Chapter 89 Chapter 89

Chapter 89 Chapter 89
“Sit down, you two.” Kira shook her head. “Leave some for the other students.”

As everyone dug into the breakfast feast, I reached for a hot cup of coffee and poured some sugar into it. My stomach was in knots, and I had a feeling I wouldn’t be able to keep anything down with my nerves. 

As I looked around the table, the realization that I was putting all of them in danger struck me once again, and I had to take a deep breath to keep my tears at bay. 

If whoever planted that dagger under my pillow had such easy access to my room, who is to say that they wouldn’t harm anyone next time? How was I supposed to keep my friends safe if I didn’t even know where the danger was coming from?

I was so focused on my own paranoia that I didn’t notice the coffee in my mug boiling until it spilled over the table, almost burning Kira’s hand.

“Wow, there, firecracker.” She grabbed some napkins and started wiping the hot liquid off. “What was that?” She gave me a quizzical look.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.” I let out in a whisper that sounded more like a scream around our silent table.

I knew that my fire element was a little out of control lately, but this was just bizarre. I didn’t even feel the spark of magic that usually traveled through me when I summoned an element, not to mention that I didn’t summon anything; my fire just exploded in the form of boiling coffee. 

Was I so out of it that I didn’t even realize I was willing my fire out? Or was this a sign that my main element was more volatile than I knew? I sighed, more and more questions bombarding my head every second. 

I did not need to worry about this, too; I had enough on my plate already.

“Great, we’re about to go to war, and little miss crazy over there can’t even practice proper magic control. How does anyone expect her to graduate, let alone fight with us?” As expected, Gianna had to chime in with her usual uplifting comments.

On reflection, I looked to my right to face my cousin and made the mistake of glancing at Ivan. His eyes held concern, his head tilted to the side as if he was about to ask if I was okay. And maybe he was, but before he had the chance to, I grabbed my belongings and stood up.

“I’m going to head out,” I said to Kira and Rose.

“But you haven’t eaten anything,” Rose pointed out.

“I’m not hungry.”

I walked out of the cafeteria and back into the cold morning, my head swimming with so many different concerns I couldn’t even begin to sort them out. 

I took a deep breath and flexed my fists, opening and closing them repeatedly as if willing all the tension in my body to leave through them. I leaned against a wall, savoring the few seconds of solitude before the battles, when his voice broke through the haze.

So much for some peace.

“Hey, Lilith.” Holden stood in front of me, clad in his usual all-black attire, his messy hair swaying with the wind. His grey eyes took in my face, concern flashing through them before disappearing again. 

Sometimes when I looked at him, I wondered why we couldn’t work. Why couldn't I let go of the memory of times past and give him a chance to win me over? 

Then I would remember that he was a stalking, manipulative liar, and I would get over all the ‘what ifs’.

“Holden.” I sighed, already eager to get this conversation over with.

“How are you?” He asked, his voice flat and his tone indicating that he didn’t really care despite the smile on his face.

“I’ve been better.” I pushed myself off the wall and started to walk away. “I don’t have time to talk right now, so…”

I didn’t get the chance to finish my sentence before he grabbed my arm and stopped me from leaving.

“Can we please stop this game now?” his look of concern slowly morphed into his usual glare, and I nodded slightly to myself. There’s the Holden I know and… don’t care for.

“What game exactly?”

“The one where you pretend you don’t want me, but deep down you like the chase.” He smirked. “I get it, alright?”

“First of all,” I said as I snatched my arm out of his strong hold. “I am not pretending. This isn’t a game, and I don’t want you to chase me, so get over yourself.” 

I matched his glare with one of my own. “And second of all, don’t ever grab me like that again.”

Apparently, my warning fell on deaf ears because the second I stopped talking, he grabbed my arm again.

“He has a girlfriend, Lilith.” He seethed, no doubt referring to Ivan. “So, why don’t you stop acting like a little whore and come back to the only person who ever gave a damn about you?”

Well, I didn’t appreciate his tone.

It didn’t take much focus or energy for me to summon the fire that was brewing right under the surface of my skin. Holden’s words hurt, probably more than he intended them to, but most of all, I had enough of him manhandling me and throwing me around like a rag doll. 

The temperature of my skin started rising, the fire rushing through my veins like lava, and soon enough, it started burning whatever was touching me, mainly his clammy hands.

“I said, don’t ever grab me like that again.”

Holden hissed out loud, jerking his hand away as it burned him –which it did- and jumping away from me. Through the haze of magic that enveloped my brain, I could see the bright red skin of his palms sizzling and starting to scab over.