Daniel was in his office, just as Susan had predicted, leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed preparing for another night of self-punishment. What almost happened with Beverly was torturing him; emotions had betrayed him thinking about her, trying to remember the sensations Deanna provoked. And now he had another disaster on his hands: trying to make amends for his mistake.
He knew she was always waiting for him to give her some kind of sign or give in to her intentions, but he never saw her that way. No matter how much he showed himself in his presence or if she kept a low profile, he never felt attraction for Beverly. If he hadn't reacted in time he would be regretting it now.
Someone knocked on his door, but he didn't even answer. He heard the door open and opened his eyes, ready to throw whoever it was out and then he saw her. Deanna. He sat up in his chair holding his breath, hoping it wasn't just another illusion.
- Can I come in? - It wasn't an illusion, it was her.
-Deanna...
- I'm sorry, am I interrupting? -
- No... -
- What are you doing out here all alone in the dark? -
Daniel didn't answer, he didn't want to talk, he was afraid to say hurtful words to her again. Deanna let out a sigh.
- I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... Forgive me, understand me... - With each word she took a step towards him.
- ... I felt very sad because of the doubts you have about me... I would never do something like that to you... I don't care about what you heard about Reed, I don't even care about what you think you saw in the theater... Nothing is true... -
- I miss you - She said standing in front of him. Daniel stood up.
- You left...
- Yes, I did...
- You left me alone...
- I'm sorry... -
- I thought you weren't coming back anymore... That you were forgetting me... I always hurt you, Deanna... - He touched her cheek and the warmth it emanated began to warm up his heart again.
- Yes, you hurt me... But it hurts me more to be away from you... I don't know how to help you, to soothe your doubts... - She put her small hand on his.
- I don't know if I can make you happy, Deanna. I want to, but I become my own enemy... I'm a strange guy, you appeared in my life and turned me into this and I like it... But you filled me with fears too, how do I take them away? You have done so much for us... You did so much for me and yet at the first doubt I can't hold back... And I hurt you with my words -
He leaned his forehead on hers, so he could feel more of her warmth and her scent, the scent of her skin, her fragrance.
-You don't need to do it, you don't need the hurtful words... Trust me, I ask you again... I want to be by your side more than anything else, I want to be here with you and the children... Please, don't lock yourself away again... You don't know how much I love you... -
Daniel felt the fingers of his hand wet, Deanna couldn't hold back the tears and it made him desperate to see her cry. It broke his heart to see her sad eyes and a pang went through his chest because those tears were triggered by him. All he could do was kiss her.
An uncontrolled, hurried, impatient kiss that sought to pour all his emotions together. The need to kiss her to her soul, if it was possible, to let her know how much he loved her; how he wanted to cling to her and live like this forever. If only she could understand, if only Deanna would realize it and forgive him. He became a fragile man when the fear of losing her overcame him and the only way he knew how to combat that fragility was to let out the worst of him.
And Deanna sensed it, felt that emotion he sought to convey to her. She hugged him across his back, tightly. Anguish was turning into release, giving way to a turmoil of sensations and feelings that drowned her. It had entered her organism like a disease and she did not want to be cured. It was harmful and, at the same time, necessary; she needed him.
It was too strong to resist this, she had rehearsed in her head everything she would say to him, everything she would ask him to return again. And it all dissolved with a kiss.
-Don't go anymore," he begged her when he pulled away from her mouth.
-I don't want to leave...
Deanna hid her face in his warm chest and Daniel embraced her. How fragile his life had become because of this woman, a word, a look, a scent or a kiss from her turned his world upside down.
He didn't want to think about anything, just feel her. The closeness of her body, so glued to his, the embrace that demanded that he not let go of her anymore. And the heat... the heat of having missed her so much, the heat of her voice hitting him deep inside. That heat she was feeling too.
He sought her mouth once more, gently this time, rousing her from her lethargy. Each time she kissed him, her lips burned, the incandescence of his kiss spreading throughout her body. She insisted with that brazenness that was hers alone, with that almost animalistic demand overthrowing all restraints.
He could not stop touching her, everywhere. He simply let himself be carried away by instinct. And she would writhe, letting out increasingly hoarse, more urgent sighs. When they shared those moments of intimacy, Deanna was driven by the reactions of her heart and it drove him insane.
They had developed a kind of game in which Daniel tried to tame her and she resisted at first. When he seemed to be in control, Deanna would tear him apart.
-Take off your clothes," he demanded.
And she did, at a slow pace without stopping looking at him and teasing even more with those eyes. As she did so, he also began to discard layers of his body. First the vest, the loose tie, the buttons on the sleeves of his shirt. And finally there she was, standing in front of him with nothing on, her hair draped over her shoulders and her face transformed. Eagerly awaiting his next order.
Daniel approached her and ran his fingertips over her skin, making each of her pores dilate, searching for her most sensitive corners to make her vibrate.
The collection of profanities and indecencies she was saving for these moments she said them all to him as he continued to touch her, each word increasing the roughness of his movements. He held her waist as her legs went slack.
And at the final point of her sensations she drowned her cries in his mouth, kissing him and convulsing. But instead of losing momentum, she lost her sanity, demanding more of him, seeking with her hands to free him from his pants.
- I miss you... - She told him taking him roughly.
- I need you... - And she tightened her fingers on him.
Those frank and plain pleas took him out of reality, accelerated his pulse, disturbed him. A dark primordial desire to have her without limitations, to invade her, was born from within him.
-Go to the sofa.
He continued taking off the rest of his clothes and she waited for him seated, her body full of anticipation.
He leaned down to kiss her again and push her until she was lying on the rustic fabric of the sofa. Taking her by the legs he settled between them and didn't wait. The temperature rose in a second to an unbearable but ecstatic heat, their backs arched as the contact went deep.
He began with a slow but brutal rhythm, drawing one furtive moan after another from her, as if wanting to assert his control over her. Until she incorporated a little and her hips settled into a cadence that matched his movements in power. She confused him enough to be able to lift her body and force him to sit up.
Now the beat was set by her holding onto the backrest with both hands and using the strength of her legs. He tried to slow her down by pushing on her hips, but to fail. Deanna was undoing herself on him stealing glances at him from time to time so that he could see her face expressing pleasure.
No matter how many times he had seen her like this, it still made his blood boil. Her swaying, circular and hurried movements and her lip caught between her teeth; all told him she was close.
-Please..." She begged him, letting go of the backrest to take him by the shoulders.
And he gave in to her needy voice and put all his strength into the few shakes she lacked to disarm again by hugging her waist. Her back arched a little and the world dissolved out of her. Like this, she was the most erotic and beautiful woman in the world, because she was his. He plunged his face into her chest and with a prolonged, guttural sound he let himself be carried away by the same sensation.