Chapter 54

3 weeks later 

 Eliza headed down to the kitchen for breakfast and found her husband already seated at the table, newspaper in hand. 

He'd already dressed Lisa and had her little baby carrier placed on the table in front of him.

Lisa was asleep and Romano was so absorbed in his paper that he didn't notice Eliza at first. It was Yolanda’s day off, Romano had fixed himself a bowl of cereal, toast, and some coffee.

Eliza smiled at the sight of them, her heart overflowing with affection for them both.

"Good morning," Eliza greeted cheerfully as she headed over to the breakfast nook. Eliza dropped a kiss on the baby's cheek and then, after the briefest of hesitations, one on her husband's lean cheek.

While Eliza was a lot more affectionate these days, she still felt a certain reserve around her husband, not sure if she could touch and kiss her husband as freely as he did her.

Eliza knew she was being silly, but she seemed unable to overcome her emotional barriers. 

Romano told her he loved her every day, but Eliza still couldn't quite bring herself to believe her husband.

Eliza often cynically caught herself wondering if Romano meant the words or merely said them because he thought they were what she wanted to hear. 

Eliza didn't understand herself, on the surface it looked like she had everything she ever wanted but she still didn't quite believe it was real.

"Good morning." Romano smiled up at her and put his newspaper aside as Eliza got herself some cereal and sat down opposite him. 

Romano did that all the time now. Eliza seemed to have her husband's undivided attention: the business section was set aside, the television switched off, phone calls terminated, and stock reports carelessly tossed away whenever Eliza walked into a room.

Romano always wanted to know how Eliza was feeling, how her day was going, what her plans were. 

They talked all the time, they spent companionable evenings together, and he was a hands-on father. They'd had a quiet holiday and had both delighted in buying hugely impractical toys for Lisa, things that she wouldn't be able to play with for years.

Romano had surprised her with an emerald pendant and earrings, and Eliza had given him a silver Montblanc pen with Lisa and her names engraved on it. 

Their holiday weekend had been equally quiet as they'd invited only Ryan, Nadia, and Ryan’s brother over for a poolside barbecue.

They made love every night and Romano worshiped her body during those long, dark hours. They had a great life. So why couldn't she trust Romano?

She knew that her reserve was saddening her husband...hell, it was frustrating Eliza, but she needed something more. She just didn't know what.

"I thought I'd let you sleep in," Romano said as he sipped his coffee. "Between Lisa and my demands last night, you didn't get much sleep." Eliza blushed and averted her eyes to her cereal.

"Thank you," she mumbled. Her cell phone rang and she retrieved it from the kitchen counter where she had left it  to charge the night before. A quick glance at the screen told her it was Nadia.

"Hey," she greeted.

"Hey yourself, Birthday girl," her cousin greeted, and Eliza started. It was her birthday.

She had completely forgotten. "Calvin and I are taking you and Lisa out to lunch. Our treat. But we're doing some serious birthday shopping first."

"I'm not sure..."

"No arguments, Liz. I'm sure Romano will understand. He won't expect you to spend your birthday by yourself while he goes off to work...and he can have you this evening." 

Eliza glanced over at Romano, who was playing peekaboo with a slightly groggy Lisa.

A helpless smile tugged at Eliza’s lips as she watched her husband earnestly play with their daughter. 

Lisa looked confused, but at least she hadn't started wailing yet.

Eliza refocused on her conversation with Nadia, certain that Romano had no clue that it was her birthday, and Eliza wasn't about to inform him, not when she knew how angry this new Romano would be with himself for never bothering to discover that information.

"Uhm...okay, what time do you want to meet?" Eliza and her cousin quickly worked out the logistics of their meeting, and she hung up shortly after they'd finalized their plans.

"You are meeting Nadia?" It was a question more than a statement. Romano had lifted Lisa from her carrier and was cuddling her to his chest while she suckled on one of his knuckles.

"Yes, some shopping and lunch."

"Do you want me to take Lisa to the office while you enjoy your day out?" Eliza smiled at the inherently selfish offer, knowing that Romano would love showing off his daughter at work.

"I appreciate the offer, Roman, but while she's still breastfeeding, I don't think having her away from me for that long is a good idea." Romano grimaced at that logic.

Eliza knew Romano missed Lisa while he was at work. After a month of paternity leave, he had very begrudgingly gone back to work, but he called every day, claiming to miss "his babies." It was sweet.

Eliza watched him go back to muttering sweet nothings to their daughter between sips of coffee.

"Romano, do you know who leaked that story about our marriage to the press?" Eliza surprised herself by asking, and she could tell by the way Romano jerked that the question had thrown him. 

He lifted his eyes to Eliza, absently rocking Lisa as he tried to gauge Eliza’s mood.

"My oldest sister, Gabriella, had indiscreet conversations about our private family business with one of her friends. When my father died, the family was in the news for weeks, and this 'friend' saw a golden opportunity to make some money. 

