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"I'm on PrEP." I blurted out. We technically didn't need a condom because I was covered and I knew he hadn't been seeing anyone other than me.
He climbed on top of me. "Blair, sweetheart, I'm too horny right now to make important decisions. We'll talk about it when we get home." I chuckled at his playfulness. He was right, we should've had a serious conversation before moving too quickly. Swiftly, he opened the condom and slid it on.
He grabbed my waist and pushed me upwards so my head was resting on the pillow. With his body hovering over me, he kissed me all over, making me have goosebumps. I reached down to touch his member, wrapping my fingers around him. I could feel his cock pulsing to the rhythm of his heartbeat. I couldn't believe this was actually happening.
He pressed his fingers against my entrance again. He smiled at how ready I was.
"Jesus Blair, you're so ready for me." Felix said, his eyes piercing into mine as he circled me. He pushed two fingers inside, but this time he did it very slowly. I rolled my head, his thick fingers filling me completely.
As he did that, he motioned me to stop touching him, and very slowly, torturously, he started thrusting his cock over my belly at the same time as he moved his fingers inside me. I whimpered at the sight of that, getting a glimpse of what was to come.
With every thrust, his cock reached my belly button. I swallowed hard, knowing that what I was feeling from his fingers didn't even come close to how his dick would feel inside me.
Suddenly, a sharp pain rose from my entrance and spread across my body. Felix had put a third finger in.
"Ow," I whimpered, lifting my head from the pillow.
"Felix, that hurts."
I reached for his chest and instinctively pushed him away. He took the third finger out immediately, his face laced with concern, his eyebrows stitched together.
"I know baby, I know, but I have to do it or else I'll hurt you more afterwards."
I hadn't had penetrative sex in so many years I had forgotten how it felt at first. I knew what he was doing was right, stretching me before so I wouldn't feel the pain afterwards, but it was still jarring.
He looked down at me with so much concern my heart melted. He kissed my cheek over and over, supporting himself with one elbow and placing his hand under my head. I cradled his face, our lips inches from each other.
"Okay, do it." I whispered. With two fingers inside me, he circled me to create as much space as he could.
When I felt his third finger, I took a deep breath in. He pushed it in slowly, giving me time to adjust to him. Still, the pain was inescapable. I whimpered, digging my nails into Felix' skin.
"It's gonna stop hurting soon, I promise." He said, kissing my collarbone. "You're doing so good baby."
At last, his finger was completely in and he started moving the three in and out. It was impossible to be quiet now. What I was feeling was so intense I couldn't keep it in.
"Look at you Blair, I'm so proud of you." He said, my heart thumping in my chest. I loved it so much when he spoke to me that way.
After a few pumps, the pain finally started to subside. When the pain was gone, I pulled Felix' face to mine, kissing him. This was my way of letting him know I was ready.
He looked me in the eyes so deeply I felt like he was looking into my soul. Our breathing was heavy, our chests rising and falling. This was such an intense moment for both of us.
"Ready?" He asked. I nodded, biting my bottom lip.
He removed his fingers from inside me, leaving me hollow. I craved to be filled, to be consumed by him. When I felt the tip of his dick in my entrance, I took a deep, shaky breath.
Felix was deep in concentration. I could tell he was nervous too. To reassure him, I buried my face in his neck, kissing his skin. I wrapped my arms around his back, my hands flat against his skin.
Steadily and unhurriedly, he pushed himself in. I gripped his skin as his member made its way inside me. I whimpered, his girth sending a mixture of pain and pleasure down my legs. Just like he had done before, Felix placed a hand under my head, bringing me closer to him, protecting me, cradling me.
He stopped halfway in and started thrusting slowly. He knew he'd probably hurt me if he went all the way in, so he took it slow.
Feeling him glide in and out was out of this world. How long had I waited for this moment, how long had I fantasized about it? Now that it was finally happening, it was even better than I imagined.
"More, more." I whispered, my breathing shaky. I wanted him completely, even if it meant a little pain. I wrapped my legs around him to show him I was desperate to be filled.
This time, before pushing himself all the way in, he held my hand, intertwining our fingers.
