(I changed my mind and kept the titles the same way as they have been on all the rest lol. The one I did do differently is in review and hasn't been changed back yet.)
Maya
I came to bed after my shower. I feel like a bitch for being mad at him after everything he has done for me, but it hurt that he lied and kept such a thing for me. He has opened another way up for Callum to get to him and us. I am curled up under the covers, crying. I am so emotional today. There has been too much going on in the last few days. I thought my self-defence class would have de-stressed me. It didn’t. Conrad’s mom knew something was up, but I didn’t tell her. I would rather keep some things private from everyone else.
I hear the bedroom open and quickly wipe my tears away. I hear Conrad’s footsteps approach the bed. I close my eyes and pretend to be asleep. He sits on the edge of the bed where I am lying.
“Maya, I know you aren’t sleeping. I heard you crying.” He whispers.
I open my eyes to find him looking at me, “I wasn’t that loud.”
He reached in and wiped my tear-stained cheeks. “I have been sitting outside the bedroom the entire time, angel. I didn’t want to leave you alone.”
How can he continue to be so sweet and caring towards me after I snapped at him?
“You have been sitting outside for half an hour?”
He nods, “Yes. Maya, please, sweetheart, stop being mad at me. I honestly thought I was doing the right thing.”
“Conrad, do you not think I know that? I am not mad at you for protecting me. I am mad at you for lying to me and sending him a lot of money without telling me. I know it is your money, but you should have spoken to me. We could have come up with another plan.” I whimper.
I watch pain flash in his eyes at my whimper. He hates seeing me sad. I hate being miserable, but I need to let myself feel my feelings tonight, or they will build up, which is never good.
“I am sorry I lied to you. I didn’t know what else to do.” He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair.
“What did you do with them? The things he sent you?” I ask.
“I have the flash drive locked up in my office. What do you want me to do with it? Destroy it? Hold onto it? Hand it into the police?” he asks.
“For now, hold onto it. We will need to give it to the police, but I don’t think I am ready for anyone to see it. Does anyone else know about it?” I answer.
He breaks eye contact with me. Someone else does know! It is written all over his face.
“My dad. He knows briefly what is on it, but not everything. I needed his advice on what to do.” He stammers.
“Your dad knows? You told him, but you couldn’t have told me? Great, now he is going to think I am some whore who makes sex tapes and poses for naked photos.” I sob, shaking my head and turn away from him.
His dad is not a big fan of me. Yes, the other day, he apologised for his behaviour, but I still have a gut feeling he would prefer his son to be with someone else, someone like Bridget. After hearing about the videos and photos, I am sure his opinion of me has lessened, if possible.
“He doesn’t think that, Maya. He knows it wasn’t by choice.” He says, stroking my back.
“Like that will matter. He doesn’t think highly of me as it is. Go away and leave me alone, Conrad.” I snap.
I am embarrassed and ashamed. It is bad enough that Conrad knows about them, never mind his dad, too. What if his dad tells someone, too? Like his wife or the woman he wants his son to be with.
“Maya, please, don’t stop pushing me away.” He begs.
I ignore him, moving further away and bringing the covers over my face. I curl up, hugging my knees to my chest. He moves off the bed.
“I am sorry.” He whimpers and walks out of the bedroom.
I need sleep. All I want to do is sleep. I wish it were all one big nightmare. I must have been a terrible person in my previous life because this life has been hell. The only good thing is Conrad. He is my entire world and the only thing I have left to fight for. I don’t want to mess it up, but couples fight, right? We don’t usually. It isn’t exactly a fight since I am the only one mad, and he is still acting like the incredible man he is. I honestly don’t deserve him.
I close my eyes and cry myself to sleep.
****
I don’t know how long I have been sleeping, but I wake up after a horrible nightmare. I reach for Conrad instinctively, but the bed is empty. I grab my cell, and it reads two in the morning. He didn’t come to bed, which is my fault since I told him to leave me alone. I thought he would still have come to bed once he knew I was asleep.
I feel guilty. I sigh and climb out of bed to search for him. I checked the spare room first, but he wasn’t there. He must be on the sofa. I stroll to the living room and find him asleep on the couch.
“Conrad, can you come to bed, please?” I say, gently shaking him.
“Maya, is everything okay?” he asks tiredly.
“I had a nightmare. When I woke up, you weren’t there. I know I have no one to blame but myself. I am sorry.” I whimper.
“Come here, beautiful.” He says, scooting to the back of it.
I climb on and lie next to him. I cuddle into his chest, and he wraps his arms tightly around me. He strokes my hair, “You have nothing to be sorry for. I didn’t come to bed because I wanted to give you some space, beautiful.”
I nuzzled my face in his neck, “I don’t like having space between us. I didn’t mean to lash out, but too much has been going on recently, and it has drained me. I chose to take it out on the person I shouldn’t have.”
“Maya, you had the right to lash out at me. I should have been open and honest. I promise no more lies or secrets. We will find a way to get through this together.” He says, kissing the top of my head.
“Will you come to bed with me?”
“Of course, my love. We can talk things through tomorrow.” He replies.
I nod against his chest before pulling away and getting to my feet. He follows. He takes my hand and leads us to the bedroom. We climb in and I snuggle into him the second we lie down.
“Can we sleep with the lamp on, please?” I ask.
He leans over and switches the bedside lamp on. I thanked him, and we got comfortable for the night. We still have a lot to discuss and try to find a way out of this mess, but I am too exhausted to think about it. All I know is I don’t want to continue to be mad at him. He doesn’t deserve me to be angry at him. The man saved my life in more ways than one. If it weren’t for him, I can’t even imagine what my life would have been like. Where I would be or what I would be doing.
“I love you, Maya. Please don’t ever forget that.”
“I know you do. I love you too.” I reply and kiss over his chest.
“Now, rest, sweetheart. Tomorrow is a new day.”
“And hopefully a better one,” I add in.
“Yes, hopefully.” He agrees.
I won’t get my hopes up too much because we do any know what will come next.