Faking It.

Faking It.
None of it was very grand for Alice. She came from a wealthy family, and all she knew were luxuries; her life had always been surrounded by that. She was aware of the quality of the dress she was wearing and the other things Robert had bought for her, but none of it amazed her. She only wore the most expensive clothes, the most luxurious and costly garments, just like her sisters. She didn't show off, but she always liked to dress well, even with the insecurities she carried, because they weren't always present. She only felt bad about her body when others made her feel inferior, and that wasn't always the case.
She grew up with a lot of love, always spoiled, the youngest of all her sisters and with a big age difference. She had fully enjoyed life until she got married. But when she put on that dress, when she saw how it hugged her body and transformed her into a beautiful figure, Alice felt good. She stood in front of the mirror for a few minutes, just looking at herself. When was the last time she felt beautiful?
"I'm hungry," she said on the way. "I didn't have breakfast, and I'm very hungry."
"Me too. Let's stop for breakfast; there's still a long way to go. Do you like boats?"
"My father has three, a sailboat and two yachts. He gave me one when I was nineteen, but I gave it to Lory in exchange for a favor."
"What favor was that?"
"To this day, it's a secret between her and me."
"Did you know we've known each other since we were children?"
"But I don't remember you."
"I remember you. You were very young, very quiet, and your sisters were all rowdy. They remember me, but you don't."
"Until the day of our wedding. I saw you before the wedding; I wanted to know who the man I would marry was. It was Mary who told me where you would be, and I practically went to spy on you."
"And where was I?"
"At lunch with your father and another lady."
"She's Katy. What did you think of me?"
"Not much, that I didn't want to get married, and neither did you. And here we are. It's been a year; you know it's not today, the anniversary. It was days ago, Robert."
"I admit I didn't remember the date; I stayed at my father's house yesterday, and he reminded me. That's why I improvised like this."
"It's the first time we've talked so much."
"It's the first time we've spent so many hours together, Alice. I wish things would change. I still have anger inside me, a lot of it, but I can improve; I want to improve. I need there to be a future between you and me."
"Why? You didn't want this marriage; what are you clinging to? There's nothing binding us; you should be happy with the proposal of a divorce."
"Well, I'm not. I don't like to think that I failed."
"We failed, not just you, both of us. For me, we failed completely from the moment Ethan died. You didn't want him; you didn't know him; you weren't there. Our son died, and you didn't know him; you abandoned me even before his birth, Robert."
"Because you love another man, Alice. I did those things because my wife loves another man! I can't justify Ethan; I don't even intend to."
"Why does it bother you that I love someone else? I, at least, was honest with you, and we both didn't feel anything. What do you want?"
"I wouldn't mind if you fell in love with me," he said, stopping at a shopping center. Alice started laughing as if that were the funniest thing Robert had said to her during the whole time, but he remained very serious, which caused her to laugh even harder, to the point of tears.
She couldn't stop. "My stomach hurts!" she exclaimed with laughter; she couldn't stop. "Falling in love with you? That's the funniest thing I've heard. I couldn't, Robert. Never, that could never happen!"
She loved Jared; she couldn't see herself loving anyone else, especially not her husband. Robert got out of the car, and Alice continued laughing. "My apologies, Robert, but it's just too absurd. I see Robert, and it's just ridiculous for me to ever feel something for him. He's not my type at all."
He offered her his hand, and they both entered the restaurant area, looking for a place to have breakfast. Alice kept giggling every time she looked at his face, which annoyed Robert. But she couldn't help it; it was beyond her control.
(...)
"It's nice," Alice commented. Robert watched as her eyes inspected everything, and now he wondered what her yacht had been like before. Was it better than this one? Probably, because her expression didn't seem very pleased. She walked around without needing Robert to guide her and then simply picked up her things and locked herself in the cabin all day until lunchtime.
She emerged wearing another dress he had chosen for her, and each one fit her better than the last. Robert quickly turned his head to avoid looking at Alice's breasts that were outlined in the fabric, along with the bikini she was wearing underneath, her bare feet, and her light steps.
"I have sunscreen; I'll help you put it on," he offered. He wanted to see how the bikini looked on her.
"It's not necessary; I just put it on to try, but I won't stay in a bikini, Robert. I'll have lunch and then go back to my cabin."
"Don't you want to sunbathe? You're very pale; it would be good for your skin."
"I don't feel like it."
