Thirty-Three

“I don’t like it when you’re hurt.” He confessed, grimacing apologetically. “It pains me.”

I smiled. “Delight shouldn’t pain you.”

He was confused, “Delight?”

“When you touch me it’s wonderful.”

“Oh.”

“You don’t like touching me?” I sounded so damn pathetic it was humiliating.

“No.”

I frowned but nodded.

“I don’t like hurting you. “He was angry as he said. “Do you know how difficult it is for me to restrain myself from killing you? And yet here you are thinking about protecting me from you. I’m the monster.”

I glared. “And how do you think I feel when I have to stop myself from touching you, afraid it might be too much for you.”

He frowned. “I care about you.”

“And you think I don’t?”

He didn’t answer.

“Wow.” I threw my hands up in despair. "Unbelievable!"

“It’s getting late.” He breathed, smiling hugely.

“Are you bipolar?”

He frowned, looking confused.

“I seriously can’t keep up with your mood swings.”

He rolled his eyes.

“How late is it?” I asked instead.

He sighed, “Midnight.”

“Ow.” I grimaced, my face falling. "Jennie got home hours ago.”

“Eat, and then we can go.”

I eat slowly. I didn’t want to leave just yet.

“You don’t want food.” He guessed.

I shook my head. “I don’t want to be away from you.” I blushed “it makes me anxious.”

“But you need to sleep.”

“I find trouble sleeping lately.” I smiled. “I’m afraid, Bradley. I don’t know if I’ll wake up and you’ll be gone.”

His answering smile was brilliant. “If it’ll help I don’t sleep either.”

“Why?”

“I can’t.”

“Ever?” I was unconvinced.

“Ever,” He smiled. “Who’s going to guard the realms of hell if demons sleep?” he joked.

I made a face, scowling.

He smiled.

“I’m done.” I mumbled in dread.

His eyes shifted their focus considerably, looking over my shoulder and thinning. I peeked behind me but Albert was already standing beside me.

“Can I get you anything else?” Albert asked.

“Just the bill thanks.” Bradley mumbled in a tight voice.

"What?" I demanded once Albert had disappeared back where he’d come from.

When he’d paid the bill we walked slowly to the car. He was silent. I felt awkward.

“That boy is overly curious.” He said. “It’s irritating.”

“Albert?

He nodded.

I frowned.

“He’s following.” He explained. “He’s hoping to warn you.”

“Does he know what you are?”

“No, but he has some insulting suspicions about what I could be.”

I didn’t know what to say.

“Maybe you should wait for him.”

I shook my head, quickening my pace. Bradley easily caught up.

Four men were surrounding his car; taking pictures. They were a couple of years older than me.

“Is this your car?” one of them asked when he noticed us – me standing at the passenger side and Bradley ready to open the door – his eyes widened when I nodded.

“But this car only comes out next summer.” He said looking at Bradley awestricken.

I shrugged and slid in the passenger seat. I knew nothing about cars anyway.

As they talked with Bradley, I relaxed and closed my eyes. I didn’t hear him get in, I only heard his chuckle.

“Albert is not very happy with me.” He mumbled.

I opened my eyes to see Albert twenty feet away looking at me in pity. The poor guy.

“What is he thinking?”

“He’s debating on whether to call the cops.” He said. “He thinks I’m going to kill you.”

“How far is he from the truth?”

His eyes narrowed. “He thinks I’m some sort of psycho; a serial killer maybe or a rapist.” he scoffed. "I'm still trying to read his soul. I'm still wondering why he would think that." He looked at me. "Is it my looks? Is it my walk?" He frowned.

I cringed. “Good thing he didn’t share this with me.” I said trying not to laugh. “It would have been rude to laugh.”

He nodded. “Indeed.”

I stared out at the dark night. I didn’t know where we were but I was afraid we were getting closer to the house.

“I wish I could read your mind.” He confessed.

“I don’t want you to know what I think about most of the time.”

“You’ll tell me, won’t you?” his voice was compelling. It was hard to deny him anything.

I shook my head. I refused to look up at his face. I knew I couldn’t be able to resist those eyes.

“Please.”

“I think about you.” I blushed.

He ran his gloved hand over my cheek.

I stilled. I couldn’t breathe. The electric tension from the restaurant was back.

I cleared my throat. “I was wondering.”

“Yes princess.”

“It’s something Benjamin said the first month I was here.”

I noticed his eyes changed at the mention of Benjamin.

“Yes.” He edged.

“Back at the hospital, when you’d feed me.” I said, glancing at him nervously. “Benjamin had asked me if I knew what that meant.”

He sighed. “You see, as much as you can’t exactly reject your mate, you still have to accept them for the bond to take place.” He looked at me as though he didn’t want to continue. I waited.

“When I feed you, I was in a way claiming you as mine – among other things” He smiled.

“Ow.”

His eyes were shrewd. “I’m sorry.”

I smiled.

“Now I’m really afraid.” He said, glancing rigidly at me. “I’m wondering how you really feel.”

I shrugged. “I feel cheated.”

“Huh?”

