Chapter 62: Dating - Monet

Fall is fast settling in. Daisy dukes are giving way to jeans, and crop tops are changing to hoodies. I'm already missing summer, even though the weak sunrays still shines on my face.

"Are we still on for Saturday with Damon?" Amy asks, throwing her arm over my shoulders.

Shit. Damon.

I've honestly forgotten about him and driving with him to the away game. I also might have ghosted him since the party where I was grinding my ass in his crotch. On my mind is everything Cole, and my ears burn at the thought of how sweet he was yesterday. No wild kisses, no fingers inside me. Just a sweet date, and a soft kiss goodbye in my dorm's parking lot.

This morning he sent me a good morning selfie in the weight room, and I was once again astonished by how hard he works. I'm still in disbelief that he says he wants me the way he does, that he sees a future.

This is his time to fuck around and enjoy all the fame and money playing ball at this school gives him, but he doesn't seem to be too interested in that life. At least not anymore.

"Please don't kill me." I pull a face at Amy. "But I don't like Damon. He's really cute, and really cool, but I don't think we have anything in common."

She halts, stopping me with her, looking at me with shock. "That's the second boy, Monet."

"What?"

"Damon is now the second, really handsome might I add, boy that you are rejecting." She shakes her head at me. "What the hell is it that you want?"

I wish I could tell her. Tell someone about the damn butterflies and the insane foreplay that has me weak in the knees. How no other boy can compare to the forbidden one.

"I have to have something in common with the guy that I date, Amy." I argue, knowing that what I'm spewing is utter bullshit. "And James doesn't count, we hardly even dated."

"You are so blind!" She exclaims, and I look around us hoping people don't care to listen in on our conversation. "Have you even seen the way James looks at you while Chrystal is hanging off him like a ragged coat? Maybe we should do an Instagram post to inform the male population on campus that you're just not interested, to spare the poor souls' lives."

"That's not a bad idea."

She gapes at me. "That was a joke, Monet. No seriously, I thought it was the year we get the boys and all that crap that you said."

I fold my arms defensively. "I don't see you chasing any other boy aside from Luke."

"Ditto." She rolls her eyes. "At least I'm not going out with anybody and giving them ideas."

That one stung, but she's not wrong. I should have never gone out with either James or Damon knowing I wasn't emotionally available.

"No, seriously." She continues. "Rather say no when someone asks you out if you're not ready."

"I'm not ready." I lie. "And thanks for not bullshitting me."

She hooks her arm through mine and we continue our way to class. "Told you we're stuck together until the end of time, I'm not going to sugarcoat things and lie to you."

Of course that makes me feel like shit and a bad friend. This is the time I should come clean and just tell her everything. She even called this, that very first football game when we went to the diner. She said that Cole wanted to fuck me and I thought it was absurd at the time.

I take my phone out, and text Cole immediately.

Me: This secret sucks.

It doesn't take long for him to respond.

Cole: I'm sorry. Meet me for lunch in the student center?

Cole: Please.

I know he usually has luch at their specialized cafeteria, so that means he's only asking because he wants to see me. I can't help the smile that splits my face, and I see Amy out of the corner of my eye looking at me like I've grown two heads.

Me. Okay.

This is stupid. We're not even really related. I should be able to hold his hand in public, kiss him on the lips when I see him.

But even though we're miles away from Mom, she will find out with the way everybody is obsessed with social media and posting especially Cole.

Of course Amy invites herself along when I mention I'm having lunch with Cole, and I send him a warning text so he can invite Luke as well. With Luke there, he can at least keep her company, and she won't catch that there's something going on with Cole and me.

My heart drops to my damn sneakers when I see Cole outside the student center where he's leaning against the brick building talking to Luke. No boy has the right to look that good, and all the damn girls giggle when they walk past them.

He straightens when Luke tells him we're there, his tall frame dressed in grey sweatpants and hoodie, his backpack on over his shoulders and his dark curls hanging over his forehead, just waiting for me to run my fingers through it.

I hate the fucking girls, and I know he's always going to garner attention, but I want to claim him, and I want him to claim me.

Nobody thinks its weird when we hug, of course they don't, but I cling onto his tall frame a little longer, sniffing his cologne deep into my nose. His eyes hold our secret in lust when he looks down at me, and he naturally takes my backpack to carry it.

I realize he's always done that, even when I joined them in high school he used to carry my backpack for me. I never found it strange, that was just always our dynamic, but that's something a boyfriend does for their girlfriend, not a brother for their sister.

"I missed you." He bends down to whisper in my ear when our friends walk ahead of us. "Sleep with me tonight?"

I don't know how much longer we will get away with this being a secret.