Ch 59

Ch 59
But Iris was no dupe. As soon as they arrived at the castle, she slipped into the study where the two alphas were gathered, kissed Ian on the cheek and grabbed her husband's hand, claiming she was absolutely exhausted and that Eden hadn't minded them leaving before dinner.
“What's the meaning of this?" Ian asked his wife inquisitively. 
“I needed to have another chat with Jasper. Was Iris really that tired? She seemed to be doing very well, but…”
Ian shrugged his shoulders, flashing for a moment that charming little smile that made Eden’s heart beat so fast.
“But what do I know about such things? I'm only an alpha, after all.”
Eden couldn't decide whether to sit or stand. 
“I met some of your friends in Worcester”
“Did you?”
 His smile faded instantly and concern invaded his face.
“He can read my mood changes in seconds," Eden mused. 
“ i wish I could read him as easily as he reads me."
“Lady Framingham and Lady Frederica. They both seemed very surprised that you were married. They noticed my condition and were astonished that we should have known each other... for several months already. They haven't seen the notices in the papers.”
“Ah…” Ian sat down on the corner of his desk and looked pensively at Eden.
 “I thought you trusted me, Eden," he said simply.
“I do trust you.” 
Eden saw that Ian tingled at hearing her use the past tense.
“You told me there was no one. Iris, on the other hand, told me that rumors were circulating in town that you were interested in Lady Frederica.”
“That's right, although I've tried to be discreet. I'm afraid I wasn't very discreet. If Ivan hadn't died, I'd have gone to the Framlingham house and probably proposed to her," Ian explained calmly. 
“She's smart, funny, pretty and well-bred.”
“I've seen it all. You were aiming high. She's a good match for a cadet," whispered the omega in a slightly perfidious tone.
“I have money, which the Framlinghams are very interested in. Besides, Freddie is a cadet herself. I wouldn't have had any trouble being accepted.”
“And even more so since you inherited the title?”
“That's right.”
“Did you win her heart? Was it a love match?”
“Good heavens, no! We got on well together and were good friends. Love? No..” Ian looked her square in the eye.
“Haven't I told you that I've never been in love?”
“Yes, you did. And I should have asked you if you weren't already in a relationship before I married you.”
“Do you think I'm mean because I've given up on another omega?”
Ian seemed stung to the quick, as furious as Eden.
 Once again, it was his honor that interested him, and nothing else.
“I think," Eden replied slowly, "that you were ready to do anything to erase your brother's evil deed, whatever the consequences. Even if you had to deal with gossip. Even if that young girl was shocked to discover that the man she was planning to marry was married and expecting. Even if that child will soon have a father who can't love him.”
Ian’s face hardened and he remained silent.
“Are you going to write to Lady Frederica?”
The alpha shrugged, stood up and came to stand in front of Eden.
“Of course not! That would mean I'd have to explain myself. But I can assure you that Freddie is no more heartbroken than I am. And if you think that, having asked her to marry me, I would have given her up to make up for Ivan’s sins, you don't know me very well.”
“It's true, I don't know you!" exclaimed Eden. 
“I don't know anything about your life. You'll shut me away here. Today was the first time I've been allowed to go out for a while. l You refuse to invite your friends”
“You're in no way cloistered," he replied.
"It's pure effort of will that he doesn't raise his voice," Eden thought angrily. 
Ian wasn't shouting, but he was pale with anger, and his eyes blazed red with rage. 
Eden thought fleetingly that her alpha was terrifying.
Terrifying and magnificent.
“I just wanted to let you rest, and give you time to get used to your new life. Do you think it's pleasant for me to stay here alone with you, when the estate is in such a pitiful state? I had a very pleasant life before I met you: friends, another domain, lots of invitations!”
Ian plunged his hand into a desk drawer and pulled out all the name cards he'd buried there.
“Well, go back to that life!” Ian  exclaimed. 
“Go and see your friends, whom I'll never know, because I'm not worthy of meeting them! Go and look after your Warren Pit, or go to London, and go out and see those people I'd shame you with, if you dared to show me!”
What Eden was saying was absurd, and he knew it. 
But Eden loved him, and he refused to share his life with her, beyond a little tenderness and pleasant nocturnal interludes. 
Desire was one thing, but for everything else, Ian closed his door. 
Why should he open it for her? He never wanted to marry her. 
This realization was so painful to Eden who usually hid it even from herself; but today's meeting had shattered all her shields.
“Very well," replied Ian.
“ If that's what you want. I'll leave for Fosse Warren today. There's nothing here that can't wait ten days or so. Turner has my orders. He picked up the stack of invitations. 
I don't see why I should refuse them, after all.”
With that Ian headed for the door and looked back at Eden one last time.
“And please feel free to go shopping as much as you like, my dear”
Ian left the castle and his omega in a state of confusion the likes of which he'd never known, not even back when Ivan  pissed him off and rejected him. 
Eden had infuriated him, even though he knew that wasn't Eden’s aim at all.
Eden was doing everything she could to be a good wife. 
That of an alpha she didn't even have feelings for.
"Ah, is that it, you fool? You want Eden to love you. As if things weren't difficult enough as they are..."
 As his carriage set off in the direction of Moreton in the Marsh, he told himself that it would take a miracle for Eden to fall in love with him.
Eden had loved his brother and been so utterly betrayed. 
Why would she give her heart to him, the spitting image of Ivan? And what would he do with a loving wife, anyway?
How could he live with hurting her, whether about the child or the omegas he'd known? 
Besides, if Eden fell in love with him, the omega would want him to love her back.
Perhaps sensing that their master was deep in thought, the horses began to neigh. 
He took the reins again, swearing through his teeth. 
If only their relationship wasn't so complicated by the presence of this unborn child. 
But without that child, there would have been no relationship at all.
Love hurts and complicates life. The men in his class didn't marry for love. 
"You want her to love you because you think you're better than Ivan," his alpha said. 
"You want her to be all yours, and you want the child to be too. Your brother betrayed you, rejected you, and now you'd like to convince yourself that you've made Eden happy. Why do you want your wife’s love? 
Because Eden is intelligent? 
Because you can give her pleasure in bed? 
That was when you still thought you could pass for an acceptable father..Why didn't you tell her how you felt about the baby? And why, you triple idiot, did you keep the truth about Freddie from her?"
Ian angrily pushed the carriage into a gallop. 
"Don't fall in love with her. Don't risk it. Ivan didn't love you. The child won't love you. And Eden sees you far too clearly to ever love you." breathed his conscience.