Chapter Thirty-Eight

The day before was full of Fitz trying to teach me how to block hits and throw punches. He didn’t mind me hurting him, but he refused to go as hard on me as he should have. I guess I was still new enough to need that.

He still snuck into my bed the last two nights. But again, he didn’t hold me. He was on the very edge of the bed, and he wasn’t facing me. Something about it was unnerving. When I woke up in the middle of the night and he was there, I turned to my left side so I could see him. I was getting too used to it, and I was scared that a day would come where I let him in my bed even before I was asleep.

When I woke up, Fitz was still asleep. We had a long time before the gala, but everyone else would still be asleep, and I was all alone. So I poked at his shoulder until he woke up.

He took a deep breath, and opened his eyes to me. He smiled in a second, and it made my stomach hurt. I wondered if today would be a good day or a bad day. Would I get through the next twenty-four hours without the thought of hating him? I did yesterday for maybe the first time. I wasn’t angry at waking up next to him.

“Can I do something for you?” he asked.

How pathetic would it be if I said, just keep me company? “No.”

He smiled more. “Then why did you wake me?”

I was honest. “I was all alone and it was too quiet.”

“I highly suggest that you stop looking at me like that, or I might start thinking some things. And I might be doing some wonderful things to you that would have you panting my name.”

I felt my face redden. “I didn’t know I was looking at you like anything.” I held my pillow in front of my face, and it covered my nose and mouth.

He hopped on top of me, and tossed the pillow on the floor, then he hooked my leg around his waist. “Now you’re just asking for this.” He undid two of my buttons and pulled the shirt over my shoulder before pressing his lips to my neck.

“Move, Fitz.”

He roughly bumped his hips against mine.

“N-not what I meant,” I stuttered. “I meant, get off. OF ME!” I corrected myself before this could end poorly.

He laughed, and I felt it in my chest and against my shoulder. “If you keep acting this adorable, then I’m afraid to tell you that in about forty-five minutes, we will be, much, much closer than we are right now.”

Curiosity took over the common sense in me. “Why forty-five minutes?”

“Foreplay, of course,” he said in those quick seconds when his lips weren’t touching me as he moved them. “Then we get another hour or so of fun.”

“Is that how long it’s supposed to take? I thought it was supposed to take fifteen minutes.”

He paused everything, and hovered his face over mine. He looked confused, and a little upset. “Where the hell did you hear that?”

“TV. Books.”

“It only takes fifteen minutes if you don’t know what you’re doing.”

“I wouldn’t.”

He smiled. “I’ll correct myself. If I don’t know what I’m doing. But I know exactly what I would do, and can’t wait to show you everything you’ve been missing. Slow, I think would do you just fine our first time. So you can enjoy every drawn out second.” He moved back to my neck, and spoke between kisses again. “People don’t appreciate a slow burn like they should. It’s no fun if all the good stuff happens right off the bat. Like when the couple gets together in the first book or movie. All of the tension is gone, and what are you left with?”

“Love.”

“But the passion can fizzle. If you wait until a little later, you get to draw it out. Both of the characters burning for each other until they think they’ll combust into nothing. Then it all comes to one moment where everything falls into place. With something big or, my favorite, something small. It makes the wait worth it.”

“I like when they get together in the first book. Then you get to see them be happy longer.”

“You can’t force such a delicate thing. If they get together right at the start, then it can cause problems. If they don’t know and love every part of the other person, it can all crumble. If they wait until the moment is right for them— it can take longer, but mean so much more. If they struggle more, it deepens everything.”

He held his lips against my skin for a few seconds before he spoke again. “I don’t know how to say this the right way. I don’t know how to do a lot of things actually, but I need you to believe me when I tell you, you mean absolutely everything to me, Willow.” His breath tickled my ear as he spoke. “I just want you to know that.”

I really, really wished I could believe that he was capable of something like that. Some part of me believed he was, but every time I started thinking he was a better man than he was, he’d find a way to ruin it. I felt like I was waiting for him to screw up again.

He moved up again, and his eyes went to my mouth. He started moving down, but I stopped him. “Wait.”

He was an inch from me, and when he spoke I could feel his breath tickle my lips now. “Why? Don’t you like this?”

I skipped the second question. “I’ve liked you for a day and a half straight. Don’t ruin it.”

His blue and grey irises went to my midnight blue ones, and they were full of something that looked halfway between hope and shock. Then he got off of me and sat up on the bed.

Did I just win that?

“Thank you.” I got off of the bed, and went to shower. I came back about twenty minutes’ later still in what I was sleeping in. I figured I’d have to get changed soon anyway.

Fitz had breakfast already waiting on my bed. He was in his own while he ate. Why did I do this to myself? “Do you want to sit with me?”

He looked over at me slowly, since the disbelief was altering his capabilities. “Really?”

“Yes.”

