Chapter 624 Chapter 624
His heart was pounding in his chest, his cat was losing his mind. He’d checked most of the building and hadn’t found Journee yet. Asher flung the exit door open and stood there. He looked in one direction of the yard, then the other. With a soft growl, he started for the far end of the building. The nearest exit to the cafeteria brought you out here. Mid-step, his cat stopped him. Asher grit his teeth. As soon as he had a moment, his cat and he were going to do some serious communication. He couldn’t have him overriding him without warning and doing shit like this. His animal settled, and Asher inhaled deeply. Journee’s scent filled the air. That tangy, sweet smell that was only hers. He turned, looked back the other way, and then looked up. She wouldn’t be on the roof—he backtracked to where the ladder was. She may not be, but he could see better from up there. He only hoped she didn’t shift without Shaelan present to make sure things went well. What if she was out in the bush, unable to return?
As he reached the top of the ladder, he heard sobbing, and he was sure his heart stopped completely at that moment. Forcing air into his lungs, he stepped onto the roof and looked to see Journee sitting near the back of the building. He didn’t want to startle her, so he made sure he made enough noise walking across the roof.
He went over and squatted beside her. “Hey,” she turned to look at him, and it felt like something was stabbed into his chest to see the tears coming from her beautiful eyes, “what’s wrong?” He glanced at her leg and wondered if that was it.
She wiped at her eyes. “I didn’t cry.” Pulling her sweatshirt up, she wiped off her face. “That whole time.” She glanced at him for a moment and then turned and looked out into the bush. “There was no time to cry. First, I had to get where they were going and not get caught.” She cleared her throat. “I was afraid—terrified, but I didn’t cry.”
Asher dropped to his knees and stayed beside her. He wanted to pull her into his arms, but he didn’t want to do anything that would make her uncomfortable. She’d been alone a long time, and he knew that sometimes contact with others did more emotional damage than staying clear. For years, if anyone had tried to touch him, his emotions would burst free—and there were times he didn’t think he’d get them sealed back inside.
“Then,” she took a shaky breath, “then I had to live on that island and try not to starve to death.” She nodded slowly but still kept her gaze on the bush. “Even after the lady started helping me, every day I spent trying to figure out how to get off the island and take my sister with me. I refused to cry. I was afraid if I started, I’d never stop.” She dropped her face into her hands and stayed that way for a moment. “Her name is not on the list.” This time she did look at him, “the man, Illias, told me. She hasn’t been found.”
He reached out and brushed the hair back from her face. “You heard them. They’re going to free more, a lot more…”
She nodded. “I know, it’s just—I should have saved her.”
All the air left Asher’s lungs at once. He had to struggle to breathe for a moment—guilt, he understood. “You were a kid,” he touched the side of her face, so he knew she was listening. “I was a kid. We couldn’t save them.”
“I know,” she nodded and made no attempt to move away from him, “I do. I know. I just,” she looked away from him. “I should have tried.”
Hearing how defeated she sounded, his chest hurt, “you made it back. We’re going to find the island because of you.” He sat down and watched her, “we may not be saving the same girls that were there when you were, Journee, but we’ll be preventing any more from being there.” He wondered exactly how they planned to do that part. When she took a ragged breath, he pushed it from his mind. That sort of thing was not his problem to solve.
“Are you coming?” She turned back to look at him, her eyes still wet with unshed tears, “to the island?”
He hadn’t really thought much about that part of it. Asher just followed orders on where to be and when. Certainly, there were many better-trained people on the teams to go on something like that. “Yes.” His mouth made the decision for him as he processed the idea.
She sighed, and her expression seemed relieved. “Good.” She gave him a slight smile, “I just, there’s something—when you’re close, I feel better.”
He opened his mouth and then shut it again before he said something stupid, something that would lead her to believe he knew what he was talking about. “That’s because of our cats.” His mouth and animal were working in tandem, overriding any thought he had today.
“Our cats?” The confusion was clear on her face.
Asher inhaled and let it out slowly, now he had to clean up their mess. “Yeah. Our cats know they’re mates, so they’re going to be—” Be what? “Difficult if they don’t know that the other is okay if we’re not near each other...”
“I thought it was you. I feel better when you talk. I trust you.” She turned and watched a cougar walk along the outside of the fence. “I don’t feel very trusting of most of the others.”
“Well,” he cleared his throat, “we are one with our animals most of the time.” He shook his head quickly. “They can go off script at times.”
