There were butterflies in my stomach. And they were fighting with each other. "There are things that you don't know about me and that I can't tell you right now," he said. "That I need to protect you from." "I can take care of myself." "I know that. I know you can. But can you protect yourself from me?" "What do you mean?" "I don't want the things around me... around you. Everything always turns to shit around me." I saw his throat working. What was he hiding from me? He was so closed off. So private. So careful of what he shared about himself. Everything around him was shrouded in mystery. I practically didn't know anything about him. "There is no bet." His voice was hard, his blue eyes looked at me directly. I looked at him, confused. It took me a few moments to catch up to what he was saying. Oh. He was addressing what I told him earlier when I was in the middle of my tirade. If he had made a bet with his teammates about me. "I would never do that to you." I believed him. I was so screwed. "I don't air out my business to anyone. Not even my friends," he continued. "I told you before and I'm telling you again. I don't have a girlfriend." "Who was that, then? The one who owned the Ferrari?" He loomed over me. I should've been intimidated of his sheer size alone, but oddly enough I felt safe with him. I knew he wouldn't let anything happen to me. Physical harm, at least. And for now, he wanted my forgiveness. I knew my heart was safe with him. At least for now. But I also knew that could change. I wasn't naïve anymore. Or I'd like to think I wasn't. "No matter what, it's not somebody you have to worry about. I won't let anything hurt you," he said. Was that what he was doing earlier when he told me to leave? Would the owner of that car really hurt me? Why? I won't let anything hurt you he'd said. But he already had. And I realized with shock that the only thing that could hurt me was him. My stomach flipped. Why would he have that power over me? Why had I handed it to him? In so short a time, too. "That's not good enough," I told him. "I need to know more." "It's going to have to be for now. All I know is that I don't want you mixed up with the bad things in my life. I can't let that happen. You are," he said, his voice deepening. He paused for a moment. His blue eyes searching mine. "You are important to me." His words, spoken with certainty, were a balm to my heart. I had no clue what was going on with his life, but it seemed like he wasn't ready to tell me. I can't tell you right now, he'd said. So maybe someday he would. Someday? Was I already thinking about us being together in the future? Shít, why? "What now?" I asked. He crossed his muscular arms over his chest. "I don't know." He sounded defensive. "If you can't explain it right now, then just tell me something about you. I hardly know who you are." He opened his mouth, about to say something, and stopped when he looked behind me in the distance. His eyes widened. I was going to turn around, see what he was looking at when he said, "You should stay away from me." Frustrated, I glared at him. "You shouldn't have come here tonight," he added. "What?" He was doing it again. He was pushing me away. "Are you going to tell me to leave again?" I demanded. He looked at me without saying anything. But it was clear in his eyes. Yes. I'm telling you to leave again. I thought that we'd progressed somehow after our conversation. Progressed in this... relationship. Whatever the hell it was, but it was turning out that nothing changed. "You're a piece of f ucking work!" I yelled at him. "Go home, Kara." "You know what? I will!" Because if I didn't, I had a feeling I'd punch him eventually. He was so stubborn. I slid in my car, realized that the engine was still running. Damnit. My gas. Adding that to his black list. I'm making a fresh list. I stepped on it. I could see him bathed in the light of my car's backlights. An angel pushed out from heaven, trying to find his way back. So lonely. Solitary. Refusing everyone's love. His eyes showed how needy he was, but that was where it ended. He wouldn't speak it. I let out a sigh, stepped on my brakes. I'm done. It's either now or never. I reversed my car. I saw him get startled, his eyes widening as he jumped back. Some memory in my brain told me that looked familiar, as if I'd seen him do that before. I reversed too far before I hit the brakes, but I was in a hurry. I swung the car door open, jumped out of it and walked to him. Faster, faster until I was running. His eyes were on me. So focused on me. As if I was the only one that existed in his world. I heard his sharp intake of breath as I wrapped my hands on the collar of his shirt, pulled him down to me. And I kissed him. I kissed him because he was lonely, and I wanted to remove the sadness in his eyes. I kissed him because I had to. I wanted to. I kissed him because... goddammit. I'm falling in love with him. I didn't wait for his reaction. I jumped back in my car, stepped on the gas. Damn, I thought. I'm happy. *** There seemed to be a permanent smile on my face as I drove home, as I walked to where my dad was sitting on the couch, watching tv. It was late, but I knew he was waiting for me. He was probably worried because I stomped out in anger earlier. He looked sleepy and tired, but I knew he was trying to stay up to talk to me and check if everything was okay. His eyes, the same color as mine, studied me as I sat beside him.