Chapter 134 Seating Chart
ARYA
Winter arrived early that year.
The estate was good in winter. Thick walls, deep fireplaces, the forest going bare and dramatic against pale sky. I’d lived through enough northern winters by now to understand that Luca had been right when he’d described me as someone who’d finally stopped being cold, though I wouldn’t have put it in those words.
I’d stopped being cold the way you stop being something you’d been carrying so long you’d forgotten it was something you were carrying. Gradually and then completely and then you looked back and the person who’d shivered through pack house corridors feeling like an outsider was fully recognizable as a past self and fully distant from the current one.
Sage and Ryker’s wedding was in two weeks.
The preparations had been characteristically Sage. Practical, aesthetically considered, completely clear about what she wanted and unapologetic about it. The ceremony was going to be in Silver Creek, where Ryker had first come into his own as something other than Arya’s loyal shadow. Helena had offered the pack house grounds and had clearly been thrilled when Sage had accepted.
“She wanted me to know,” Sage had said, sitting in the estate library while we reviewed the guest list together, “that she’s loved Ryker since he arrived at her pack and she’s glad he found his way.”
“He did find his way,” I said.
“He really did.” Sage looked at the list. “Are you inviting Jaime?”
I’d thought about this. “Yes. Not because it’ll be comfortable. He supported everything through the election and the tribunal and he’s been genuinely different since—” I paused. “Since all of it. He deserves to be in the room for good things.”
“Luca’s going to make the face.”
“Luca always makes the face where Jaime is concerned. But if he maintains a respectful distance, everyone manages.” I looked at her. “Is Caspian coming with a date?”
“He has not told me and I have not asked because his dating life is a classified document.” Sage made a note. “He’ll come alone and spend the evening being attractive at things until someone corners him.”
“That’s very specific.”
“I’ve known him for six months. I have data.” She wiggled her brows as she set down the list. “Are you all right?”
“Yes. Why?”
“Because you’ve been in a mood for the past week and I can’t tell if it’s the wedding or something else.” She looked at me directly. “I know you well enough now to know you don’t spiral in obvious ways. You get very quiet and very organized.”
I looked at the fire..
“There’s something I haven’t told anyone yet,” I said. “Because I only confirmed it three days ago and I’m still working out how I feel.”
Sage waited.
“I’m pregnant,” I said.
The fire crackled. The snow fell. Sage’s face moved through several things.
“How far along?” she said.
“Bardon thinks eight weeks. The magical indicators are consistent.” I looked at my hands. “It happened around the void retrieval period, I think. Which means—”
“Which means you went into the void pregnant without knowing it.”
“Yes.”
“And came out.”
“Yes.”
Sage was quiet for a moment. “Does Luca know?”
“Not yet. I wanted to—” I stopped. “I wanted to understand it myself first. Before it became something we were both managing.”
“That makes sense.” She leaned forward. “How do you feel about it?”
“Terrified,” I said. “And—” I searched for the word. “Certain. In a way I didn’t expect. I’ve been carrying a lot of uncertainty for a long time and this doesn’t feel uncertain.” I looked at her. “Is that strange?”
“You went into the void after forty-seven strangers because they were real and they needed getting out,” Sage said simply. “A certainty about something you’re carrying seems consistent with your character.”
That made something in my chest ease.
“I don’t know what it means,” I said. “For work, for the Institute, for… everything. I don’t know what it looks like.”
“You’ll figure it out.” She said it without qualification. “You always do.” her voice softened. “But Arya. Tell him tonight.”
“I know.”
“Not because he needs to know before me specifically—”
“I know,” I said again, and this time it held something warmer. “He’s been waiting for me to tell him for three days. I can feel it through the bond.”
Sage blinked. “He already knows?”
“The bond carries physical information. He’s noticed something is different and he’s been waiting for me to be ready to say it.” I almost smiled. “He’s improved considerably at waiting.”
“You both have.” She picked up the guest list. “Add one to the Silver Creek reservation. You’re going to need more accommodation.”
“Sage—”
“The wedding is in two weeks. You’ll be showing by spring. Helena is going to notice and she’ll be delighted and she’ll want to have been told at a gathering rather than by letter.” She was already making notes. “Also Ryker is going to be insufferably pleased about being an honorary uncle and I want to be there when you tell him.”
I looked at her, this fierce, pragmatic, genuinely caring person who’d arrived in my life already knowing how to cut through to the essential thing, and I felt the particular warmth of a friendship that had been built in fire and was therefore solid. I was happy to know my baby will have her to look up to.
“Thank you,” I said.
“Don’t thank me. Just buy the baby something with wolves on it.” She kept writing. “Now. Back to the seating chart.”