Chapter 51--LOOKING FOR A WAY

My twin sisters were growing really fast and they were not troublesome babies, so it was easier for mom to take care of them. Not really easy, as she had to combine babysitting with work and other chores, but it was not too hard because her babies didn't cry too much. They smiled and slept most of the time. My mom said, that was how I was too as a baby, except that I didn't produce tears at all. They did, they had tears in their eyes; they only didn't shed it often. They were so much fun to watch.

Mom designed a crib for them with the name:"Pamela and Jamie" and they looked so cute in their cots. I still went to Dr Brown's but staring at my baby sisters were as therapeutic as talking to Dr Brown. Whenever I stared at them, I just wanted them to grow up faster, walk and be as tall as I was, so that we'd play together and discuss girl things while cuddling up in my bed.

Whenever I looked at Jamie, the blond one, I always saw a mixture of beauty and pain because I knew her future. It was so weird knowing how your little sister is going to grow into, and where she'll end up, and it was even more unsettling to know that that place was not a good place to be. What was even the most unsettling was the fact that you didn't know how to change her story. I knew that if it turned out that I'm not able to change my sister's story, then, I'd live in guilt for the rest of my life. She depended on me. She was just a little baby who didn't even know what life was, yet. The other baby, Pamela was also full of life but I did not know her future. I wish I hadn't known Jamie's too. Because if I didn't know and it happened that her abductor came and took her away, then, we'd accept it in good faith, and find a solution for her. I wished I had obeyed Joe's instructions. He had warned me not to use the pouch by showing me its power. But I was stubborn. No, maybe overly curious. If you were in my shoes, wouldn't you be curious to know your future or your sister's future as well? it was fascinating to try but now I regret it so much

Don't blame me, I already blame myself enough. Maybe it was my fate to bear my sister's burden and find her a way out of her distressed future. Maybe I was meant to be her saviour. It could have been destiny, but why did destiny put that in my hands? I was just a little girl. I was super smart, yeah but that kind of task required much more than humanly smartness and intelligence. I needed help; I needed support; I needed superhuman powers. I loved my sisters too much or maybe it was mom I loved more, but the thing was, I really cared. It'd break mom to lose her eight or nine-year-old little girl. It'd break her into pieces. I didn't think she'd ever be able to pick her pieces. She had already lost too many babies before them.

So, I think I chose my fate because of mom. I did it for her. I was determined to save her baby but I didn't want to lose myself in the process. Joe did warn me not to seek help from werewolves because I'd be badly hurt. What did he expect me to do then? Cross my hands and watch that happen?

The only thing I wanted to focus on was this particular task, but what was the whole thing about that young man asking me to do a research? Said I was gaining recognition, I was smart and fit to do the job? What did he mean, fit to do the job? The man looked smart himself, why couldn't he do the research on his own? Or hire a older person, a computer geek? What business did I have with him? I've never met him in my life, and what's the excitement in mom's voice all about? Yes, he was going to pay me a lot of money for the job, but did mom know what job it was? I wondered how mom became kind of shallow those days. Ever since she put to bed and returned to work, she rarely had time for me. Yes, she lulled me to sleep and gave me instructions but there was no long communications. Her babies, her work and her boyfriend, Jack took most of her time.

I didn't blame her, at all. I never did, because she felt bad for it everytime. It was Cameron I blamed. She cried herself to sleep most nights, talking to Jack on phone.

"I'm tired, Jack. I can't do this anymore. I'm worn out" she would always tell him, crying. This was usually hours after making sure her three daughters were sound asleep. I wasn't always asleep because I wanted to be sure she was fine. I always pretended to be.

She tried, she tried her best to be there for me all the time but at the end of the day, she was already worn out and couldn't make a real conversation with me. I think what she needed was assistance. She got no assistance from her husband and for some reason, she didn't want anyone else to do it for her. Anyone outside her marriage. Not even Mike Tony. She didn't like it when Mike cooked for me. Or helped me bathe. She was not totally okay with him driving me to school as well but she still accepted that.

Jack was too busy and she in fact didn't want us to be involved together yet because I was a child of another man and because we were still under 'my father's' roof. So, it was hard for her. She got no help from her mother's side--i mean she didn't have a mother anymore, she also didn't have a cordial relationship with her sisters. The mystery of that is what I was yet to find out. She didn't know her father, and she married the wrong man. Everything was all wrong. So you see why I wouldn't blame her for keeping a boyfriend even while married. She needed some succour and assurance that her existence was important.

Mom had tried committing suicide twice but she was unsuccessful in both attempts. Anytime she felt like doing it again, she'd pray to God to save her, and then she'd look at me and then change her mind. That was before the twins.

"She isn't going to be left alone in this cold world. I'll wait behind. Whatever it takes, I'll keep going, for her" she had said to herself. You wonder how I knew? I made researches a lot and I could read mom's mind to an extent. I mean, mind reading in its actual entirety. I didn't think it's a thing, that's why I've not been vocal about this because it was only mom's mind I could read. I couldn't read any other person's mind, so I can't call that a superpower, can I?

