Chapter 12 - Jack

By the time the game was over, Jack was exhausted. The energy in the stadium was contagious and attending a game with Craig made it even more exciting. They’d cheered and shouted until their throats were raw. Through it all, Isaac was exceptionally well behaved.

Jack and Craig remained seated as the stadium emptied. With the amount they had to carry, Jack figured it would be easier that way.

“I’ll take the diaper bag and the trash if you’ve got Isaac,” Jack said once their row was clear, and the foot traffic had died down.

“Deal.”

The diaper bag traded hands. Jack collected their trash. He led the way from the aisle and back to the steps leading inside. Craig followed.

“What are the plans now?” Craig asked.

“We make the drive home to Dekalb. Once we get in, we get Isaac settled, then we call it a day? I’m pretty exhausted.”

“I am, too,” Craig said. “Why don’t we stay in Charlotte for the night? I’ll spring for a hotel room.”

Jack looked over his shoulder, surprised. They entered the stairwell and started their descent toward the ground floor. “You want to stay at a hotel when you’ve got Isaac with you?”

“Yeah. Why not?” They took the stairs slowly for Isaac’s sake. “I’m tired, you’re tired. After driving another three hours, you’re not going to want to have to deal with getting Isaac settled. Why don’t we get a room here, get him settled quickly, then use that extra time to get some shuteye?”

“I…” It was a good plan, but it made Jack uncomfortable. During the game it was easy to forget the things Craig made him feel, but if they shared a hotel room?

“We’re supposed to be having a good time, right?” Craig asked. “And neither of us have anywhere to be tomorrow, unless I’m mistaken. Why don’t we call it a night? We can get on the road early tomorrow morning, if you want.”

Jack couldn’t argue. Turning Craig down would be a little too suspicious. They were friends. Friends did things like crash with each other. It wasn’t a big deal.

“Okay,” Jack said. “Let’s get Isaac in the car, then we can look around for somewhere to stay. What do you think?”

“I think that sounds perfect.” Craig beamed. The time out really had done wonders to refresh his spirit. The look in his eyes was worth it. No matter what Jack felt for Craig, he was determined to help Craig feel more comfortable as a father.

Being a dad didn’t mean he had to give up on life. Craig needed time to adjust.

They made it to the car and strapped Isaac in. Once they were both settled in the front seats, Craig took out his phone and started to search for local hotels. While he did, Jack rested. He wondered if he should ask for separate rooms or if it’d come across as rude.

It’d probably be less rude than if he woke up and found I had a massive erection because of him.

Jack scrubbed at his eyes. He was torn.

Craig tapped at his phone screen. “Well, there’s a hotel not all that far from here. It’s not a chain, but the reviews are all glowing. According to the booking site there are still rooms available for tonight. Thoughts?”

“Sounds good to me,” Jack said. “I’m not fussy. Any room will do.”

“Then this one it is,” Craig said. “Do you want me to book it now, or do you want to ask for a room when we walk through the doors?”

“Book it now if you can.” Jack didn’t want to have an awkward conversation about how many rooms they were getting in front of the clerk. This way it was predetermined. Craig would decide his fate. “Wanna give me the address so I can plug it into my phone and get directions?”

Craig rattled off the address. Jack input it into his Google Maps and let his phone calculate the route. It wasn’t far at all. The drive looked easy.

“All right,” Jack said. “You ready?”

“Yup.”

“You ready, Isaac?” Jack asked.

There was no response.

“Great. Then let’s go.” Jack backed out of his spot and took the drive through the parking lot carefully. While he drove, Craig finalized their hotel reservations.

“Booked,” Craig said. “Here’s hoping it doesn’t get lost in some nebulous part of cyberspace. It’s a pretty tight amount of time between booking and showing up at the lobby.”

“We’ll be fine,” Jack said. “Even if we have complications, we’ll get them figured out.”

They turned onto the street. Jack directed them toward the hotel.

“Thanks again,” Craig said as they drove. “I didn’t think I’d have a good time out, but you proved me wrong.”

“I know a thing or two about kids,” Jack said. “But I also know a thing or two about parents. Everyone needs a break. I’m glad we got to go out and do something for you.”

Craig smiled. The mood between them grew electric once more. A tingling feeling traveled up Jack’s arms and down his spine. He wished he could turn it off.

“You’re a good friend, Jack.”

“Thanks,” Jack said.

He wished he was something more.

The hotel room was spacious and well furnished. There were two queen-sized beds instead of one king. Jack could deal with that. Sharing a bed with Craig was pushing the limit.

