Chapter 457 Chapter 457
He looked like a giant statue standing there, his arms folded over his chest, his face hardened by whatever it was he was thinking. “I just think,” she watched his chest rise and fall, “there’s no rush to get this house finished.” The words came out in a hurried way.
That surprised her, that he would say that. “You don’t want Cooper to have his own place? Somewhere quiet he can escape all the kids and commotion in the house?” She hoped she had enough paint in the tray to finish. Not waiting for his reply, she went over and carefully moved the ladder over so she could finish the top. Then all she had to do was fill it in with the roller.
“Cooper?” he snorted, “you think Coop wants this for himself?”
She looked over her shoulder at him and then adjusted the tray on the top, so she wouldn’t wear it when she went back up. “He asked me to help him with it.”
Noah grinned, and it wasn’t necessarily a happy one, “did he actually say he was moving in here? Did he say it was for him?”
Emersyn paused her foot on the first step and looked at him. “I don’t remember his every word, but he asked for my opinions and help.”
“Uh-huh,” he shook his head, “did he pick the colors,” he waved a hand around, “or anything?”
Stepping on the ladder, she stood there. The emotions pouring off him were all over the place. Her cat was awake and telling her he needed her, and she wanted to be there for him but didn’t know if she could do that. “We picked things out together?”
Noah snorted loudly, “did he at any point say I want that?”
Frowning, she forced her legs to move, to go over to him, she made it to a few feet from him and couldn’t take that last step. “I-I don’t know.” She didn’t remember the words exchanged when they’d been going over paint colors or any of it, but Cooper had been happy with the result and that was all that mattered.
“I can’t believe he did this.” He muttered.
“Did what?” She could feel his pain now and even her cat was wary, not knowing what had happened.
Noah looked up from the floor, “this,” he swung his arm out away from his body.
It felt like it was in slow motion, a gut reflex that she’d depended on to survive this long. She put her arms beside her head and cringed from him. As soon as she’d done it, she knew she shouldn’t have.
Noah stood there with terror in his eyes, his skin blanched so whitely he looked like a ghost.
She dropped her arms and straightened slowly. “Um,” she shook her head, trying to force her breathing to return to normal.
Noah dropped down onto both knees and looked at her with unshed tears in his eyes. “I would never hurt you.” He said it with such pain that her chest tightened with emotion.
She hadn’t been raised in a clan, but she knew he was offering her the most subservient gesture he could. She raised a shaking hand to her throat, needing the physical reminder that there was no collar there. “I-I don’t know why I did that.” She shook her head, “I startle too easily and you,” she motioned to him, “you swung your arm out...”
“I shouldn’t have,” he whispered it, “I know better.”
“It-it’s late,” she nodded and took a small step, no more than an inch toward him, “we’re both tired.”
Noah dropped back on his heels and looked at her, his shoulders were slumped, hands lose in his lap. “That’s no excuse.” He closed his eyes and when he opened them, she saw the raw pain inside them, “I told them I wasn’t the right one to be here,” she watched a tear fall from his eyes and roll slowly down his cheek, and at that moment her heart felt like it broke apart, “I shouldn’t...”
She rushed to him, knowing full well that the sudden movement could have her swatted across the room and didn’t care. Wrapping her arms around his head, she hugged it against her chest, much like she would if Aspyn was upset. “Shh,” he leaned down and placed her cheek against the top of his head, “you are the only one that could help any of us, Noah.” She kissed the top of his head and didn’t care if tears were running down her face.
“I’m not.” He said in a rough voice. She felt him suck in a breath and then he touched her hips hesitantly. She was sure he was going to push her away but then he wrapped his arms around her and squeezed her, holding her close to him.
Emersyn’s breath caught in her throat, she expected the panic to hit her but instead of the tension and muscles freezing she felt something that she could only label as serenity. A small peace she’d only ever felt when she held her child, only this was different in many ways.
She loosened her grip on his head and looked down at him. When he lifted his chin, she brushed the hair back from his face. She wanted to offer him words that would ease his pain, say something that would make it be better, but there were no words in existence that could offer that, not after what they’d been through. Her hands shook as she held his head between them and leaned down and placed a kiss over one of his tear-filled eyes. The shaking was less when she repeated it with his other eye.
Noah’s grip loosened on her and then his hands clenched on her hips. His breathing was uneven when he opened his eyes and looked up at her. He searched her face, and she didn’t know what he was looking for. She could see fear in his eyes, and the pain, that was always there, but there was something else, something she didn’t recognize—
He rose until their faces were level and then he put his hand lightly on the back of her head.
She held her breath waiting for the panic to come. Her cat was right there, watchful and waiting with her. When his lips touched hers, she gripped his shoulders and closed her eyes. His lips were soft, and she could feel he was shaking as much as she was. She sucked in a breath when he lifted his mouth away. Opening her eyes, she looked to see him watching her, a careful assessment of what his actions had done. She didn’t want him to know that she was unsure, that she didn’t know what she was feeling. Putting her hand against his soft beard, she leaned back down and pressed her mouth against his. She didn’t know how to do this, but even her cat was okay with it. The gentle touch of their lips changed, it wasn’t slow or hesitant, but felt natural, like it was supposed to happen that way.
Noah released her head and placed his hand in the middle of her back, his other hand moved from her hip to rest on her waist. His touch sent heat through her, but the rise in temperature she usually felt was a warning. He tilted his head to the side, increasing the pressure of his kiss and it made her heart accelerate and a shiver moved through her. She felt lightheaded and almost dizzy but didn’t want to stop.
Without notice, he jerked his head back and looked at her. She swayed from the sudden movement and gripped his shoulders tight so she wouldn’t collapse on the floor. Her knees felt weak. He didn’t speak, he didn’t make a move to kiss her again, he just knelt there, a soft look in his eyes. It was the most intimate thing she’d ever experienced. His grip on her shifted until he was running his hands lightly up and down the side of her ribs, she could see the indecision in his eyes. Did he want to kiss her again? She couldn’t be sure, but as this was the only time in her life, she’d felt a gentle, welcome touch and closeness, she was willing to stand her just like this all night if he wanted to.