These were my thoughts that day as I prepared for school. It was the day the two winners eligible for the competition would be announced and tested in my school. Like I said, I was too sure that I'd be one. I had my bath on my own, ate the breakfast mom prepared and looked my best, as I packed my schoolbag. I was deliberately delaying even though I knew Mike was already out in the parking lot waiting for me with his truck. I wanted him to be late for work and leave without me. No one knew I had been boarding commercial taxis to school and taking the school bus back after what happened with Mike. Mom didn't know because I didn't tell her and i didn't let it show. I just couldn't stand sitting in the same truck with him after that time. It was more of anger than fear. I didn't want him to touch me or drive me to school anymore. Even though he apologized, I still didn't accept his apology. I wanted to make him realize he greatly offended me.

Of course mom would have noticed if I showed any repulsive behavior towards him, but i masked it. I didn't want mom probing further because I was not ready to talk about it to anyone. I pretended to be happy whenever he came by to say hello, like he usually did. It was not easy pretending to be okay but i kept doing it. On that day, Mike came to our living room, again after mom had left, to convince me to go with him.

The thing was, before mom left for work, she usually made sure i sat in Mike's truck and was ready to go to school. So I did just that and waved at her as she zoomed off to work, but as soon as her car was out of sight, I jumped down the truck and ran inside the house, locked it from behind and shouted at Mike to leave me alone. He did try pulling me back one time, but i yanked his hands off me.

On this day, few days to the camp, I did the same thing and went back to my room yelling at him through the window.

"Go away!" I yelled

"Ariana, you'll be late for school. Please...

"I don't care! Go away!!" I yelled the more. He stood by my window and even though my curtains were drawn down, he still stood there, pleading with me

"No, I have to take you to school today. It's risky for a little girl to take commercial taxis on her own, or walk alone to school. It's risky, Ariana"

"Just leave me alone. Stop caring about me" I was badly hurt. Even me felt really bad with the weight of my words. I felt bad for yelling at the only man that had ever shown me love since I was born. But I was angry and very hurt. So I kept shouting at him to leave me alone. I did not only avoid touching him, i didn't want to see him even; it was that bad. He was the reason I felt bad for leaving Kangaroo Estate initially, now he was one of the reasons i so badly wanted to leave.

"I can't leave you, Ariana. I'm going to have to tell your mom that you don't let me pick you up anymore" he said, sounding frustrated. There was an upsetting tone in his voice. Why did he do it? Why?

"And if she asks you why, don't forget to tell her what you did to me!" I yelled. Thankfully no other neighbour was around. That was one of the reasons I avoided him more. He could do anything to me if nobody was around, or so i thought.

"Ariana, I'm sorry" he pleaded. But I couldn't just erase the memory. I cried and kicked my shoes and my clothes around my room and knocked my fist on my desk several times. It hurt so much that i had to stop it already. I sat on my floor and cried my eyes out. No tears flowed but I was crying. I wished I wasn't born. I cursed the day I was born. Mike stayed there until i stopped crying. He refused to leave and i was running late for school. I sat there and ransacked my stuff, my camp stuff that mom already packed for me.. Mom had already begun preparing me for the camp three days before . For some reason, she was skeptical about letting me go. I was going to live without her for seven days. It'd be torturous but I was ready to go, if only to avoid Mike and find a way to save Jamie there. I went out of the house and ran into the streets to catch a taxi but Mike caught up with me, carried me on his shoulders and gently placed me in his truck, then he hurriedly locked it up. As he drove me to school, he kept talking to me but I did not even look at him. My heart was beating so fast as he spoke. It didn't stop until he dropped me off at school.

At school, I and one other girl from Anita's class were announced the winners of the training. It was not surprising to me-the fact that I was a winner and the fact that she was a winner as well; I knew Vera to be a very smart chap as well In fact, her score had been the highest after the training, that was because I deliberately picked some wrong answers and misbehaved. Still I made it to the top two. Her name was Vera, and she was the vamp in Anita's class. Very wild, assertive and creative

We were mounted on the podium in the school hal after lunch break and the final intra school competition began. Many questions were asked from us which included spelling bee, arithmetic and statistics questions, grammar, introductory technology, business affairs, science and puzzles in order to choose the final winner, the representative we needed in the competition. This time around, Robinson had made me promise to perform well. So I did as he wished, especially as I realized that the answers and help i so badly needed was in his hands. I had to co-operate. And for some reason, I started to think that Uncle Robinson wanted me to represent the school because I was not a vampire. But was I superhuman?

After two hours of drilling, I emerged the winner. Vera was mad. She didn't even hide her anger, she claimed that the results of the scores were rigged and that I was chosen because my father was popular, and because her own father was not known. I knew how she so badly wanted to be a representative of her school. She wanted to win prizes and possibly hook up with the boys from the other schools, like Nicole, Nick and Matthew. They were three boys from three different schools who represented their schools. She walked up to me after the results were announced and everybody was dismissed, poked a finger at my face and said in the most irritable voice ever, "You! You will not get away with this. Seems you do not remember how we murdered y'all in the past, Now you're trying to prove to me that you're better. I'll start another war, watch me" she said and stumped off. I couldn't believe my ears and I really wished I could give her the opportunity to win but I was stuck in between two choices. But wait, what the hell did she mean by "we murdered y'all in the past?" What did she mean by "war"? Was there something I didn't know? First, it was Uncle Robinson, an alpha getting attracted to me. Now it's Vera the camp threatening me. Do werewolves date humans? I didn't understand any of it, and what's Vera's business with me? I was not superhuman.