CHAPTER FIVE: DR. ARACELI CROSS

The night grew cold, colder than any of the other nights I’d spent on Galatea, but Danovan and I did not sleep tangled in each other as we used to. We were shivering underneath our own blankets, no part of our bodies touching, but I took comfort in the subtle rise and fall of his chest, the gentle, oceanic sound of his breathing.

He was tense and radiated the sadness of the loss of his mother, and I wanted to draw him out of himself, but I didn’t know. Stress and grief mixed in him to make him hard, and he turned inward to find his comforts.

In the small hours of the morning, just before the sunlight began to peek up above the horizon, he found me in the nest of pillows I’d made for myself and tugged the blankets away. He said nothing as he pulled down my pants and underwear, touching the most sensitive spot between my thighs only to warm me enough to grant him entrance. He turned me over onto my stomach and parted my legs with one knee, then two, and thrust himself home. I cried out, and he clamped a hand over my mouth, no doubt not wanting to disturb Mason and Cleoh and the baby. And while I reveled in the feel of him filling me up, it was not my pleasure he was after. Not that morning before our small army of two went to war.

He used me roughly, his breath hot against my ear, and there was a part of me that loved being used, that loved being his to possess whenever he pleased. The thought of belonging to him in that way made every nerve in my body come alive, until the coils of my release were wound tight. He rocked his hips, pushing himself into me as deep as my body would allow until he grunted and spilled his seed into me, his form heavy on my back for the span of several heartbeats.

He pulled out and rolled over onto his back, draping an arm across his eyes before drifting back to sleep. Me, I turned over as well and looked at him, my hands running lightly over the curves of my form until my fingertip settled between the sensitive folds of my sex. When I touched myself, I could feel the emissions he left behind, and I was slick with the evidence of his desire, and my own. I brought myself to climax, my body shivering next to his, before I, too, drifted off to sleep.

~ * ~

The morning came on fast and harsh; the day was hot, and none of us had slept well or long enough. The baby had woken the camp several times in the middle of the night, and while I did not begrudge them that, it certainly made for a rather tense set of farewells.

We broke our fast together before helping Mason and Cloeh pack up the tents. I pressed a kiss to little Shea’s warm, pink forehead and we gathered by the rovers to say our goodbyes.

“Remember,” I said to them, looking pointedly at them both, one then the other, “Stay out of sight. And don’t let anyone else know about that baby.”

“And you’ll come find us again?” Cleoh asked, obviously nervous, “when it’s all over?”

“When it’s safe, we’ll send for you,” Danovan said, but I shook my head.

“Stay in this area, and when it’s safe, we’ll come for you ourselves.”

Danovan and Mason shook hands, and I drew Cleoh into a warm embrace. “You,” I said, “and your beautiful baby are miracles, both.”

She squeezed me affectionately and proffered a sad little smile when she let me go. “I hope to see you again, Araceli Cross.”

Danovan and I got into the rover, and I turned around to wave at them through the glass as we began our journey, heading ever closer to the origin of the smoke rising in the air. The remnants of the Leviathan were still burning, and we had to look for answers in its smoldering remains.

We were both quiet as we made our way across the Galatean wilderness. Storm clouds roiled in Danovan’s eyes, and I realized how much he had his mother’s beating heart in his chest. It moved me, but I didn’t know how to tell him.

As we drove, I simply called the tiny hybrid baby’s face to mind. Shae. What a glorious creature she was, and so perfect, existing in bubbling contentedness without so much as a scrap of scientific intervention. It was humbling to be rendered so unnecessary. Humbling, and wonderful. Because look: look what beautiful creatures could exist naturally in this universe.

When I could no longer stand the silence, I turned to look at Danovan’s strong profile. “How much longer will we be driving, do you think?”

Silence, stony silence. I shifted in my seat, turning where I sat so that I could fully face him a little more. “Maybe we could stop in a bit? Have a stretch, maybe take a bathroom break? Or have something to—”

“We aren’t stopping,” came his terse reply.

