CHAPTER TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY-SEVEN : AWAKE

CHAPTER TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY-SEVEN : AWAKE
“If I had known dying would have brought you to me.

Then, I would have been dead a long time ago,” he joked, trying to lighten the air after I sat there staring for what felt like an entire hour.

My lips trembled, tears gathered in my eyes and I barely realized when my hold on his hand became bruising.

But if he felt the pain, he barely even cared.

Because his eyes remained on me, steadily.

“Leah,” he said softly, raising his other hand to my face.

His fingers moved in my roughened hair, moving through the strands as if to convince himself that I was there .

And then, gasping for pain—he sat up as much as he could.

“Leah,” he said, this time more quietly.

I could see the yearning in his face as clear as day as he brought my face closer to his.

And the moment our forehead touched, he sighed in what felt like relief.

Like he had been holding that breath for far too long.

And then, my tears came in full force.

I could barely hear what he said next through the sounds of my sobs.

But I knew I wanted to hold him.

I wanted his hands wrapped around my body, to convince myself that it was all over.

And Ethan was alive with me again.

And him—he just held me as I cried.

“Why would you do something like that, Ethan?” I said through my tears, pushing him away. 

“Something like what?” He asked coyly with a smile trying to sound confused.

But I knew what he was doing clearly.

He was trying to divert my attention away from everything.

But it was impossible.

I had held his bloodied body in my arms for God’s sake.

I thought he was dead.

I shook my body away from him, recollecting nyself.

And then, wiping the tears off my cheeks.

His hand fell to his sides.

As he took that moment to look around the room, finally taking in his environment.

“Did you bring me here?” He questioned in shock.

I would have said something sarcastically if I did not watch him almost die in my arms.

“Did you do this on purpose?” I gritted, my hands curling into a fist by my side as I finally recollected myself.  

His eyes widened, as he snapped his head towards me in disbelief.

“What?””

“Did you do this on purpose?

Try to kill yourself so I’ll come running to you?” I hissed in rage.

His lips parted in what I could only explain as being short of words.

“God no!

Why would you think that?” He replied, but I did not believe his words one bit.

I scoffed.

“You sound pretty sure of yourself, Ethan.

Why won’t you do that? You tell me?

The answer is pretty obvious.

You wanted to stop my wedding with Killian,” I shouted furiously, no longer feeling pity for him, now that I could see past the gaze I feared I carried these few days.

He just sat there staring at me, not even making a twitch.

“I’m tired, Ethan.

I am utterly and completely tired.

I wanted to move on.

I wanted to leave my past life.

Killian was a fresh start for me.

But you had to ruin it.

You had to drag me back into your dark hole of nothing but pain.

Why do you always do this?” My voice raised higher with every word that I uttered.

“You stopped your wedding with Killian?” He said in shock, but more to himself.

And I snapped my lips shut, not having a good reason to give him a good reason of why I had done that.

In fact, I did not have a good reason to give myself, except I knew I just couldn’t.

I could not marry Killian, not while Ethan was here fighting for his life all alone.

He turned his head, looking at the clock glued to the wall above his bed, then he shifted back to face me.

“How long was I out?” He asked hoarsely.

“Five days,” I replied.

And this time, he breathed deeply as so many expressions passed through his eyes.

“You and Killian were meant to be married three days ago,” his voice was barely above a whisper as he spoke more to himself. 

Then he turned to me.

“You really did not marry him?” He whispered softly this time, taking in heavy breaths.

“No,” I said, finally able to hold back the emotions in my voice.

But then, as if memories rushed through his mind, he looked at me in shock. 

“How did you get here!

I mean, how did you find me?” His voice was tormented as he muttered those words just realizing what exactly was really happening.

“I read your notes,” I answered, and his eyes widened more, if that was even possible.

But I knew I saw joy in there as he spoke.

“You read them?” His words came in gasps, but then, he paused.

“That doesn’t make sense, but they were supposed to be dated ahead…” he stopped himself, clearly realizing that I must have skipped.

But I could still see confusion buried beneath his gaze.

Maybe he still found it hard to believe that I was actually here.

But all that was not my business.

I had made a list of things I wanted to do once Ethan woke up.

And I was not ready to waste anymore of my precious time with him.

“The doctor said your wounds were self-inflicted.

Did you cause those injuries on your body intentionally?” I asked, my voice serious.

He was taken aback by my words.

I watched as a bundle of emotions flashed past his eyes.

But then, he quickly recovered.

The air was silent, and only the sound of our breathing could be heard as he finally spoke.

“Yes.”