"Why did you agree, then?" he asked, seeing how she avoided and rejected everything he suggested, every one of his plans. Surely, she only came out for lunch because she was hungry. "You agreed all of a sudden, and now you're acting like this. I'm pretty sure we can have a nice time."
"I believe not."
"I don't know anything about you, Alice, and you know nothing about me. Let's take advantage and have a chat, don't you think?"
"Fine. Let's talk. From now on, we have nothing in common, no shared interests, just a piece of paper certifying that we're married, nothing else."
"I like the sea; I like fishing, watching mystery movies, I don't have a very defined taste in music, but I'm pretty sure I hate pop. I can be very grumpy at work, and it's something I can't help; I torment my employees with it. I try to change, but there's no way. I hate being told what to do, like whom to marry," he left a half-smile, and she smiled too. They took their seats as Robert continued speaking. "I think... I wouldn't be a good father; I have a lot to learn about being a good friend, but I've been learning from a good friend I have, for which I'm very grateful that he puts up with someone like me. I don't care much if people distance themselves, and I don
't usually get attached to anything. There's one person I love a lot in this world, besides my father, and that's Katy, the only woman I've loved so much. I like fish a lot, I hate hamburgers, and I detest mayonnaise. There's nothing in the world I hate more than hospitals; that place stole time from my mother that she could have spent with me. Let's see, what else... I like wine, sex, and I hate tobacco, even though I smoked it once to fit in. I think... it's your turn, Alice. Tell me things you think I should know."
Alice looked into his eyes after hearing all of that. It was good to hear it, but she didn't want to say anything about herself.
"What are you afraid of, Robert?"
"Losing everything," he said, his eyes fixed on the table.
"What do you mean by everything?"
"Everything, whatever that means. I... I'm afraid of being the one who ruins what my father worked for. Maybe it's just fear of not measuring up to him, fear of being the one who messes it up."
"You're very devoted to your work, aren't you?"
"Not as much as it seems. What do you like, Alice?"
"Nothing, everything. I don't know, about what?"
"Anything."
"I don't like music much, and if I listen to it, I like it to tell a story, not just repeat rhyming words. I like ice cream, bread; I love jams no matter what flavor they are, and I like to sleep; I'm good at it. I think it's important to listen to our parents and respect them. I wouldn't want to be a mother yet, especially not with someone who thinks he'll be a bad father. I'd like to be with someone who reciprocates me, and most of all, I wish someone would choose me," she pushed her chair back and stood up, taking her things and leaving. "I've lost my appetite. Bon appétit, Robert."
And Alice stayed locked inside there all afternoon. Outside was Robert, watching the sunset while having a glass of wine. He was very surprised to see Alice come out. Clearly, things weren't going as planned, and he didn't intend to pressure her. He needed to talk to Alice about the duration of their marriage.
"It's been a lovely afternoon, Alice. You missed it."
"I want to go back to the port. I won't spend the night here."
"But... you should've said it earlier."
"I told you at home. I'm just reminding you now." He left the glass there and went to tell the captain.
He didn't go outside again; instead, he was the one who stayed in the cabin this time. She hated the flowers; the yacht idea seemed very boring to her, and she didn't want to spend the night there. They had barely spent a few minutes together, not counting the time it took to get there.
The door opened, and Alice entered.
"Now what?" Robert asked, annoyed. He realized that if he had to win over Alice Taylor, it would be an extremely complicated and difficult job. He didn't intend to press her at all. He needed to talk to Alice about the duration of their marriage.
"Nothing, I just came to see what you were doing."
"Are you still thinking about a divorce?"
"No," she lied, holding his gaze to make it more believable. "No, I'm not thinking about it. Does it worry you?"
"Yes, of course. I don't want us to get divorced, and the first time I try to do things right, it turns out like this. Has the yacht idea been that bad?"
"If this was a date, it's been the worst," she told him. Robert flopped onto the bed and put a pillow over his face. "Catastrophic."
"Don't go on; I'll die of embarrassment."
And she stood there, listening to him speak. She realized that he liked to talk a lot, and she was the kind of person who didn't talk much but enjoyed listening to the other person.
When they arrived at the port, they drove back home. Alice slept most of the way.
"I don't want you to stay here tonight," Alice told him when they got home.
"It's three in the morning, Alice. Where do you want me to go?"
"Wherever you live. You don't live here, Robert. You come and go. Leave tonight."
She got out of the car and went inside, looking out from inside. As soon as Robert left, she hurried to call a taxi. She would go to her parents' house that same night. It was urgent to talk about the divorce, and she didn't want to wait."