s sleep.”

“Did you order that pizza?” Jack asked.

“No,” Craig admitted.

“Go ahead and order it. My treat. Look up Spiro’s Pizza. I’ll try to get Isaac settled while you pick something out.”

“Anything you don’t eat on pizza?” Craig asked. He drew his phone from his pocket. Previously, he’d believed that letting another person take care of his son would be difficult. Seeing Jack and Isaac together changed his mind.

Jack gave him a hard look. “Pineapple. And if you say you do eat pineapple on pizza, we’re going to have to reconsider our friendship.”

Craig snickered. “Okay, okay. I got the message.”

“But do you?” Jack asked.

Craig stuck out his tongue. “Not anymore.”

There was an easiness between them that Craig adored. The humor in Jack’s eyes awoke something inside of Craig that kept him riveted. Friendship was magical. He’d never had a best friend before, but now he understood what the appeal was.

“Good man.” Jack left the room. “I won’t have to kill you in your sleep.”

“Good to know.” Craig arched a brow even though Jack couldn’t see. He placed the order, then left the bathroom to find Jack laying Isaac back down in the crib. “Pizza’s going to be here in forty to fifty minutes.”

“Just in time for Isaac to wake back up when there’s a knock at the door,” Jack said with a laugh. “Perfect.”

For a second, it was easy to forget that Jack wasn’t a part of their family. Craig watched him take such tender care of Isaac and couldn’t stop smiling.

“I’ll wait for them outside the room once we get to the forty-minute mark,” Craig volunteered. “We’ll let Isaac get the sleep he deserves.”

“Mmhm. Tough life, being a baby. All that growing to worry about.” Jack stretched. “Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m beat. I think I’m going to watch some TVand kick back until the pizza gets here.”

With Jack there to join him, Craig couldn’t think of a better way to spend his night.