Chapter 13 Nothing Could Have Prepared Me
There was something about dressing up for a dinner you didn't want to attend.
My lipstick was perfect. My dress fit like a second skin, elegant and expensive, but also a breath away from suffocating me.
Ryker said I'd be fine.
But fine didn't cover the fact that I was about to face my ex-husband, his new fiancée—my step-sister—and pretend like I was in love with the one man who could ruin me if he really tried.
"You look like you're about to kill someone."
I didn't need to turn. Ryker was behind me, his hands on my shoulder blades as he stared at me in the mirror.
"Only if someone gives me a reason." I stepped out of his grip and grabbed my purse.
He tucked both hands into his pants pocket, looking casual. "You mean like Derek showing up?"
"No. Like you breathing right now."
He laughed but I didn't.
Friday wasn't supposed to be here so soon. The days just ran by so fast as if someone had intentionally rolled the world clock.
And Ryker, he seemed to be enjoying this way too much. He looked casual in those black pants and black long sleeves that were rolled up to a certain level as if he was going to a concert and not a freaking family dinner.
"At least pretend to be a little excited." He added, smirking.
I gave him a look. The kind that if translated properly, meant 'Go to hell.'
"I am," I muttered. "Can't wait to see Derek spoon-feed Annie while she shows off her ridiculous wedding ring."
"That sounds bitter, you know."
"I think that sounds generous enough."
Then, I sidestepped him, heading out of the room. I grabbed the hem of my gown, hoping not to trip and fall on my face.
Knowing my luck, I'd break an ankle before I even made it to the dinner and Derek would probably still manage to make it about him.
I could hear Ryker's footsteps behind me, slow and unhurried like he had all the time in the world to walk through this chaos. He was never far. He always hovers around me like a shadow that doesn't know when to disappear. And I envied that. I wish I had as much calmness and detachment as him.
Together, we climbed down the stairs while I tried not to notice him staring at my face. At least the side of my face.
"I could cancel on them, you know." He said all of a sudden. "I'll just tell them my date had a breakdown or is too fucked to leave the bed."
"Tempting." I sighed. "But you really want to do that?"
"You want that?"
"Let's just go," I answered flatly. "Derek doesn't bite."
"Now, that's the spirit."
Stepping out, the night air hit my cheeks but they didn't do anything to calm the storm in my chest.
Ryker's black car was already waiting outside—this was a different one though. He must have a whole garage filled with varieties of cars—Black, slick, and ominous like everything about tonight.
Cole, Ryker's driver, was standing close to the car, all dressed up for the occasion. He gave a slight nod.
"Evening, Miss Vanessa. Mr Ryker." He reached for the backseat door but paused.
Ryker opened the door for me instead. "After you, little lamb."
I carefully entered the car, not wanting to wrinkle my dress. If I were going to suffer tonight, I might as well look good doing that.
Ryker shut the door behind me and slid into the next seat close to me, looking far too comfortable.
Cole slowly pulled out of the driveway. I didn't need to say a word because the silence screamed on my behalf.
"You don't have to be civil with anyone, Vanessa," Ryker said, turning his head slightly towards me. " If you feel like cussing at him, don't hold back."
"Or you just want the drama?"
"No." He countered. "I want to see you not holding back. So you don't go back home wishing you had smack him instead."
"Jeez. I'm not a fighter." I eyed him. "And this whole thing—it's about getting a reaction from him, remember? Making him see what he lost, not to fight him."
Something changed in his expression. I couldn't pinpoint what it was, but I felt it. He nodded, looked out of the window, and mumbled. "Sure."
\~~~~
The dinner wasn't what I expected.
Nothing could have prepared me for this.
I expected it to be just the Hollands around the table, hearty meals, laughter, and chattering—setting aside the awkward moments.
But this...
The living room was packed.
People were scattered everywhere, dressed in fancy clothes, standing in small circles, and engaging in conversations. Waiters moved around with trays, serving drinks.
I turned to Ryker. Maybe he knew better.
But there was a frown on his face, indicating that he had zero idea about this. This was nothing like an imaginary family dinner.
This was a full-on ceremony.
"Come with me." Ryker's voice barely reached my ears before he pulled me along with him. He sounded pissed, looking ready to blow up on someone's face.
We were halfway through when someone blocked our path. She was familiar.
"Ryker. You came.."
"Catherine." Ryker acknowledged flatly.
Then, Catherine—Derek's mother—turned her attention to me.
Her eyes narrowed just slightly, and in that moment I forgot how to breathe.
"Vanessa?"
My lips curved into something that I hoped was a polite smile, but my throat felt coated with dust. "Hi."
Catherine's eyes widened at first, then narrowed in disapproval. Her gaze flickered between me and Ryker like she was trying to process the plot twist.
She didn't mask it well and the smile she gave in return wasn't one of warmth. It was more of the kind people wear when they were trying to figure out where to place you.
A twinge of guilt pulled at my ribs. Not because I was ashamed of Ryker or because I feared her—hell, she was a nice lady—but because I respected her. And once upon a time, I used to call her "mom".
"What are you..." Her voice dropped slightly. "doing with him?"
I felt my body tense under her stare. A thousand things I could have said in my defense jammed in my throat.
I could've said the truth. I could've told her this was all fake and it was an arrangement, a temporary solution to a permanent heartbreak.
But before I could say a word, Ryker stepped in like the goddamn wrecking ball he was.
"Why?" His tone was casual but it carried a dangerous edge. "Want her to be with someone else instead?"
My stomach twisted.
Ryker, shut up, please. This wasn't the time to be Ryker-ish.
"No. I just...wasn't expecting this." She said, her smile thin.
He pulled me closer, sliding his arm around my waist."Well, take this as an advance notice that Vanessa's now my fiancée."
Catherine blinked. My heart dropped low in my belly.
And that was it.
The beginning of the end for me.