I furrowed my brow, eyeing him closely. “What is your problem?” I asked, before I could stop myself. I knew what his problem was. He was grieving. I took in a slow, deep breath, and tried to calm myself. But before I could apologize, his voice filled the rover’s compartment.

“My problem is our conversation from last night, Araceli,” he said. “This mission of ours is hard enough without having to drag you along.”

“How dare you,” I shot back. “You aren’t dragging me anywhere. I just thought—”

“Because someone has to do something. And we seem to be the only people who have put any of this together. And we’re certainly the only ones who have access to people like Christian Ward, so don’t you think we’re obligated to help? I just don’t like feeling like I’m in this by myself.”

“You aren’t,” I insisted. “I never meant—look. I don’t know what you heard, but all I meant was…that you’re grieving, Danovan.”

“I’m fine,” he shot back.

“You’re not! You’re not, how could you be? Your mother was killed. Your home was destroyed. Your village is in a state of total chaos, to say nothing of the interplanetary politics with which we’re contending, and you’ve turned mean.” I took in a deep breath. “So, all I meant was that we didn’t have to do this now. All I meant was, if you need time to grieve, we can do that first. We can take care of you and everyone else.”

“No, Ara, we can’t.” He slammed on the brakes, and we went skidding to a halt in the warm dirt we were zipping across. He put it in park, letting it idle where it was, while he rubbed his face with his hands. “You said it last night,” he went on, a resignation in his tone. “We’ll go in, find out what we can, expose what we know, and…” he bounced his broad shoulders in a shrug, a totally bizarre gesture for such a hulking man. “And that’s it for us.” He lifted his eyes to me then and locked his gaze on mine. “We’ll never see each other again.”

His words knocked the air out of me, and I began to understand. It wasn’t just what he’d already lost that he was mourning, he was already mourning what he still had left to lose. “We don’t know that, Danovan.”

“Yes, we do.”

“We don’t. We—” But before I could finish, he threw open the door of the rover and climbed out, leaving me stunned in his wake. But his pig-headed obstinance just fueled my anger and I unbuckled my restraints, threw open my own door, and joined him in the mud.

“Don’t you walk away from me like that,” I yelled, following him as he paced back and forth and back and forth behind the rear bumper of the rover.

“I don’t want to do this, Ara,” he shouted, gesturing wildly. “I don’t want to spend our final calm moments together shouting at one another!”

“Then stop shouting!” And I did all I could think of to do to get this all to stop. I put myself bodily in front of him so that he had to stop, or literally bowl me over. I grabbed him by the front of his shirt, balling the fabric up in my fists and stared up at him. His eyes were a pleading reflection of my own, and I did not let him go.

“Don’t shut me out,” I begged. “Not now.”

“I have to Ara,” He protested. “I have to get used to the idea of losing you. I thought, for a moment…”

“What?” I urged him, my tone softening.

“I thought we might have what Mason and Cleoh have. I thought we…” he shook his head as though to disavow himself of the notion. “I didn’t even let myself think that this would end any other way. But it’s a fairytale. It’s…it’s one of my gods damned movies.”

All the air went out of him, and he leaned the bulk of his form against the back of the rover. I let go of his shirt, staring at him. “Why can’t we have it, Danovan?”

“Because,” he said, his tone tremulous and tender, “The only way we’re going to find out what we need to know is if you go back to Christian, as though nothing has happened between us. We have to go in like we were trying desperately to get back to him. That’s our only way in, Ara. That’s all we have.”

I nodded slowly. He was right. “But…then, after…”

“You’ll give me what you know, and I’ll go on the NewsFeed and leak it, and they’ll either throw me in the brig or shoot me on sight before I’ve even finished the broadcast.”

“Not if I help you,” I protested, “not if we—”

“Ara, seriously. Just stop.” He came forward and lifted a hand to my face, gently cupping my cheek in the hollow of his hand. “I won’t go through with it if it means putting you in danger. I thought about it all night, and I just…the only way I can risk anything is if I know you’re safe.”

