88. Amazing
88. Amazing
Raelyn’s pov
My second shift was less painful. Maybe because this time I didn’t fight it, or maybe because what I expected was so much worse than the reality of shifting again.
By the fifth time it hardly hurt at all, and it went way faster than before too.
Speaking of fast… Turns out Siyo is like the Flash version of wolves. Okay, maybe not that fast, but she’s fast!
Willow asked to ride me on the sixth day. Her reaction made all of us laugh, “I almost peed my pants! I saw my life flashing before my eyes, and I realized I haven’t gotten laid enough!”
We set up camp each day, a few hours before sunset. Torin and I trained, while Willow and Enya gathered food.
Okay, sometimes we trained inside the tent… But most of the time we trained so I would learn how to fight.
Willow came back early one time and heard us going at it in the tent one time and laughed, “if you want to use my spell for sex you should have told me. You’re going to be a sex goddess by the time you’re finished.”
It ruined the mood and we stopped, but not before Torin shouted, “she’s already a sex Goddess!”
We were halfway there, and I already felt stronger and more confident than I ever had. But where I was feeling better about myself, Torin was feeling the opposite.
I wasn’t sure if it was because of me. Maybe he liked that he was the one to protect me, the one to care for me. And he still did all those things.
But there was a shift, sort of. Our relationship had been pretty one-sided. Even now, we’re on some sort of mission for me.
I was scared he’d resent me or blame me. Or… I don’t even know. I just… I felt unsettled. Like something was brewing, like something was wrong. And I couldn’t let this feeling go.
But every time I tried to talk to Torin about it, I was too nervous, too scared of what it might mean. Despite my new self-confidence, I’m not used to speaking out. I was conditioned never to ask tough questions, never complain, and just accept what I was given.
‘Sometimes it’s easier to have difficult conversations when you’re mindlinking.’ Torin suddenly spoke as we ran.
‘What?’
‘When you’re in your wolf’s body, it’s easier to hide your embarrassment or discomfort.’
I laughed, ‘you can literally feel my emotions. So there is no hiding.’
‘That’s exactly why I’m asking you… Do you need to talk about something with me? Because I’ve been feeling a lot through our bond, and I want to make sure you’re okay.’
‘I’m okay.’
‘Raelyn… You’re not. You’re anxious and worried, and I don’t know if it’s about your parents or something else, but maybe you’d feel better if you just told me? Or someone? It must be hard now that you can’t see your therapist. I don’t know if all this is stirring up some trouble from your past?’
He thought I was feeling bad because of my trauma…
My sweet Torin.
I took a deep breath and said everything I was thinking as quickly as I could so I wouldn’t be able to take it back once I was done. ‘I am worried about you. You went from being an alpha to being a regular person. And I used to be weak, and maybe now I am stronger, even than you. And what if I don’t need you to protect me anymore? What if I can fight my own battles now? Will you lose all purpose? I don’t know if you blame me for everything, but they took so much from you, and I’m scared. What if we find answers and you won’t like the answers? What if, -“
Torin stopped me halfway through my ramblings. Literally, because his wolf jumped on top of mine and bit into the scruff of my neck in the way dogs carry their pups.
‘There is nothing in the world that can change the way I feel about you.’
‘But…’
He must have mind-linked Enya to go on ahead, because they kept on running, while Torin shifted back to his human body.
“Raelyn… Dimples… I am relieved you’re as strong as you are. Because now your physical strength finally matches your mental strength. I feel honored to be mated to a wolf like you. But,” he added quickly, “I was honored before too. I love you. With extra special powers or without. And yes, I am not happy I’m not the alpha of my pack anymore. But I’m focusing on the one good thing that came out of all that.”
“Which is?” I asked as I shifted back as well.
“I can now focus solely on you, while we find the answers you so very much deserve.” He said, pulling me close.
“But I don’t want you to push everything down.”
Torin chuckled and kissed the top of my head, “can I push it down until we have answers, at least?”
“Mmmm… maybe. But can you at least admit it’s hard? Your pack turned on you, Torin. That must feel awful.” I looked up at him. My big, strong, beautiful giant of a man.
He could tell me the truth. I would never think less of him.
He sighed, “it sucks. Yeah. It does. But Dimples, ultimately only your opinion of me matters to me.”
“My opinion hasn’t changed!” I quickly said. “I still love you. I still think you’re amazing.”
Torin smirked as he picked me up, “how amazing?”
I began to giggle, “I thought we were having a serious conversation? You said it was important to talk about the hard stuff.”
“I’ve got some hard stuff for you right now,” He said with a glint in his eye. That man…
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hi! I just wanted to write something quickly. I get you want more chapters and more frequent updates, but I'm only human. I could list all the reasons why I lack the time or energy, but I won't.
I'm writing this story because it's fun. It takes me an hour per chapter, usually, and then I still have to edit it.
I'm not getting paid for it. I would get paid if I got, like, a thousand or more readers. But for now, I'm not making any money off this story. Which is fine, because writing has never been a job for me. It's a hobby. But it's starting to feel like a job when a lot of the comments are complaints about how little I update, and it makes me want to write less.
I'm doing my best. And so far I'm really enjoying this story. Sometimes life gets in the way of writing, and I'm not going to feel bad for that. I have a family, and they come first.
Oh… other comments, nice ones or the ones engaging with the story, do actually make me want to write more. Just so you know, lol.