The Hate For My Kids

Chapter Fifty Six

Bella’s POV

I loved my family with all my heart. And they loved me. But the moment I held my children in my arms, I knew I could not stay with them forever, knew it with soul-crushing certainty.Jordan and Jemima were Erik’s. Dark eyes, thick black hair.

For everyone in the Heavens they’d always be Fchikdfrn do the dragon, always the result of something horrid, born out of something shameful, something dark. But for me they were the most beautiful creation I could imagine. They were utter perfection.

Twins like my sister and me. They would lift each other up, make each other stronger like my sister and I had done when we were younger and still did. It would be us against the world. It couldn’t be any other way.

Gabriel stayed with me in the hospital after the birth while Mom went home for a few hours of sleep after twenty hours at my side during labor. Gabriella eyes were kind and loving as they looked down at me, but these tender emotions vanished as soon as he turned toward my children sleeping in their cradle. He wasn’t doing it on purpose, but my children reminded him of something he and everyone else were desperate to forget

.

And how could he not be reminded when my twins looked like Erik ?

My heart ached fiercely when I looked at them, throbbing with a longing I’d tried to bury with the memories of Erik, but Erik wasn’t a man that could be forgotten.

Not easily, not quickly, not ever.

Two days after giving birth, Mom and Gabriel carried my twins into the house because I still had trouble lifting anything heavier than a glass of water. The family had come together for the occasion, but I knew it wasn’t to celebrate. Dad and Uncle probably needed to discuss how to keep my children a secret.

The high ranking officials knew. They had to for the sake of the Heavens. Rapheal did, but I hadn’t talked to him since the day Belsa had been promised to him.

Gabriel held my arm while his other carried the baby carrier. Walking the stairs was more than a little uncomfortable, and I was glad when I finally arrived inside our house.

V my aunt came toward me and hugged me gently. She and Uncle were still trying for child number three, but so far it wasn’t working. She peered down at my babies with a soft smile.

“They are beautiful,Bella.”

“They are,” I agreed.

Gabriel and Dad exchanged a look, and it felt like a stab in the heart because when they looked at my children they saw the black hair and dark eyes and nothing more.

They saw Erik. They saw shame and guilt. Would they ever allow my babies to be more than the greatest failure in the history of the Heaven’s?

Belsa rushed down the staircase followed by my Aunty’s kids while showed less enthusiasm than the girls as he sauntered down the steps, rolling his eyes

.

Belsa stopped beside me and Gabriel, looking down at Jemima sleeping soundly in the carrier. I’d noticed that Gabriel had insisted on carrying Jemima, not Jordan , but I tried not to put too much meaning into it. Belsa hadn’t been allowed in the hospital because we didn’t want to draw too much attention to us, and her eyes were wide in surprise.

“Wow,” she breathed. “I’ve never seen hair that black.”

She’d never seen Erik.

Anna nodded as she lightly brushed a finger over Jordans head. His eyes peeled open and as always when they did, my breath lodged in my throat. Dark eyes. Erik’s eyes. Even at two days old, my boy was his father.

Dad averted his eyes, brows pulling tight, and looked at my uncle with an expression that tore me cleanly in half.

Myyy aunt squeezed my shoulder and leaned in. “It takes time,Nina . Give them time. One day they will see your babies as what they are: only yours.”

I nodded, but deep down I knew Jordan and Jemima would never only be mine because they were also Erik’s , and nothing could change that. And I didn’t want it to.

The next day, I was cradling Jemima in my arm while Jordan rested on the sofa beside me, deep asleep when uncle came in. He strode toward us, his eyes flickering over my children. His expression didn’t give anything away, and I wondered if it was because he didn’t resent my twins like everyone else or if he was too good at hiding his true feelings

.

He sank down in the armchair across from me, opening his jacket so it didn’t wrinkle. He gave me a tense smile. “How are you?”

I stroked Jemimas cheek before I looked up again. “Good.”

He nodded. “I know things aren’t easy for you,Bella . It was never meant to be like this. I’ve wanted to talk to you for a while ...” He trailed off, his expression tightening

. “But I’m not in the habit of justifying my actions, nor apologizing.”

I frowned. “You are a strong leader”

“I am, but that doesn’t make me infallible.” He paused.

“I think you should know that when Erik kidnapped you, your father would have handed over his territory to save you. I didn’t allow it. And Gabriel attacked the mansion without my permission because I wouldn’t have allowed it. I’m not a man who answers to another’s demands. I refuse to be blackmailed. I have to think of the Heavens.”

“I know and I understand, Uncle.” Then I paused.

“But in the end you gave Utopia to Erik.”

Something dark and furious flashed in my uncles eyes.

“I did. Because I’m not only an arch Angel . I’m a father. I’m your uncle. This is my family, and I owe it protection. I owed you protection and I failed.”

He lowered his gaze to my children.

“You’ll have to live with the consequences of my decisions.”

I shook my head. “Those decisions gave me my children, and that’s not something I could ever regret.”

My uncle got up and touched my shoulder. Then he traced his index finger over Jemimas head before he turned. Like Gabriel and Dad, he had a harder time looking at Jordan than at my daughter. I peered down at my son and took his little hand in mine, and not for the first time I wondered what Lord Erik would see when he saw them.