He switched beds, and sat right next to me. We were side to side against the backboard with our treys on our laps.

I turned to him. “But if you try and take my bacon, I will kill you.”

“It almost sounds like you want me to do it.”

“I don’t.”

“Are you sure?”

“Try it and find out.”

He smirked. “You’re a little devil, you know that? Don’t deny me and then tease me.”

“I’m not teasing, I’m threatening.”

He shook his head. “Everything about you is a tease, Sugar. Every move you make, or look you give me. It might not be on purpose, and it might even be my fault for how I see you, but that’s the case. And now, you’ve given me hope. Good ol’ painful and miserable hope. I’m grasping at straws, but at least I have something to grasp onto.”

“I’ve already told you it won’t happen.”

“True. But you’re not seeing the changes I’m so desperately finding. And it’s clear that you really like it when I touch you.” He smirked, and took a bite of his food.

My mouth dropped open. “Says who?”

“Your temperature rises, as well as your heart rate. Pupils dilate and your breath quickens. You pant and moan and dig your fingers into my skin. Oh, and you take my clothes off, and all but pull me into you.”

I really wished that was all a lie. None of it was. At all. I didn’t want to have this conversation again. He knew my reasoning already and beating the subject to death would do nothing. “Ya know what? You’re right. I do like it. And it changes nothing.”

He didn’t look worried. “It will.”

We finished eating, and he took my tray for me, clearly trying to be a gentleman. This was a lot of effort for sex, and I knew he could get it anywhere. He just needed to pick a girl and go. The thought sent a twinge of something through me that I couldn’t understand, so I ignored it.

The whole gang showed up in our room a couple hours later as we discussed our game plan. Minus Phin, since he was still sick. Juliet was planning on forcing blood down his throat later.

Pepper and Juliet brought a bunch of stuff to get me ready with. Pepper was looking at nail polish in her hands. “I never painted my nails. Always wanted to. But my hands shake too much.”

Juliet rubbed her shoulder. “I’m sorry, Pepper.”

She shook her head and the thoughts away. “So, you guys need fake names,” Pepper said to Ferris and I. “They might know Willow’s name.”

Ferris nodded. “I’ll be Barry Allen. You can be Iris, my wife.”

Fitz snorted. “Like you’d have a chance in hell with Willow.”

Ferris narrowed his eyes at him. “Like you do?”

He smiled at him. “I do. Barry. How would you feel knowing how much of her I’ve tasted?”

Ferris stepped to him as I hid my face in my hands. “Listen to me. I’m stronger than you by a whole lot. If you hurt my friend, then I’ll kill you. How does that sound?”

I could see Fitz not being intimidated at all. “It would be funny to see you try.”

Ferris got a dark look in his eyes that reminded me who his father was. “I love her. Everyone here but you loves her. So if you do damage, then it’s us all against you.”

“I suppose you assume I’m incapable of love?”

“If you aren’t, then you have a funny way of showing it.”

Fitz glanced at me for a second before looking back at Ferris. “You don’t know the first thing about what I’m capable of. And believe it or not, the very last thing I want to do is hurt Willow.”

“Good,” Ferris growled. “I want you to prove it to me. Whether you love her or not, take care of her like you do.”

“Done.” Fitz nodded.

Ferris looked back at Pepper and Juliet. “I’m gonna go get ready. If you need me, call.” He waved and left.

Pepper was staring after him with her mouth open.

Juliet laughed. “Calm down. You’re purring, sweetie.”

“Huh?” Pepper said before she blinked. “Oh. Sorry. He was just…mmm. All angry. Did you hear how deep his voice got? Why do I like that?” She shivered and stared at the floor.

“Aww,” Juliet smiled. “Our little Pepper is growing up.”

She shook her head, and whimpered. “My whole body is vibrating. I wanna do real bad things with him.”

My eyes widened. “No you don’t!”

“Yes.” She smiled. “Yes, I do. Do boys like it if you shove them up against a wall and kiss them?”

“No!” I screamed at the same time as Fitz said, “Sure.”

I hit him. “Don’t encourage her.”

He looked down at me. “You shouldn’t talk, Sugar. You’re quite the little attacker.”

“Bite me.”

“I’ll take that as an invite the next time I’m in the mood.”

“Jeez,” Pepper groaned. “Knock it off. We all know you guys almost did sex, by the way. That only makes your flirting worse.”

I gasped as Juliet covered her eyes with her hand, and said, “Stop saying that. It’s having. Not doing.”

Pepper shrugged. “Same thing.”

Fitz crossed his arms. “You told them. Really?”

I threw my hands in the air. “I had to. I needed someone to talk to about it.”

“You could have talked to me if you needed to figure out how you feel about it.”

I took a breath. “Every time I try talking to you about anything, I end up naked.”

He looked so happy. “Yeah, you do.”

