Chapter 40 The Beginning of Unwanted Thoughts

Chapter 40 The Beginning of Unwanted Thoughts

With her emotions and thoughts in turmoil, Ruella lay on the bed, a thick blanket covering half of her body. Her eyes stared up at the tent ceiling, and she remained motionless like that for quite some time, at least since Calix had left to meet Valdyr.

Her hand moved slowly, pulling the blanket up a little higher, then drifted off into her thoughts again. Froze like a statue.

Her mind wouldn’t stop, she kept thinking about "Calix" a name that kept popping up unbidden, even from the very first time they met.

Ruella sighed softly. "If that ritual is truly real and I fell in love with him instantly because of that bond, then why does it seem like only I’m affected? Moon Goddess, I really don't understand, I mean, it seems like only I keep thinking about him, even finding him incredibly attractive... while in his eyes, I’m just an ordinary woman with no shame."

"But…" Ruella recalled some of the changes Calix had shown recently, and that was precisely what was troubling her mind. "Why has he become so… it feels like he’s warmer and more attentive toward me. His tone isn’t harsh anymore when he speaks to me. He didn’t even get angry when he found out I told Rubina to leave…" she murmured softly, puzzled.

She remembered everything clearly, and her head hadn’t suffered such a severe blow that it could make her hallucinate or imagine Calix becoming friendlier.

The way Calix carried her out of the cave, his worried expression, and his voice filled with warmth, Ruella remembered it all.

"He didn’t even ask anything when he saw the old scar on my back. Even though I’m absolutely certain he wanted to know why a girl who, according to rumors, was so spoiled and protected by her family, actually had such an ugly scar on her body…" Ruella let out a long sigh for the umpteenth time.

Ruella gently bit her lower lip, feeling anxious.

"Don’t tell me…" she paused for a moment, her eyebrows slightly furrowed. "He changed because he felt pity for me? It must be that. Right, it must be pity. There’s no way he has special feelings for me. To him, I’m still just a problem that needs to be gotten rid of as soon as possible."

Her thoughts immediately drifted to the past, when her older brother would always take his anger out on her whenever there was a problem or things didn’t go his way. He would come find Ruella and beat her until he was satisfied, even going so far as to brand her back with a hot iron to mark a horse.

Those memories choked her, her hands clenched tightly as her breathing grew heavier.

"Calm down, Rue… Calm down. Y-you’re safe now. Safe from him. Don’t let Calix see you like this and make him wonder even more… You have to be strong, Rue. Don’t look weak. Don’t… Look… so pathetic." Her eyes closed as she took a long, deep breath.

Ruella closed her eyes for a moment, then opened them again. "I can’t look any more pitiful than I do right now," she murmured softly.

Once she felt calm again, Ruella lifted the corners of her lips and gave a faint smile.

"Whatever the reason behind Calix’s recent change, let’s not dwell on it. If it's really because of a pity, well then it's fine. Compared to how he used to treat me like... cold, annoying, and always yelling at me, I prefer him the way he is now," Ruella chuckled softly. "…I’ll enjoy it while I can."

Ruella didn’t want to complicate things or her thoughts, just surviving day to day was already incredibly difficult for her.



Alpha Calix and Valdyr were seen walking side by side toward Ruella to examine her.

Several warriors came and went, the sound of footsteps mingling with quiet conversation. Since the protests that had taken place that night, the atmosphere and situation at the shelter had returned to normal, though that might simply be because they hadn’t seen Ruella again since she had been found by Calix in the forest.

As they drew closer to the tent, Calix suddenly grabbed Valdyr’s hand. This forced the healer to stop in his tracks, looking puzzled.

"Wait a moment, Val," said Calix.

Valdyr turned his head, raising an eyebrow. "What’s wrong? You asked me to check on Ruella and her tent up ahead, let’s just keep going. Whatever you want to say, we can talk inside the tent while we’re sitting down."

"You talk too much, just listen to me first."

"Alright, alright. What is it?"

Calix looked around, making sure no one was nearby eavesdropping. Then he spoke.

"The wound on Ruella’s back," he finally said, his voice low. "You didn’t tell anyone, did you?"

Valdyr fell silent for a split second. "Of course not. I’m not the type to discuss my patients’ conditions with just anyone. You think I’m Orion, the one who loves to gossip, huh? Haha."

He answered casually, but secretly he kept watching every change in Calix’s expression, no matter how subtle. Lately, the expressions Calix had been showing were quite varied, so he found it somewhat entertaining to observe them.

"I’ll take everything I’ve seen to my grave, if that’s what you want."

Calix gave a small nod. "Good."

"Yeah, you don’t need to worry, Alpha." Valdyr narrowed his eyes slightly. "Why are you suddenly making sure of that with me?"

Calix fell silent for a moment, as if considering his answer.

"Ah? Oh… um, well… she doesn’t want anyone else to know," he said finally. "From the way she reacted, it’s clear she’s trying to hide that scar. You were there too, so you must know."

Valdyr smiled faintly. "I understand, no need to be so tense. Actually, scars aren’t something to be ashamed of, they’re proof that you’ve managed to fight through that pain."

"I know," Calix replied quickly. "But for her… it might be different. Maybe that scar reminds her of a painful moment. We don’t even know where she got so many scars that severe," he added.

Valdyr nodded slowly, then tilted his head slightly.

"Interesting."

Calix glanced at him. "What?"

Valdyr gave a small smirk. "You’re noticing details like that now? I didn’t think you could become so understanding overnight."

"Shut your mouth, Val. Stop teasing me like that if you don’t want me to challenge you to a sword duel on the field," Calix said. "Besides, I’m an Alpha, it’s not strange for me to think that way."

"Oh, sure, because you’re an Alpha?" Valdyr replied lightly. "Not because you’re starting to have feelings for her?"

Calix immediately turned to look at him sharply. "No. Of course not."

His answer was quick. Too quick.

Valdyr just smiled even more suspiciously.

"No need to be defensive."

"I’m not being defensive."

"Hmm, all right, I believe you, haha." Valdyr laughed.

Calix let out a short sigh, then continued walking before the conversation could veer off in all directions.