"At least, now you know you mean something to him" Matteo's words kept ringing in my head as I started at the diamonds on my bed. But before I knew it, my feet were moving before I could stop them. I bolted from my room, my pulse racing, my chest tightening with emotions I wasn't sure how to process.
I found Dante in the guest room, sitting at the edge of the bed and nursing an almost finished bottle of whiskey. His white shirt was unbuttoned at the top, revealing his chest, and just then as I stepped into the room his head turned to me with a, his eyes were drunken slits and drinking me up, the usual darkness simmering in his eyes. That gaze-it was always there, always ready to drag me under.
Our eyes locked for what felt like an eternity and my heart began to speed up, my emotions stirring in ways I couldn't control. There was still the familiar tingling between my legs and each passing second that Dante kept his eyes fixed on me, it grew more intense. How did he have so much effect on me, how?
So – I mean something to you?" asked, my voice wavering just enough to betray the storm of feelings inside me.
His reply was low, gravelly, but it cut through the silence like a blade. "You've always meant something to me, Helena."
His words felt like a soothing balm, except the ache still remained with no prospects of leaving. I wanted to bring it up again, to ask him one more time why he had left me for Gianna, if I always meant something to him, why did he leave me for her?
I wanted to scream, to shout, to make him feel the pain I'd carried for so long. But my throat tightened, and I forced my mouth shut, it wasn't going to change anything, but it might just end up killing my female boner.
I walked toward him, my steps were slow and deliberate, my emotions clawing at my insides.
When I reached him, I whispered, "I'm sorry… about the ring."
I set out my hand to touch him, but I was scared of the burn I'll feel from his scalding skin. His eyes still remained fixed and I could smell the booze on his breath along with scent, an intoxicating mix that I loved and craved at the same time. I wanted to close the gap between us, I wanted to sink further into his arms, swirl my tongue in his mouth and tasted the essence of him, if possible I wanted to drink the liquor of his mouth.
I leaned forward to kiss him, ready to be catapulted into another realm entirely but then he pulled away and my heart sank for a frustrating second.
His eyes flicked back to me "I'm going to destroy you Helena" he murmured, his voice heavy with regret and something darker. "I'm a monster, and I don't think I can control myself when it comes to you."
We stayed like that for another second, the tension between thick and suffocating. I didn't say anything but my mind was racing. A deeper feral part of me knew he was right, he was a ticking time bomb but whatever sets the timer off, I wasn't really sure of that but it was only a matter of time. I know I couldn't pull myself away from him, no matter how much I tried, no matter how much I tried to kick him off my mind he stuck there like gum to my hair.
"Loving you Helena – "
I swallowed hard, my voice barely above a whisper. "I'm not asking you to love me Dante"
His brows furrowed, confusion flickering in his eyes.
"I'm telling you… fuck me."
Something feral lit up in his eyes, his gaze darkening even further with lust. But before I could even process what was happening, his hand shot out, grabbing me by the waist and yanking me closer. His grip was firm, possessive, and in one swift motion, his lips crashed against mine.
The kiss was hard, rough, filled with all the pent-up desire we'd been holding back. His mouth devoured mine, and I couldn't think-only feel. Heat surged through me, every nerve igniting as his hands gripped my waist tighter, pulling me closer still. I could taste the whiskey on his lips, feel the raw need in the way he kissed me, like he wanted to consume me whole. I gasped into his mouth, my fingers digging into his shirt, pulling him closer. His palms skimmed my legs, pushing my dress up until he found my bare thigh. His hands fit me so perfect, the way they reached every corner of my body.
We breathed each other's air for a moment before his lips moved to my neck and I felt him deeply inhale.
"You smell so fucking good"
He unclipped the back of my bra, his eyes staring into my soul as I straddled him topless with my dress around my waist. My hands slid down his chest, his abs tightening under my touch and I could feel him inching me to go lower. I traced his belt buckle with a reckless finger
"I want to do something" I whispered and the insinuation that I wanted to please him – to taste him was evident in the air. His gaze immediately moves to me, my heart pounded as I began to undo his belt and he tensed a bit. I leaned forward, pressing my breast to his chest and my lips to his neck.
"I've never done it before"
"You're lying" his voice was sharp
I gave a weak laugh "I'm sure you'll find out soon enough that I am in fact not lying"
My hands were clammy and I fought not to wipe them on my dress, and suddenly I couldn't get the image of how many blowjobs he's have gotten over the years – how Gianna -? Helena stop it!
But I couldn't stop it, I couldn't remove the mental image from my head – him with her when I had barged into his office, his shocked expression and her smug one. I wondered how many times he'd have had sex with her after that.
Immediately, I pulled away from him and I could see the strange expression on his face but I couldn't hold it back anymore – I needed to know.
"Do you – do you still love her?" the crack in my voice suddenly betraying the strong façade I presented.
"Helena – "
"Answer me!"
The silence stretched between us, thickening the thick tension holding us both captive in its lair. His face looked like he was fighting an internal battle and then he said.
"It's complicated"