“You want to order something for dinner?” Craig asked. He set the car seat on the entertainment system table and freed Isaac from within. Isaac’s tiny fingers clung to Craig’s shoulders, and he looked at Jack with his baby blues. Jack smiled and waved.

“Like what?” Jack asked.

“I’m not fussy. Pizza? Chinese? Sushi?”

“We could do pizza.” Jack flopped down on the bed. “There’s a good place not all that far from here. I wonder if they do delivery.”

“You know Charlotte?” Craig asked.

Jack lifted his head and smirked. “Well, there aren’t a lot of dating prospects in Dekalb. When I was younger, I used to come out here to try my luck. It’s gotten a little easier with Grindr, but before that I had to explore the city on my own. It led to a few good pizza places.”

“Oh.” Craig sounded uncomfortable. Jack had pushed the line. Jack didn’t think that Craig was homophobic but talking about hooking up probably didn’t sit well with him.

“It was a long time ago,” Jack added quickly. “I was in a committed relationship for a long time. I stopped going out.”

“I mean, it’s still early, you know?” Craig sounded awkward. He wouldn’t face Jack. “If you want to go out and hit the town, you can. We’ve got a whole night ahead of us. Isaac and I will be okay here on our own.”

Was Craig trying to be nice, or was Craig telling him to get the hell out because he was uncomfortable? Jack rolled onto his side. It felt like he’d made a huge mistake.

“Oh, I mean, it’s okay. Going to the game has me wiped.” Jack hoped he could recover some goodwill between them. “Charlotte’s nice and all, but if I really want to, I can come back some other time.”

“You’ve been single for a while, right?” Craig still wouldn’t look at him. It broke Jack’s heart.

“Yeah. Probably close to six months.”

“Then you deserve to get out and have some fun,” Craig said. “Go enjoy yourself. Just because you’re hosting me doesn’t mean you have to share my responsibilities. You’re not here often so you might as well enjoy yourself.”

The longer the conversation went on, the clearer it became that Craig wanted him to leave. Jack sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. He wished he’d kept his mouth shut.

“Do you want me to order the pizza before I go?” he asked. “I mean, I can eat it cold, I don’t mind.”

“Nah. I’ll find something on my phone. I’ll save you some if you want, but if you want to eat out that’s no big deal, either. We can always take home the leftovers.”

Jack couldn’t read the emotion in Craig’s voice. Was it sorrow? Thinly veiled disgust? Awkwardness?

Jack gave up trying to understand. He stood and patted his back pocket to make sure he had his wallet and phone.

“I’ll, um, I guess I’ll go then,” Jack said. He didn’t want to, but he knew that Craig needed his space. Jack had gone and stuck his foot in his mouth. The less he talked about being gay, the better. “Have a good night, okay? I won’t be out too late.”

“Whatever you’d like.” Craig’s words were strained. “Isaac and I will sleep through you coming in, I’m sure.”

God, did he feel awkward. Jack rounded the bed and approached the door. His gut told him to get out and give Craig his space, but his heart urged him to stay. He wanted to fix things, but he didn’t know how.

“See you.” Jack opened the door.

Craig didn’t say goodbye as he stepped out and closed it.

What the hell had he done?

Jack took off down the hallway. He walked faster than he had reason to. What a terrible handful of minutes. Things had gone sour between them so quickly that Jack didn’t know what to make of it.

He wasn’t going to go out. Not tonight. Not only was he exhausted from the game, but he was in no mood to meet up with anyone. The party scene was too high energy and enthusiastic for him. He needed time to lick his wounds.

Jack never thought he could mess up with a man so quickly.

He made it down to the hotel lobby and took a seat in one of its comfortable armchairs. Without anything on him, all he could do was play games on his phone. As the minutes ticked by, the sick feeling in his stomach faded. Jack wondered what he should do next.

Spending all night in the lobby wasn’t an option, but neither was going out. He wanted to return to the hotel room, but he also wanted Craig to cool off a little before he did that.

In the end, he returned to his cell phone games and decided that he’d give it an hour.

If Craig was receptive, they could talk it out and set some boundaries. If he wasn’t, they could call it a night and then never speak about what had happened again. Jack thought that was fair in an unfair kind of way. He didn’t like having to censor who he was for anyone, but he was weak for Craig.

No matter what, they’d work it out. Jack wouldn’t always feel embarrassed, and Craig wouldn’t always feel disgusted. And really, as long as they could move on, Jack thought they still had a shot at making their friendship work.

They got along better than Jack had with any man he’d ever been with before, after all. It would be a shame to give up such a good friendship because of a social gaffe.

A shame, but not an impossibility. Jack knew the world was cruel. He hoped for the best and braced himself for the worst.

More often than not, it was the worst he had to endure.