"So you want a marriage of convenience?" I watch him light another cigarette and takes a slow drag, exhaling the smoke in a lazy, deliberate motion "And let me guess, with no strings attached?"
"I'm not going to be some puppet for you to control and do as you please. We get married for show, you pay off my father's debt and we keep up the charade for a year at least and I go back to Paris, back to my life"
He let out a soft chuckle, the sound low and dark, sending a shiver down my spine but I wasn't done yet "I have rules, rules that we have to abide to if we want this to work"
He doesn't take his eyes off me "Speak Helena" why did he always have to call my name like that? causing the hairs at the back of my neck to stand at an awkward angle. I couldn't meet his eyes anymore, whatever courage I had managed to summon in the last minutes was slowing dying with each second he fixated his dark eyes on me.
I took a deep breath, steadying myself before I spoke "Rule no. 1, sex is off the table"
The words come out firm, stronger than I feel, but the second they leave my mouth, I see the flicker of something dark pass through Dante's eyes. His lips twitch into a faint smirk, amusement playing at the edges of his expression. He leans his back on the trunk of the tree, like he's enjoying this far too much.
"Don't worry, principessa," he says, his voice smooth, low, and taunting. "I'm not going to touch you. Not unless you beg me to."
Heat rushes to my face and I hate myself for it. He had never spoken Italian to me before, but the way he said the word, felt too intimate, like he was seducing me.
"And trust me you will"
I shook my head, more like I was trying to make myself believe it.
He chuckles again, the sound dark and rich, like velvet wrapping around my throat. "You can set all the rules you want, Helena," he says, his voice low and dangerous, "but I promise you, it's only a matter of time before you break them or maybe you've forgotten how it feels to get fucked by me and need to be reminded again"
I couldn't let him know that I never forgot, the memories were deeply etched in my brain and I couldn't afford to allow myself to be lost in him again, I couldn't give him my body one more time and let him use me however he pleased. I needed to keep myself in order to keep my sanity or else I'll be back down that winding path I managed to crawl out from and with a dirty secret over my head.
"Fine" Dante exhaled more smoke when I said nothing else "No sex, but God, but if I ever find out you've touched another man, there is nothing in this world that could save him"
***
By the time I arrive home, I was exhausted. Papa's and Luca's funeral had been interrupted, my ear still rang with sounds from Dante's gun and the highlight of the whole godforsaken day, I had struck a deal with the devil.
I hear the faint clink of wine glasses from the living room, and when I turn the corner, I see them-Mama and Vivianna. They're sitting together, sharing a bottle of red wine, their faces solemn, etched with grief and fatigue.
I made my presence known, walking over to them knowing I could really use a glass of wine or maybe the whole bottle. They turn me and I catch mama's eyes first, red and puffy while Vivianna seemed a little clear eyed.
"I've taken care of papa's debt, the Anotti's are not going to be bothering us anymore" I say, the words tumbling out of my mouth before I could think twice.
"What do you mean cara mia? What have you done?" her tone sounded more accusatory than it sounded curious. Vivianna's glass clinks as she sets it down on the table, her eyes narrowing slightly
"Helena – what did you do?"
I look away, pacing the room for a moment, trying to find the right words.
"I made a deal" I said quickly "Dante D'angelo is going to pay off Papa's debt in exchange that I become his wife"
"Again – oh cara mia –" Mama went off "After what he did last time – "
"What did you expect me to do Mama? Papa was murdered and Luca, hell we couldn't even bury him peacefully. This is the only way out mama, I'll do anything to protect this family and keep papa's legacy alive, I'll do anything for you and Vivianna even if it means selling my soul to the devil and you know what they say – the devil you know is better than the angel you don't"
They both don't say a word, and I could see mama's eyes welling up with tears, the helplessness clawing at her chest that she took her wine glass and downed it in one go.
"Are you sure about this Helena?" Vivianna ask me "What about Paris? Your ballet? What about it all? We could have found a way, Paulo was willing -"
"It's over okay, it's done. I chose to protect my family and there's going back now. Dante needs a Dona and we need protection, case closed"
"Fine" they sigh collectively, noticing my defiance and my eyes set it stone that this wasn't a discussion I was willing to have.
Then Vivianna looks at me "When?"
"After your wedding, I'll move in with him"