“You don’t want me to accept you as my…” I couldn’t say the word.

He smiled. “I do. It’s just that I wanted it to be your choice. I didn’t want you to do it inadvertently.”

He stopped the car. I looked up, surprised — of course we were already at Jennie 's house, parked a few feet from the house.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” I sighed. I didn’t want to be saying goodbye but I had no other option. My mood dropped. I wasn't on the right state to talk to anyone.

“I think it’ll be best if we both went in together.” He took a deep breath and stared through the windshield at the house.

“Why?” I asked, staring in the same direction but struggling to see in the darkness.

“Your mother is waiting for you.” He said.

I shook my head. “No.” I opened the door.

“Princess,” He breathes.

I didn’t turn to look at him. I didn’t want to make leaving the comfort of his car much harder for myself.

“Yes.”

“Have a good night.”

“I won’t be able to sleep.” I told him. I would be too busy reliving each second of today.

“Try at least.”

Try; that I could do.

“What will you do tonight?”

He smiled. “My mother and I are going hunting.”

I sighed in defeat. “Okay.” I said disappointed. He wasn’t coming tonight. It didn’t matter that I was never aware of his presence but it was thrilling in the morning to know he’d been there.

I stepped out of the car. Before I could open the front door to Jennie ’s house the door opened wide – a worried Jennie staring at me through furious eyes.

I grinned. It was so easy to forget the time and place when I was with him – nothing else mattered.

"So," Jennie said as she followed behind me up the stairs. She’d shut the door with too much force, I was surprised to see it wasn’t hanging off the hinges.

I sighed. This is one conversation I was hoping to avoid. “So what?"

"Is that the young Carter?" she asked, her pitch defiant.

“Yes mother.” I breathed, I was bored. And angry at Bradley for leaving. I just wanted to be alone. If only Jennie could read minds. She'd know I wasn't in the right mood.

“What were you doing with him that you had to come back at two in the morning?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your concern.” I said my tone rude.

“Is that even… allowed?” her eyes were wide. “He’s my boss’s son.”

“My personal life is just that.” I said hotly. “Personal.”

She laughed humourlessly, her eyes narrowing. “I don’t like it.”

“I didn’t ask you to.” I snapped.

“Is he worth your reputation?” she was angry now, her blond waves moving in sync with her body as she marched angrily across my room.

“Jennie , get a life.” I spoke through clenched teeth. “…and stay out of mine.”

“Elizabeth Jackie White, I’m your mother and you better listen to me.”

“My mother?” I was beyond angry, tears running down my cheek. “My mother died along with my father.”

She slapped me and looked at me with so much hurt that I lost my resolve for a second.

“This is my house and for as long as you live here you’ll respect me.”

I smiled up at her, a half laugh half sob escaping my lips. “Good thing you don’t have to tolerate me much longer.”

Her face scrunched up; her eyes narrowed her lips twitched up as though she was going to growl and her eyebrows knotted together to form and uneven line. She was wearing her confused look. “What does that mean?”

“Does it matter?” I sighed.

“It does.” She said, “I care about you.”

“Then you have such a funny way of showing it.” I said. "I hate the way you've become. You walk around here like a zombie. No matter what I do or say you just treat it like I just brought you your favourite ice cream. Mothers don't do that. This is the first reaction I've gotten from you since dad passed away."

“All I ever did was to protect you.”

“To protect me?” I was both surprised and angry. “When the kids at school bullied me, that’s when I needed protection, when I was almost raped…” I sighed. “Mom, that’s when I needed protection, and now that I’m in love you want to protect me?” I shook my head in disbelief. "You never had any motherly instincts. You miscarried at six months because you didn't take care of yourself. My sister would be twelve years old. Jennie , I can never forgive you for that."

“I was protecting you from me.” She mumbled. “Miles gave you what I knew I could never give you. You needed someone; I was just an alcoholic, drinking my sorrows away. I wasn’t in the best condition to raise a child. I would’ve destroyed you, made you miserable.” I thought I saw her eyes cloud with a layer of tears. "And I'm sorry about Skylar. You're right. It’s my fault she's gone."

I didn’t answer.

“Beth, you know nothing about love.”

“Don’t patronize me mother.”

“You’re too young.”

I smiled. “As far as true love goes he is it.”

She left my room without a word. She was running. Whenever something was too much for her she fled. Hence why she never finished anything.

I didn’t even bother changing into my pyjamas. I sat cross-legged on my chair watching the dark sky torpidly drift into dawn. At six in the morning I heard Jennie get ready for work. She took less time in the bathroom; I knew that she was avoiding me. She didn’t want me to wake up while she was still here.

She was not my favourite person at the moment either. I showered hastily and dressed just as swiftly in brown spaghetti straps and shorts. It was strange how butterflies kept mauling against the ramparts of my stomach, Goosebumps raised on the length of my arm. I couldn’t wait to see Bradley today. I knew I could tell him anything without judgement. I knew I could trust him. His mere presence would definitely make me feel alright. I could forget anything when he looked into my eyes, his brilliant smile would brighten my day.