“Danovan…” He tugged me to him, crushing me against his chest in a forceful embrace.

“This isn’t up for discussion. When we get to the crash site, you’re going to pretend that you were searching for a way back to Christian. He is going to be the man you love; you are going to marry him and have lots of babies and be happy, all right? He’s going to fund your research and you’re going to go on to do great things.”

I struggled to get out of his arms, to protest, but he just held me quick. “See, I have to get used to the idea of losing you, and you have to get used to the idea of losing me.”

I pushed him away with all my might, and he let me go, even as I felt hot, angry tears pool in the corners of my eyes. “You don’t get to do that,” I said, my voice thick as it struggled to squeak out over the knot in my throat. “You don’t get to decide how this all goes down. You don’t get to tell me to get used to being without you.”

“Ara—”

“No. You don’t get to do that.” He stood stoic and tall, the daylight shining against his skin like brushed nickel. The ridges of his brow were a stern line as he looked at me, the black shirt that he wore, clinging to the contours of his musculature. He was a strange and beautiful sight. And I loved him beyond measure. “I won’t be pushed away,” I said, a choked sob emanating from my lips. And even as I felt I might collapse with the force of what I was feeling, he caught me in his arms, he held me steady.

“Ara, please, it’s the only way.”

“No, we have to find another way.”

“I can’t—”

“No. I love you, and I don’t think I can do this if it means losing you.” He bent forward and caught my mouth in a kiss then, and I kissed him back, full of all the desperation I had been trying to convey. He lifted me into his arms, and I wrapped my legs around his waist as he turned me around and pressed my back against the rover. We kissed and kissed like we were looking for answers. We found none, but we looked again and again.

“Me rey hah,” he whispered between kisses, “I love you, I love you.”

When we finally came up for air, my lips were sore and he was smiling at me, like maybe there had been a break in the storm clouds that had circled him since the attack on Hiropass. “Tell me there’s another way,” I said as he set me slowly down onto my feet.

“We’ll find one,” he said. “We’ll find another way.”

~ * ~

Back in the Rover, we began to formulate our plan. I would pretend that I had been searching for Christian, just as long as I could figure out what he knew, if anything. Then, before the ruse was broken, Danovan would pre-record the broadcast, and we would play it even as we made our escape. To where?

“We’ll wing it,” he said, grinning faintly. “Like Thelma and Louise.”

“Danovan, those were two women, and they died at the end.”

“Well,” he said, considering, “so, not exactly.”

We drove on, the tension broke between us. That is, until the smoldering corpse of the great galactic vessel began to loom large on the horizon. The Leviathan did look like a great, dead beast, on its side, concave in places, and bloated in others, the glitter if broken glass in the field around it. It was a sight unlike any other I had seen before, like a skyscraper on its side, obliterated in an open field.

As we got closer, we could see the crew working to put out the fires that were still burning. With a nuclear engine, it’s no wonder that it had raged for days on end. There were tents set up some yards away from the great dead ship, but the place was altogether much emptier than I had hoped.

“Are you ready?” Danovan asked, slowly as we pulled to a stop outside one of the tents, even as a squadron of men in military garb came forward, weapons at the ready. I felt my heart began to race in my chest; I wished I’d thought to kiss him before we’d gotten to the camp. The soldiers, clad in traditional Army camo and sporting C97 laser pistols, approached.

“I’m ready,” I whispered, and he shut off the engine of the rover, and put his hands in the air. I did the same, and the military took the liberty of opening the rover doors and escorting us out.

“What is your business here?” One of the men asked me. With hands raised, I took a few tentative steps forward. I could hear the other men behind their protective visors, murmuring that they recognized me: That’s the girl from the NewsFeed; isn’t that Ward’s wife?

“My name is Dr. Araceli Cross,” I said. “And Christian Ward is my fiancé.”