Chapter 70 HEADING NEXT

Chapter 70 HEADING NEXT
RACHEL
My chest wasn't supposed to ache this much, but it did.
At first, I felt nothing as I watched him walk out of the room and shut the door behind him. The silence that followed was deafening. I didn't feel a damn thing, like I was submerged in ice-cold water and everything around me had gone numb.
Then the ache came. A slow, pulsating pain in my chest that made me realize just how much damage he'd left behind.
Suddenly, my throat hurt so badly I couldn't force down the lump sitting there.
I lowered myself back onto the edge of the bed, one hand still faintly clutching my towel to my chest while the other dug into the small space between the mattress and the bed frame until my fingers curled tightly around the wood.
Thane's face flashed through my mind again. I couldn't stop replaying the pain I'd seen in his eyes. The more I thought about it, the harder my nails dug into the wood.
I sniffed and swallowed hard, but no tears came. Maybe this was the kind of pain people talked about when they said something hurt so much that the tears simply refused to come.
The second the door swung open, I knew it was T.
I sprang up from the bed and immediately started pulling on my shorts, even though I knew she'd already caught me.
"Everything okay?" she asked, walking straight toward me.
I zipped up my shorts and dropped the towel so I could pull on my top when I felt her arm wrap around my shoulders from behind.
"T, please..." I whispered, and I could barely hear my own voice.
"It's okay." Her voice was soft against my ear, her warm breath fanning my neck. "Don't hold it in."
For a second, I just stood there. Then the tears I'd been fighting finally broke free, sliding down my cheeks like a stream.
I sniffed louder this time, squeezing my eyes shut against the pain because everything hurt. Slowly, she pulled away and stepped around to face me.
I stared at her and lifted my shoulders weakly. "It's over." My voice cracked.
She nodded. "I know." Her eyes searched mine. "How are you feeling?"
I wiped my face first.
What if I was the only one feeling this stupid about how everything had turned out? He didn't even try to make an effort. He just left. Not that I wanted him to stay. I just… What if I was the only one hurting this badly?... I didn't even know what he was doing out there right now.
I shrugged. "Am I hurt? Yes." A faint smile pulled at my lips. "But is it the end of the world? No." I sniffed again. "Thane deserved what he got, and it's already stupid enough that I'm crying about it when..."
"Rachel, hey." T's hand shot forward and rested on my shoulder. "You're right. That idiot deserved it." She shook her head. "Trust me, I'm mad at him too for treating you that way." Her thumb swept gently beneath my lashes. "Especially bringing Nina over. Of all people. That was insane."
Funnily enough, I really didn't have a problem with Nina. I wasn't going to be the kind of insecure girlfriend who became obsessed with every girl around her boyfriend. Yeah, I was a little envious of Nina, but that was all it was. They'd known each other long before I probably even got into the picture.
"It doesn't matter anymore now, does it?"
She frowned. "I actually think you let him off too easily." Her voice hardened. "I hate that he hurt you and made you cry, and then he's with that shitty ex-hookup in the middle of all this shi—" She stopped herself, biting hard on her lip as if she'd only just realized what she'd said.
My brows pulled together. "What are you talking about?”
Usually, Tiara wasn't the type to keep secrets from me. I was the one who could go weeks before I finally found the courage to tell her what was wrong with me, and even then, it usually took a lot of persuasion. It depended on how heavy whatever I was carrying felt.
But Tiara couldn't keep even the tiniest secret. She'd tell you everything before you even asked.
Staring at her now, I felt like I'd somehow been wrong about her for the first time.
“Were those two...” The words refused to leave my lips properly. I swallowed hard, trying again. “Shit. T. That's not...” I anchored a hand to my waist and stepped away from her, confusion twisting through me.
“Fuck.” She dragged a hand over her face. “I wasn't supposed to say anything.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” My voice shot up a hundred degrees, but I was still trying like hell to keep my nerves from spiraling completely out of control. “They've been hooking up?” I stared at her. “And you fucking knew?”