The feeling of him completely inside of me was indescribable. I let out a loud moan, not caring one bit about where we were. In that moment, it was just us and nothing else mattered.
Felix moaned too, his voice so deep it made my stomach somersault. With each thrust, we moaned in sync, our pleasure morphing together.
"Oh my God Blair..." He breathed into my neck. "You feel amazing. The wait was so fucking worth it."
I squeezed Felix' hips with my legs, pulling him even deeper.
"You're so big Felix, fuck." I moaned, inhaling and exhaling at the pace of his thrusts. When he hit my spot, my body twitched under him.
He kept thrusting, making sure I felt every inch of him. I muffled the sound of my moans by burying my face into his skin. With one hand supporting his weight, he explored my body with the other, caressing and squeezing me.
"You're mine Blair." He whispered, grunting with each thrust. "I'm gonna take such good care of you tonight."
In that moment, I realized why he wanted me to call him Felix. This time was different from our other sexual experiences. This was about being equals, about balance and reassurance. Above all, he was showing such kindness and respect my heart felt like it was going to explode.
At that realization, my breathing became irregular. My hands started trembling as he held me, as he thrusted into me with such care, with such love.
"Hey, what's wrong?" He said, his hips halting. He was looking into my eyes, and this time I couldn't look away, I didn't want to look away.
I gulped in nervousness. "Can you feel it?"
His eyes scanned my face. "Feel what?"
I placed my hand on his chest, feeling his hammering heartbeat. It was impossible he wasn't feeling it too, but I wasn't brave enough to say it out loud.
He looked down at my hand and placed his own over my heart. Even without me answering his question, he knew the answer.
"Yes, I can feel it."
Even though I didn't say it, it was in that moment I knew I loved him and he loved me.
With my emotions bursting at the seams, Felix went back to pleasuring both of us. He knew my orgasm was near, and so he used his hand to stroke me to get me there.
I rolled my head back, pleasure completely taking over my body.
"I want to feel you come, Blair, I want to feel you clench me." He said, his breathing shallow.
"Felix..." Was all I could get out of my mouth apart from moans and whimpers. It was as if calling his name brought him even closer to me.
"I'm gonna come baby, deep inside you." He whispered. He knew how to drive me wild with his words. "I waited so long for this Blair, so fucking long."
I whimpered as he thrusted deeper and faster into me, pressure building in my belly. The sound of our bodies colliding was so erotic that my cheeks burned bright red. I gripped Felix' arms for support, bracing myself for my orgasm.
"That's it baby." He applied more pressure. "Make me yours Blair."
When my core erupted, sending me into a blissful trance, Felix moaned loudly, feeling my orgasm around his member. He thrusted sloppily until he stopped, his eyes screw shut and his mouth wide open. I held him to my chest as my legs trembled, knowing we had just shared our first orgasm together.
"Blair, Blair..." He breathed, unable to say anything else. He thrusted a few more times to let me ride my high. He then collapsed on his side, bringing me with him.
With his cock still inside me, he wrapped his arms around my back, our shoulders against the mattress. My leg was swung over his hip so our cores were as close as possible. I didn't want him to pull out, I wanted him in me.
"Are you still in pain?" He asked, out of breath. I reached my hand down to where our bodies met, feeling my entrance wrapped around him, how wide it was. The pain had completely dissipated despite how much he had stretched me.
"No Felix." I said, our lips brushing against each other.
"No pain at all. This is perfect."
He smiled and kissed me languidly, tired by our strenuous act.
We rested like this, our breathing settling down, until my bladder couldn't hold it in any longer and I had to pee. We both sighed as I got up from bed, feeling his dick slide off me.
When I was done, I came to the bed. Felix had gotten up and collected my pajama from the floor, handing it to me.
"I'd rather have you naked, but I know you get cold at night." He said, helping me dress. He kissed my forehead when my head came through the shirt. He was so sweet I didn't know how to handle it.
I placed my hands on his cheeks, stroking his beard. "It was good, wasn't it?"
Felix pulled the covers over our legs, placing his hand on the small of my back.
"So good Blair, out-of-this-world-good."
Even though we were both extremely tired, we couldn't get enough of each other. We turned off the lights, kissing and cuddling under the sheets until sleep took over us.