Chapter 264 MINE, OURS.

Chapter 264 MINE, OURS.
\~~~LUCIANO.

I kissed her like I couldn't help myself, and maybe I couldn't. 

Maybe there were simply moments in a man's life when every wall he'd spent years building became completely useless, and this was one of them. 

My hands framed her face as I kissed her again, and again, and again and it was not because I needed reassurance, but because I just couldn't seem to stop. My wife was pregnant. 

My wife, pregnant. 

The words still felt unreal, like if I said them too loudly, something would wake me up.

Raina laughed softly against my mouth, a watery laugh which was the kind that came after tears.

"Luciano."

I kissed her forehead, then her cheek, and then the corner of her mouth.

"Luciano."

"Hm?"

"You're going crazy."

I immediately looked at her. "Hell, I am crazy already.”

She blinked, then pointed at me. "And you’re staring so hard. You’ve barely looked away in ten minutes."

"I still don't believe it’s true."

"It is."

"No."

"It is."

I frowned, and she laughed and God, I loved that sound. I loved everything about her. I loved her when she laughed, I loved her when she argued, I loved her when she rolled her eyes at me, I loved her when she was angry, and I loved her when she wasn't. And now, she was carrying our child. Mine, ours.

The thought hit me all over again as I sat beside her on the bed, then immediately pulled her into my lap. Raina sighed.

"Luciano."

"No," I said, and tightened my arms around her.

"What do you mean no?"

"No."

She turned slightly. "That's not an answer."

"That's enough for one."

She shook her head, then rested against me anyway like a traitor, though not that I minded. For a few moments neither of us spoke as I simply held her. I held her and breathed, held her and listened to her heartbeat, held her because I finally could. 

Then, "What if it's a girl?" The question left my mouth before I could stop it.

Raina immediately burst out laughing, making me frown. "What?"

"You've accepted this very quickly."

"What does that mean?"

"It means five minutes ago you were crying."

I narrowed my eyes. "I was not crying."

She looked directly at me, and I looked directly at her, but we both knew she was right, unfortunately.

"You were absolutely crying."

"I was emotional."

"Same thing."

"Not the same thing."

"It is."

I sighed, thinking marriage was exhausting. Then again, I glanced at her stomach and thought maybe it wasn't exhausting, but maybe perfect.

Raina followed my gaze, and the laughter slowly disappeared from her face, not from sadness, but just wonder, which was the same thing I felt. Her hand slowly settled against her stomach, and mine immediately covered it. 

Neither of us spoke, and for a long moment, we simply sat there feeling absolutely nothing because there was nothing to feel yet, and somehow, we were feeling everything.

I swallowed hard. "We are having a baby." The words came out rougher than I intended.

Raina looked up, a smile touching her lips. "Looks like it."

Looks like it, as if she hadn't just changed my entire life. I shook my head, then leaned down and kissed her forehead. 

"You have ruined me."

She laughed. "I have ruined you?"

"Completely."

"How dramatic."

"I am being serious."

"You are always dramatic."

I gasped, pretending to be offended. "Raina."

She laughed harder, and somehow I found myself laughing too. 

God, when was the last time life had felt this light? I couldn't remember, and I didn't want to remember, because this felt better, much better.

A few moments later she shifted slightly. "I am scared." The words were quiet, honest, and real.

Immediately I looked at her, seeing that the smile had faded, not completely, but just enough. "Why?"

She shrugged. "I don't know."

I waited, and eventually she sighed. "What if something goes wrong?"

There it was, the fear. It was the real one, and I understood it immediately because I carried the same fear, I just refused to give it a voice. 

My hand found her cheek gently. "Look at me."

Her eyes lifted, and I held them. "What happened before wasn't your fault." 

Her throat moved, but I continued anyway. "And it wasn't mine." A pause followed. 

"And it wasn't this baby's fault either."

Silence fell, then slowly she nodded. I leaned forward and pressed my forehead against hers. "We are not going to spend the next months waiting for something bad to happen."

"Lou"

"No," I kissed her lightly, then continued. "We're going to be happy."

Her eyes softened. "We are?"

"Yes."

"What if I want to panic occasionally?"

"You can panic."

"Good."

"You can panic all you want."

She nodded. "That is reasonable."

"But only if you do it next to me."

A smile pulled at her lips. "So bossy."

"Correct."

She rolled her eyes, then kissed me slowly and softly, giving me the kind of kiss that felt less like desire and more like home. 

When she pulled back, she remained close enough that I could still feel her breath, and close enough that I never wanted her anywhere else.

"What if it's a boy?" she asked suddenly.

I frowned immediately. "No."

Her mouth dropped open. "No?"

"No."

She burst into laughter. "Luciano."

"Let’s have a girl."

"You don't get to choose."

"You are right, but I disagree."

She laughed even harder. "You disagree with biology?"

"I disagree with anything that doesn't give me a daughter."

"You are impossible."

"I've heard that before."

"Because it's true."

I smiled, then kissed her again briefly. "Fine."

She narrowed her eyes. "Fine?”

I sighed. "Fine. If it's a boy, I will love him."

Her expression softened. "Of course, you will.”

"But, God. Boys tend to steal their mothers from their fathers. And oh, he’s not dating till he’s forty.”

She groaned. "There’s no way you’re jealous of your son. And what? Forty? I’m a genz mommy, he better bring a girlfriend home at eighteen.”

“No way!”

“There he is,” she laughed.

“Who?”

"The unreasonable man I married."

"Forty-five."

"Luciano."

"Double fine, fifty."

She smacked my shoulder, and I laughed so hard my cheeks hurt.

Nothing felt forced at the moment, not this room, not this moment, and not the future, which was a future that suddenly looked very different, very full, and very beautiful.

My gaze drifted toward her again, toward the woman who had somehow walked into my life and changed everything. I reached for her hand, interlaced our fingers, and then lifted them to my lips. Raina watched me quietly.

"What?" she asked softly.

I shook my head, meaning nothing and everything all at once, then finally I smiled a real smile, the kind that belonged only to her. "With you," I said quietly, squeezing her hand, "I think I'm going to like the future."

For a second she simply stared at me, then her eyes filled again. "Don't get sentimental again."

"I am not."

"You are."

I pulled her back into my arms before she could argue further. 

She laughed, so I kissed her hair and held her tighter, because for once, I wasn't thinking about enemies, or power, or war. I was thinking about a tiny heartbeat that didn't even exist yet, and the woman who had given me everything I never knew I wanted, and somehow... still kept giving.