Going Forward Prt 2

Since we made it clear to our pack that bloodlines shouldn’t be a shameful secret but something to celebrate, many have come forward to profess their childhood sins of being mixed breeds. All in all, only about forty percent of the Santos can trace their blood truthfully through Lycan only. Another lie we were force-fed all these years by Juan and his stupid ideals. It’s been refreshing to see them embrace their true selves and no longer hide hidden gifts from their own kind. It seems we have so many talented among us with unusual abilities that may not always be useful but are what makes them unique. No longer afraid to admit that they aren’t only Lycan.

“Steak it is.” Meadow pipes up, getting us back on track, and notes something down on the clipboard she’s been carrying. “I’ll tell the kitchen to prepare a carnivore's feast. I’m sure blood-sucking leec…….” She stops talking when she catches my serious eye on her and swallows a little hesitantly. Not amused at her slip to insults concerning my father. “Chica, no offense, but I mean, it’s what they do.” She points out, and I shake my head at her with a small affectionate smile, inwardly sighing because she’s not wrong. I’m too sensitive today because of how uptight this meeting is making me. My nerves are all on edge, and I haven’t been able to eat today.

“Not all of those with vampiric blood.” I tap my chest and wink at her before returning to fixing the floral décor in the middle of the huge table. Letting it go and exhaling slowly to relieve some pent-up stress.

“True. I’ll stop talking.”

It sometimes worries me if my unborn will have tendencies I have never experienced. Nothing is certain, and I have no idea if these babies will follow the norm and be more Lycan than anything else. Being twins, I’m not sure if that will affect things but looking at Domi and Remi, who are almost identical in every way with dominant Lycan DNA, maybe I am worrying for nothing. If Lycan vampire mixes had both traits, we would have heard of it by now.

“What’s with the dress? Aren’t you all combat pants and vest tops lately? The Lana Lane of the wolf world.” Meadow’s eyes and attention are on Carmen now, as a subject change, appraising the feminine look of today, and it’s only then I spot the minimal makeup and that her hair has been styled differently. She’s put in more than the usual effort.

“No reason.” She flippantly waves a hand at us and starts adjusting chairs around the table, avoiding Med’s eye. She’s also more closed up and secretive than normal. Less chatty, and it piques my interest. Wondering if this is a tactic to get Jasper to notice her.

“I mean, I’m not against using your feminine wiles and assets to get your man to pay attention. If you need any pointers….” Meadow is all over that in an instant and stops in her tracks when Carmen flicks flower vase water at her in warning to stay away.

“I don’t. And it’s not for him. I’m tired of looking like a beat-up tomboy who has lost all sense of her image lately. I have more pride than looking like a half-baked, decrepit floor broom that’s been used to death and discarded in the dust.”

“And she’s back. Welcome home, Carmenella!” I pat her on the head with a huge grin and my annoying pet name for her, throwing my arm around her shoulder casually as I come to stand beside her. She exhales heavily, displaying minor irritation at my obvious glee, and continues adjusting seats.

Carmen moping and being weird and distant these past few days was starting to bother me. I guess she needed some ‘her’ time to pull herself back together and process all that’s happened these few weeks. We all have. Working on the manor and the valley simultaneously. Overseeing, organizing, and repairing bonds with our fractured pack has been cathartic but emotionally exhausting. It’s only been a week since the battle that night, but it feels like we have achieved a month's work.

“About time too, Chica. I know you can’t outrun the imprint, but I’m glad you are seemingly back to being the cold and arrogant biatch I used to love to hate.” Meadow flicks her in the forehead with precision, swings her clipboard up, and bops her on the head with it softly before swaggering off with a naughty smile. Knowing sticking around will get some physical retaliation now Carmen is no longer afraid to put Meds in her place.

“I still loathe her.” Carmen snorts and crosses her arms across her chest sulkily. I laugh at both, knowing that’s the furthest from the truth it could be. They have a love-hate relationship that’s warm underneath, and I know either one would sacrifice themselves to save the other. Neither can admit they are sisters now and friends. Denial is what I expect for the rest of their lives.

“So, noon? Are you nervous?” Carmen turns the conversation back to what we are preparing for, and I let her go. Shrugging in a non-committal way as I return to prepping the room and focusing on imaginary dust particles I need to remove. My gut has been like a washing machine all morning, and I have been trying to ignore the chaos of internal feelings for a week.

“Hmmm,” I answer in a bland tone and move the flowers for the fifth time today. Using Carmen’s method of nonchalance.

“Signing a treaty is enough pressure, I guess, but knowing you have to work out a future relationship with your father must be messing with your head. Given what he is and who.” Carmen has the sense to let me wander off without following. Focusing on straightening pots on the side table instead.

“I’m going to take it one step at a time. Let things develop naturally once the treaty is dealt with. Colton told me not to rush into any plans and throw myself into trying to bond with him. Just take it as it comes. That’s what I’m going to do.”

“Yeah. A bond like that may take years to grow, given the dramatic rollercoaster story behind all this. He doesn’t get to step into the daddy shoes because things are clear now. He has to earn your trust.” Carmen pauses, looks around, seemingly sensing something, and then shifts further away to rearrange plants along the wall units. I pause to watch her and then wave it off as nothing.

“Time will tell. I won’t reject him. I won’t stop him from contacting me or seeing these two when they are born. I think it’s one of those things that can’t be fixed with a meeting and put to rights overnight. I don’t even know him or anything about him.”

“Getting over what he is will be your first hurdle and his part in the wars of the last two decades.” She throws me an empathetic smile.

“Yeah…. enough about that, though. What are you doing about my brother?” I know I shouldn’t ask, as she normally clams up and pretends she doesn’t care, but it’s driving me insane seeing no progress.

“Nothing. It’s all on him. I’m tired of marching to the beat of other people’s drums. Chasing and always ending up alone. He knows where I am, and if he never finds his way to me, I’m not going to stop living and hold my breath. I can have a future without a mate. There’s plenty to do here, and who knows, maybe I can date casually whenever I have an urge that needs fulfilling.”