Part 61

Coming back from Avon's I locked myself in my room, forcing myself to be productive and work on my college assignments. For the whole day, I did nothing but exist in the room, determined to channel my feelings towards something productive. If I ignored the bubbling feeling of guilt and regret in my stomach, if I could push all those feelings into a box to be opened, things would be fine.

They had to be fine.

After pulling myself off the floor the next morning, ignoring the zombie in the mirror as I tried to make myself somewhat decent, even if nobody was going to see me, I heard my phone ringing in the bedroom. Not thinking anything of it, I made my way through the room to wander off in the kitchen. 

There was no sign of Allie but I saw a sticky note on the kitchen island. Guilt swarmed me again at the fact that I had not even bothered to make time for her in these past few days, too busy wallowing.

'I made some soup for you. It's in the fridge! See you in the evening xx

A smile curved on my lips at that, tucking the note in my back pocket before I was stopped by my phone ringing again. I was frozen in my spot in the doorway, long enough that the ringing stopped before a ping echoed.

I hastily pushed the bowl into the microwave before rushing to check my phone. It was a message from Avon. The Alpha typed a paragraph apologising as if he said anything the night before and also informed him he wouldn't be in the college today. 

I sagged against the nearest, empty at the thought of navigating an entire day of classes without him by my side but also relieved at not having to face him. Especially now that he thought he had a chance with Abel out of the picture. Did he? I shook my head and rushed to the kitchen, keeping that question unanswered.

***

At Abel's request, I stayed back and watched Naya snort at the exchange, already making her way to the door but not before whispering against my ears. "Just text me if he gives you a hard time. I'll be in the library."

She gave me one last pat on my arm before exiting the room, leaving us both to fend for ourselves. Oh if only she knew I thought under my breath but nodded with a pinched look on my face.

As all the students cleared the room, I could hear my breath hitching, my throat clogging up as if something was suffocating me. Maybe it's the utter silence in the room. Or maybe it's the tension in the air, so thick that no matter how many times I gulped to moisten my throat, it remained dry.

Why now? I thought while looking at Abel who didn't look like him at all. He doesn't appear like the confident man I once knew, wearing a stoic face and staring so powerful it made you think twice before opening your mouth. Now he's just an Alpha who appeared 

defeated and beaten down.

Stopping a few feet short of the chairs, I allowed one more moment of peace, one more shot at calming my nerves, before slipping into the empty chair. I pretended to not notice him, eyes glued to my lap like I was inspecting my black slacks. 

After what felt like forever, Abel finally decided that pretending to organize his papers should come to an end. There are bags under his eyes, the rims red, and he looks dishevelled. He looked worse for wear, hands slacked by his sides.

“So what is it you want to talk about?” I crossed my arms.

“I love you.”

The world stopped turning for me, eyes widening as I tried not to blink, afraid I would wake up from this moment. Everything came to a standstill, my body going limp.

“You love me?” I pointed to him and then a finger at myself, still catching my breath. “You love me?”

“Yeah, I do.” He exhaled as if it was as simple as that. 

I stood up and turned on my feet, ready to bolt out of the room when I felt him tug on my wrist. He pulled me close and I came to stand in front of him, the tips of our shoes touching. 

“Please…just hear me out.”

Tears gathered in my eyes. 

“How long?”

"A long time," He admitted sheepishly. “I can’t point to the exact moment when everything changed for me. It was gradual, tiny things that fell into place one by one. When we started this I knew this bond was stronger than us but I thought I could beat it. How stupid of me! Even when my parents decided on a match for me it felt all wrong like I was sinning. Nothing made sense in that moment and I had to come clean to Allie immediately and let her know she’s not the one for me.”

At his confession, I just gaped at him. "That's..." I whispered, shaking my head and looking away, cursing under my breath. From the moment I entered the class an hour ago, my resolve was firm—avoid Abel. Everything flew out of the window the moment I agreed to stay back and hear him out.

Looking back up at Abel, I spoke slowly. “You didn't tell me?”

I was hurt, left out of the loop for so long and went through so many emotions on my own. The Alpha’s hand twitched with the need to reach out, but it stayed firmly by his side. 

“I was an idiot! I am an idiot. I don’t know what took me so long to realise it maybe it was Edward telling me…”

“My brother knows about us?!” I let out a startled yelp, slapping a hand on my mouth. Dread settled in the pit of my stomach at the thought of confronting my brother. 

“Yes, but he’s okay with it…”

“Huh?”

“We will talk about it later but for now I want to apologise for acting like an asshole and hurting both of us in the process. I am sorry. I hope you can forgive me.”

I rubbed my eyes in frustration, taking a step back. Everything felt so overwhelming, especially the part involving my brother. I had so many questions but what surprised me the most was Abel and his apology. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine something like this playing out?

“I don’t know what to say…”

“Anything, please baby.” He licked his lips. “I’ll wait. Take all the time you want but I want to court you. Properly this time.”

“I am not going to lie Abel you hurt me a lot. I thought I meant nothing to you when you treated me that way. Made me feel so small and worthless.”

“I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for it. Please.”

I stared at him for a minute straight before nodding my head. “I would like that.” 

“Come here.”

My brain was still processing what just happened, and I was exhausted and on the brink of tears. I did cry, but only after launching myself at the Alpha, causing him to stumble back from the force. He held onto the edge of a desk while I buried my face into his neck. My body started to shake with sobs, hearing him mumble apologies into my skin.

We didn’t move for a long time, my nails digging into his skin as I had no intention of letting him go.

Abel let me cry, the stream of apologies falling from his lips all the while holding and mumbling back comforting words. He also reminded me that we are in it together and we are going to be okay.

My heart tugged when I thought about the last time I was in his arms. I pushed those thoughts away, this one being happier than the last.

Taking a step back, one hand wiping away at my eyes, I mumbled. “I don’t know why I am crying.”

“You're allowed to cry," He reached up and thumbed over my cheek, smiling softly. “We've been through a lot.”

My eyes searched his for a brief moment, worried that if they don't talk about this right now, things will get bad again. But it's been too long since I last felt his lips, and I was desperate.

The decision to join their lips together despite the nagging voice telling me not to was an easy one.

There's a collective sigh as our lips meet, and the butterflies in my stomach, and the tingling in my fingertips are all the same as they were past few days ago. The kiss started sweet, reacquainting ourselves to one another, before the Alpha started nibbling on my lower lip, his hands bunched under my shirt to pull me closer. His other hand slid into my hair, lacing his fingers in the strands and tugging gently.

I let out a moan. 

“Maybe we should close the door, baby.” The Alpha mumbled against my lips, refusing to even part for a second and I nodded in a daze. 

***