Pepper frowned at me with shame. “Why, oh why would you let him touch you? You’re only supposed to do that with someone who loves you. He hurts you.”

Fitz stared at the floor, and it almost made me think he was ashamed of his actions. Juliet looked at him like she was trying to decipher it, but I didn’t know what she came up with.

“I have it under control, Pepper,” I said with my hands up. “It’s not happening again, because you’re right.” I shouldn’t be with someone like Fitz. What would it say about me if I let a man abuse me, and still give him what he wanted? Well, I wouldn’t be much at all.

“You need to go now.” Juliet put her hands on Fitz’s shoulders, and started forcing him out of the room. My stomach knotted when she touched him, but it eased as he looked back at her with annoyance. “We need to get her ready.”

He made a sound that reflected his expression. “I’ve given her a bath. I think I can handle being in my own room while she’s getting dressed.”

“Nope.” Juliet had him at the door. “This is a girl thing. Even if you guys were married, you wouldn’t be allowed to stay.”

I smiled at Fitz as I spoke to Juliet. “He’s not the marrying kind, Juliet. He said he wasn’t meant for it.”

Fitz stepped backwards through the door, and watched me. “Never say never, Sugar.” He turned, and walked away with his hands in his pockets.

Pepper was shaking her head when I saw her. “You’re so gonna do sex with him.”

“Yeah,” Juliet laughed. “At least it’ll be fun.”

I rolled my eyes. “Do you have so little faith in me that you think I’ll just let this happen?”

“You almost did before.” Pepper put her handful of stuff down. “So it wouldn’t be surprising.”

Again, I threw my arms in the air. “I haven’t got a single positive feeling for the man.”

Juliet started walking, and she stopped at my suitcase. “That apparently means little. Just how many times have you guys gone at it?”

I didn’t answer that. Instead, I went to get my dress. I pulled it out, and handed it over to Juliet for her to examine. Judging by the look she got, I’d say she liked it.

It could pass for something older than it was. The style reminded me of the thirties. It was skin tight— which would be interesting —and it stopped four inches above my knees. The color was blood red, but much lighter than my hair. The front had a sweetheart neckline, and the sleeves were kind of like triangles that hugged the sides of my shoulders, and were made of lace.

“Wow.” Pepper marveled at the thing. “It’s so pretty. When did you get it?”

I broke eye contact. “Fitz got it for me.”

The girls smiled at each other. Juliet laid it out on the bed, and put a hand on her hip. “He buys you a lot of stuff… It’s kinda weird.”

“Just some clothes,” I said. And the knife, but I didn’t tell them that. It was private. At least, it felt that way.

Juliet started on my hair while I sat at the desk. Pepper was mostly there for company since she didn’t know much about this kind of stuff. She didn’t seem to mind handing things to Juliet when she asked. My long hair was made almost curly as it fell around my waist. Juliet trimmed it a bit, since I hadn’t had it done in months.

Next came the dress. I managed to get it on by myself despite how tight it was. Walking might not be very easy, but I looked better in it than I thought I would. My stomach stuck out a little, but Juliet assured me that no one would care. Juliet wouldn’t let me look in a mirror ‘til I was done.

Makeup was the second to last thing. I still had to do my nails, and I did not look forward to it. I didn’t keep them long, and it only made it harder to paint them. The chosen color was black just so I wouldn’t drown in red. My hair, dress, shoes, bag, and lips were all crimson.

“All right,” Juliet said as I slipped my heels on. “You are officially allowed to look.” She shuffled me off to the bathroom, and I stood in front of the door mirror. The girls were on either side of me as I looked at myself.

“You look perfect,” Pepper said. “Please stop looking sad.”

“Do I look sad?”

They both nodded, and Juliet said, “You just don’t see yourself clearly. You’ve got a few extra pounds on you, but the reward is much better than the cost.” She cocked her head, and looked at me in the mirror. “Your boobs alone are worth it.”

I laughed. “Thanks…”

“Okay,” Pepper sighed. “You and Ferris need to take Fitz’s car to the gala. The rest of us are gonna be parked close while we watch and listen to you guys. Get as much information as you can so we can find where they’re keeping the demons. Got it?”

I nodded. “Yup. And how are you going to hear me?”

She dropped the earpiece in my hand. “Through this. You and Ferris have one, and it’s strong enough to pick up your voices. Juliet will be talking to you and I’ll get Ferris.”

I put the thing in my ear, and moved my hair over it just in case. The bag I had fit the knife Fitz got me. I didn’t want anything else in it, because it could be incriminating. I hung it off of my shoulder.

“I suppose it’s time.” Pepper handed me the invite. “Just try and blend in as best you can. Play the part, and you’ll be fine. You look beautiful.”

“Thank you.” I smiled through the nerves. “Do I look like someone who’s in the market for demon buying?” I spun around, and rocked up on my feet.

“Sure.” Juliet took my arm and walked us out of the room.