She dragged in a slow breath, and the look on her face confirmed everything I still didn't want to believe.
“Dammit, T. You've got to be kidding me.” A bitter laugh escaped me. “Tell me you didn't know my boyfriend was fucking his father's secretary? And that same girl is in his room right now, right after our breakup?” My voice cracked with disbelief. “Is that a fucking joke, Tiara? Answer me!”
“I swear to God, Rach...” She swallowed hard. “They were already broken up way before you guys started dating, and—”
“Wait. What are you trying to say?” I stopped myself, then laughed again, though there was absolutely nothing in hell funny about any of it.
“Actually, I think this is really fucking funny.” I wiped quickly beneath one eye before another tear could escape. “You're supposed to be my friend, Tiara. I couldn't even lie to you about Noah when he did all that shit, and you lied to me about something this big?” I shook my head. “Seriously?”
“I'm telling you, it's not like that, babe.” Her face tightened with frustration. “They're not together anymore, it wasn't even anything real. And I swear, it's my fault for keeping it from you, but… you guys love each other.”
“That doesn't mean you get to hide something like that from me!” My voice accelerated again.
“I know it probably doesn't mean anything to you.” I shrugged, my chest still heaving. “Noah kissed that Sally girl at the bar one time, and you guys made up over sex. That's fine. I'm not judging you. But not everybody is like you, alright?”
The words tore out of my mouth before I could take a second to filter them but it flew out anyway and silence fell straight between us afterwards.
My chest was still rising and falling frantically, but the anger slowly gave way to something painfully more than guilt. Deep down, I knew I'd gone too far. But my ego wouldn't let me apologize yet. So I just stood there and stared at her.
Tiara smiled. It wasn't a happy smile. I knew this one.
She simply nodded. “You're right.” Her words somehow made the guilt sitting in my chest feel so much heavier than before.
“T, I didn't—”
“I'm such an idiot. I get it.” Her smile faltered. “But let's be fair here, Rach. You getting this angry about all of it only proves one thing.” She shrugged. “You're a hypocrite.”
My brows pulled together. “What?”
“I admitted I was wrong. I shouldn't have kept it from you.” Her voice remained surprisingly calm. “But you don't get to cross that line and then act like you're above all of this.” She shook her head.
“Look at you. You know Thane Adams isn't exactly a saint. That guy practically goes after anyone pretty enough to catch his attention, so why does it surprise you so much that he was fucking his coworker?”
She gave a humorless laugh. “Funny, right?” Her face stiffened but at this rate, something was already twisting inside my stomach like a dagger.
“And let's not even talk about Jay because that's even worse.”
My stomach dropped.
“You brought that dude into your house knowing he had a thing for you. Knowing what Thane thinks about him. And you still did it.” She threw her hands up. “That's insane, if you ask me.”
“Tiara...”
“So yeah, maybe I'm a fool for love.”Her voice softened, but there was still something wounded underneath it. “But that's the whole fucking point, Rachel. We still love people despite their flaws.” She looked directly at me. “And I wouldn't say you're stupid for making him prove that he's worth it. Maybe he needs to prove it. Maybe you need him to.”
“Tiara—” I tried again. “You know that's not…”
“I'm tired.” She sniffed and quickly wiped beneath her nose. “Today was...” Her voice faltered. “A lot.” She looked away from me. “Some of us actually have something worth fighting for.”
The words landed harder than swallowing my pride. Just like that, she walked past me to the other side of the bed.
I heard the mattress groan beneath her weight. A moment later, the sheets rustled as she pulled them over herself. Then everything went quiet.
I just stood there. Exhausted. Mad.bAnd... regretful.
Her words kept replaying in my head, especially the ones about Jay. I hated that she had a point. I hated it even more that I didn't know what to do with it.
I wasn't sure I could sleep beside her after everything that had just happened, so I walked straight to the door.
I opened it. Then quietly shut it behind me. I already knew exactly where I was heading next.