“Off script?”
He kept forgetting that she’d been isolated for so long that everyday analogies or cliches meant nothing to her. They were new. “Yeah, if they’re not in agreement with something you’re doing, they try to do what they want instead.”
“Oh.” She closed her eyes and sat there for a moment like that. Asher thought she was the most beautiful thing he’d seen. Pale skin, and her lashes, with just a hint of darkness to frame her eyes when they were closed, she was mesmerizing. She opened her eyes, and the spark was back in them instead of that lost lonely look. “My cat and I are always in agreement. If it’s because they’re mates, I like you, I don’t care. I don’t have many people that I feel comfortable around.” She rolled her eyes, “Okay, I don’t know any other people.”
He realized then at that moment that he’d explained it all wrong. Maybe not wrong, but he could have done a better job. What did he know about the complexities of being mates? Nothing. He knew he’d never met anyone in their world where the animals were mates, and the other part, the human parts of them, didn’t like their ‘fated’ mate. Asher wanted to tell her this, but instead, “I’m glad,” came out of his mouth. “That you’re comfortable with me.”
How much time passed, he had no idea, but the two of them sat there, no more than a foot apart—just staring into the other’s eyes. Truth be told, he could have happily done it for the rest of the day. It wasn’t until a snowflake landed in her eye that he realized they were up on the roof with no jackets, and a sheet of snow was falling. “We should go in.” He stood up and extended his hand to her. “The women were going to pack up the kits for the teams.”
She took his hand, and his cat seemed so excited for a moment and then got very still. “The kits?”
He’d meant just to help her up, but he continued to hold her hand as they walked to the ladder. “Supplies and things needed when we’re on the road.” On the road. He’d just remembered he was being sent out with her to find the route she’d taken from the island to their clan. He let go of her hand and waited for her to start down the ladder. When she turned to do that, he panicked. He should go down first. “Hang on. I’ll go first.” He skirted around her and turned to start down it. “We don’t need you to slip and mess up your leg.”
“Shaelan is doing another,” she frowned down at him, “I can’t remember what the machine is...”
“Ultrasound?”
“That’s it. To check it.”
He stopped halfway down to reach her if she had problems. It was almost as if she didn’t have an injured leg. She got her balance and started down. The foot of her bad leg didn’t touch the rungs once. He went down a bit further and watched as she held her weight with one hand until her foot touched the next rung. She was much stronger than she looked. The incident with the rogue popped back into his head. He still had no idea how she’d gotten to him, got on his back without anyone seeing it soon enough to prevent it. What had she gone through out there on her own?
Hopping down, he reached up and lifted her down the last four rungs. Doing so off balanced her, she wobbled on her good foot while adjusting to the weight on her bad one. Carefully, he turned her in his arms. “Are you sure you don’t want the crutch still?”
“It barely hurts when I step on it.” She smiled up at him.
He knew if it had been him, he would likely still be using the crutches and be miserable about it. He cleared his throat, “has Shaelan checked out that scar? How long ago did it heal? You should have her look at it and ensure everything is healed internally.” He realized he was still holding her waist and reluctantly released her.
“She did. It doesn’t hurt anymore.” She bit her lip. “I think it’s been about a year. It was at the end of last spring because the snow was leaving.” Just then, a snowflake drifted down and landed on her eyelash again. She blinked to release it.
Last year. How long had it taken her to get back? “I don’t know how you did it.” He confessed, “Finding your way back. Not giving up.”
She shifted her feet around and braced her hand on his chest to steady herself, “I gave up. Many times.” She smiled at him, “but I still kept going.”
Asher nodded as he inhaled a deep breath through his nose. Her scent, that tangy scent, was like nothing he’d ever smelled before. He liked it. His cat really liked it. “You are incredibly brave, Journee Snow.” He leaned down, brushed his mouth over hers, and then froze and straightened up quickly. He hadn’t meant to do that. She stood there with her hand on her mouth, her eyes bright with something she didn’t understand. Stepping backward, he motioned toward the door. “Come on. I’ll take you to the girls. They can probably use a hand packing those kits.” He turned and went over to the door. He knew he was running from what just happened, and it might have been cowardly, but he needed the time to figure out why he’d just done that. Even more, why it felt so natural to do it. Asher wasn’t an affectionate person. He cared, just didn’t express it. A part of him was always going to be locked inside, and he didn’t know how to free it. The day he’d lost his family, he’d also lost many pieces of himself.