Jayden's POV
The water washes through me as I stand under the shower with my eyes tightly closed, the memories come rushing making me tighten my fist in frustration.
This wasn't supposed to happen. Getting married to someone else apart from Helena was not part of the plan. I never thought I would ever do a thing like this.
But here I am, married to a woman who isn't Helena. I am married to someone I don't feel any atom of tenderness or affection for.
Can life be any better? Can my guilt be lessened with this?
Of course not!
I am already feeling the heightened effect of my guilt. I promised to remain faithful to her forever and now this.
I have broken the vow once again. I have broken the promise I made to her. The first was never to go back into the Mafia business and I have been doing that successfully. The second promise I made after she died was for me to remain faithful to her even in death.
Helena won't be happy with me. She would be sad. And angry.
I betrayed her once. I have betrayed her again and it hurts like shit.
I am doing this for Mother. If I had another alternative to please her, I would have done that without getting married.
Mother isn't the only one who was extremely happy about the wedding. Father was all smiling too and it made me smile to see them happy, even though deep down, I am feeling nothing but emptiness and guilt.
The memories are back now and I doubt if I can get some sleep tonight.
After the church wedding, there was a reception in Father's mansion. I didn't want to have a reception but Mother insisted on having it in the house. I had no choice but to succumb to their wishes.
I find it very hard to pretend and smiling at my bride while we are on the dance floor is hard.
Isabella is a beautiful bride and I feel bad for doing this to her. She deserves better.
She deserves a better man who doesn't have a past that keeps haunting him. She deserves a man who can love and adore her, not someone like me who is using her for my advantage.
She was watching me all through, probably expecting me to smile just like she was doing. No one would have known that she was pretending and this marriage isn't real.
She asked us to do a quiet wedding but I didn't want that at first because I needed the news to get to the press and the shareholders of the company. They will accord me respect that way.
A few days into the wedding, I decided to give in to her demands. She ought to have a say in our wedding plans.
This doesn't need to get to the press. A few of the shareholders and business clients were invited. I was even surprised to see some people I didn't invite personally. Mother must have done that. She insisted on having an elaborate wedding but I said a loud "No" to that.
She wants to use that to brag to her numerous social elite friends. When she saw Isabella in person, she wouldn't stop singing praises of her beauty and all of that was enough to boost about.
I turn off the shower and step out with my towel.
This doesn't change anything, I say to myself, sitting down on the bed and looking into space.
Getting married shouldn't change anything at all. Everything is still in place and still the same. I should let go and concentrate on my company's growth and then Isabella will start with the day counting.
After a year, she would be gone from here.
If Mother and Father weren't too excited about the wedding and the fact that I know they would want to be witnesses for the knot tying, I would have suggested to Isabella for us to have a fake wedding instead. That way, the guilt won't be this intense.
With my type of mother, I know it is impossible. She has her eyes around and is everywhere to know if everything is set for the wedding.
A knock on the door jerks me out of my reverie and I look up.
"Come in", I stand up and walk to the closet so I can quickly grab a shirt to put over my head.
The door opens immediately and someone comes in. My back is to the door as I find a t-shirt and wear it over my head before grabbing a knicker.
"Erhmmm. I…I am sorry…" I hear Isabella stammer and I turn back to face her, fully clothed now. She examines me before saying, fully composed. "I'm sorry to disturb you. I just want to know which room is mine. None of the maids are around to show me which room it is."
"Find the head maid, she must be somewhere around", I mutter, waving her away.
She stands still, without moving. "No one is around."
"Then find one room to lodge in for the night", I say with irritation. This shouldn't be a problem. There are 13 rooms in this house and 10 rooms are empty at the moment. There is also a penthouse underground.
"I tried", she says, looking scared, probably because of my raised voice. She is still dressed in the reception wedding dress. It is a blue embroidered gown that sticks firmly to her petite body. "All the rooms are locked, except for the maid's room."
"All rooms are locked?" I furrow my brows and she nods.
Paulina is the head maid and she is in charge of the affairs of the house. She must be the reason for the locked up room.
I sigh and stride past her. "Follow me."
It was stated in the contract that we won't share a bed or a room so a room has already been prepared before her arrival.
I walk out of the door, taking long strides towards the staircase. I get to the last staircase and jump down, looking around for the sight of someone.
No one is in sight and my curiosity intensifies. What the hell is happening? Where is everyone?
I stand in the middle of the big living room with my arms akimbo, turning and thinking of where to find them.
Isabella moves close slowly and this is when I see her luggage is still in the living room.
Before I can ask her anything or think further on where to find everyone, the front door of the living room opens, and her Grandmother bursts into the house, ambling towards us.
Isabella is surprised to see her, so am I. "Mother, what are you doing here?"
Her Grandma doesn't answer but continues to walk toward her with an angry expression on her face which makes me raise a brow. When she gets to Isabella's side, her gaze shifts to the luggage beside Isabella.
"Oh, Jayden and I are looking for the maids to take my things up to his room. We have no idea where everyone has gone to", she explains, chuckling lightly, to conceal her anxiety.
The door opens again and another person comes in.
Isabella's eyes fly to the door and she gasps. This is when I recognize who it is.
"Juliet?!"
Isabella turns to me with fear evident in her eyes. When she snaps her head towards the approaching Juliet who has a smirk on her face before shifting her gaze to her Grandma who is fuming in anger, her Grandma raises her hand in the air and strikes her hard on the cheeks.
Confusion skates my expression as I look from Grandma to Juliet who has a satisfied look on her face.
"How dare you lie to me!" The old woman growls, tears streaming down her eyes.
Juliet chuckles lightly and this is when I know that Grandma must have been told the truth.
The truth about our marriage.
The truth about how bogus it is.