Our marriage wasn't the only thing that was dragged out for public scrutiny. My sister Rosalie's teenage abortion hit the news, my other sister Isabella's cheating husband..." Romano shook his head in disgust.

"Ours was just the biggest news because of your father's involvement. It made a bad time for the family even worse. I was so busy doing damage control after the news of Rosalie's pregnancy and subsequent abortion that when the story of our marriage first hit, I wasn't even aware of it until my mother brought it to my attention. I dropped everything and flew home to you. I couldn't stand the thought that you'd think it was true...that you'd think I valued our marriage so little that I would file for a divorce without even talking to you about it."

"What happened to the friend?"

"She sold our secrets for a pittance but the status she had in our society has diminished to nothing. She is no longer welcome in the circles she once ruled. Trust me, there's no greater punishment for someone like her. Gabriella has learned a valuable lesson in discretion, and a few Italian publications are currently being sued for libel when they completely fabricated a lot of the so-called 'facts' to back up the already juicy story they'd been handed. Like the 'fact' that I was filing for a divorce."

"Also..." Eliza paused.

"Also?" Romano prompted.

"Why didn't you call? You promised you'd call every day," he whispered.

"Cara, my father had just died. My sisters, mother, and Nonna were emotional wrecks...I had so much to take care of but, every time I spoke with you, all I wanted to do was get the hell out of there and come home." That was the second time in as many minutes Romano had referred to their house as "home," and the word warmed Eliza down to her soul.

"Trust me when I tell you, the urge to come back was so strong that I actually ordered a car to take me to the airport after one of our awkward little conversations. I was torn between following my heart and honoring my responsibilities. But if I hadn't strictly rationed our phone calls, I would have abandoned those responsibilities."

"You wouldn't have," Eliza said with an incredulous little laugh.

"Don't underestimate your allure, sweetheart. I would have...in a heartbeat. I know it was selfish of me not to call, but it was the only way I could think of to control the impulse to just hand the whole mess over to my sisters and come back to you. At the same time, our very stilted conversations weren't helping matters. I was worried about you, though, so I called Yolanda practically every day for updates on how you were doing. I swore her to secrecy and practically gave her the third degree every time we spoke. When you and I spoke, I was so frustrated and hated how emotionally distant you sounded. I was also afraid of saying the wrong thing and alienating you even further. It was driving me into the wall."

Eliza laughed slightly.

"Up the wall," she corrected.

"What?" Romano looked baffled.

"It was driving you 'up the wall'...not into it."

"Into the wall, up the wall, over the wall, whatever." Romano flicked a dismissive hand. "It was driving me crazy."

 Charmed by his failure to grasp the English idiom, Eliza laughed again and decided to let the matter go. 

Romano’s explanations had gone a long way toward dispelling some of Eliza’s lingering uneasiness with their relationship.

Lisa started to fuss and Eliza reached for her quickly and efficiently baring a breast, she winced slightly when Lisa latched on hungrily. 

Romano dropped his jaw into the palm of one hand and watched them possessively.

Romano enjoyed watching her feed Lisa. In fact he was so completely fascinated with the new shape and size of Eliza’s chest that he handled it with gentleness and a bit of reverence whenever they made love.

"Thank you for answering my questions," Eliza said after a few moments of silence, broken only by the snuffling sound of the hungrily feeding infant.

"I'm happy to answer any others." Romano’s voice trailed off the invitation and Eliza nodded.

"Good to know." She needed to ask Romano about Luisa, about their future...but she was meeting Nadia. Later, Eliza promised herself she would ask Romano later. Eliza ignored the tiny voice in the back of her head that called her a coward.

"So what are the plans for tonight?" Nadia asked curiously as Eliza enjoyed the decadent slice of chocolate mousse cake she was having for dessert.

"We'll probably have a quiet evening." Eliza shrugged. "Romano doesn't know it's my birthday."

"Oh." Nadia glanced away for a long moment before turning back to Eliza. "Do you want me to tell him?"

"No, he'd feel awful if he knew." Nadia’s lips tilted at the sides.

"Well, at least he wouldn't be indifferent," Nadia said. "Which is probably what he would have been a year ago."

Eliza nodded.

"I know." She paused. "Romano told me he loved me...about a month ago. And he has been saying it every day since. But, I can't quite seem to bring myself to believe him."

"Eliza, it's been pretty obvious to me for a while now that he's in love with you," her cousin startled her by saying.

"It has?"

"Yes...I think I started to see it when he tried to forgive my debt for no good reason and then when you fainted after your amniocentesis and started crying when I got there. Ryan was right, the man looked devastated when you burst into tears. I think you should start believing in him. I know that he hurt you badly in the past, but it's time for you to decide if you can forgive him or not. Because if you can't, then there's no point in staying in this marriage and you should find your happiness too, but if you can, then I think this man is going to do his damnedest to make sure that you're happy for the rest of your life."