97. Reality Or Fantasy

97. Reality Or Fantasy
I felt Nikolay, even before seeing him.

I didn't know how to explain it; I just knew he was there, even before stepping off the bus.

I looked ahead, and although the streets were almost empty at that hour, I could see Nikolay; the darkness of the night didn't allow me to see him completely, but I could tell it was him, and apparently, he had seen me too.

He walked towards me at a fast pace, almost trotting. If my legs weren't weak and I wasn't pregnant as I was, I would run to him. But I didn't need to run; Nikolay came to me, he dropped my bag on the ground and enveloped me in a tight and comforting hug.

I couldn't care less about the bills inside; I just wanted to be in Nikolay's arms.

"Margaret, darling," he whispered in my ear. "Damn, baby, I missed you."

I felt whole like I hadn't felt in months when I was finally taken into his arms. His voice, his arms, his smell, his face... I missed everything about him.

I didn't want to ever separate from him again, never in my life.

Nikolay knelt beside me and spoke with emotion in his voice:

"I can't predict the future, and what I hate the most is making promises I won't keep, but I want you to know that if it's necessary to drag myself back here to be with you and your mother, I'll do it," he said softly, before planting kisses on my skin. "Whatever happens, I'll always be your biggest fan; I'll support you in everything, darling, dad loves you; to the moon and back, unconditionally, until my last breath.”

…

..

.

I woke up disoriented, having that nightmare again, because Nikolay wasn't with me and I was still locked up.

I had been having nightmares for days, or perhaps weeks, dreaming that I was running around that damn house without being able to escape. Now that I was awake, my nightmare was becoming reality; I couldn't get out of here.

Mike had me locked up and tied to the bed; he brought me food and drink, but I was so depressed that I barely ate a bite. My only moments of peace were when he left, and I reminisced about every single moment I had spent with Nikolay.

How was he? What would he be doing? Would he be looking for me?

I wanted to believe he was, but it had been a long time, and Mike was constantly telling me that Nikolay would never come, that we couldn't be together, and unfortunately... I was starting to believe it.

Mike hadn't stopped insisting that Nikolay wasn't coming back. He told me that weeks had passed and if he had wanted to find me, he would have already done so.

I tried not to listen to him, to tune him out and keep hope alive that Nikolay would rescue me, that he was moving heaven and earth to find me. But Mike was getting desperate, and his behavior was starting to scare me.

I didn't know if he would be capable of forcing me into anything, but I had to be prepared for anything; he seemed very unhinged.

"Let me be the man you need, Margaret," he tried to be condescending, but I saw his eye twitch.

"We've already talked about this, Mike. I don't need any man to raise my child."

"At least no one other than Nikolay," I thought to myself.

"And what will people think of you?" he tried to go for the moral angle, but I didn't care.

"I don't care. I wouldn't be the first single mother," I shrugged.

He ran his hands through his hair, pulling at the strands.

"It's just not fair to you, and you know perfectly well that I love you," I swallowed uncomfortably.

"We're siblings, and I'm not going to commit incest. It's a crime," I saw him clench his jaw.

His face contorted again, and he stopped abruptly, glaring at me accusingly.

"You know what the worst part is? You still think Nikolay is going to come back for you and you'll be very happy together, but it's not like that. I told you he doesn't care about you, and he's proven that in these months."

I felt a shiver run down my spine. Months? Damn it, why hadn't Nikolay come back for me?

Despite the flood of negative feelings inside me, I lifted my head and looked at him with determination.

"I know, but I don't care. My baby isn't to blame for that, and you know well that I don't see you in that way..."

"Nikolay is the father of that child, I know, but let's not be naive, he won't take care of him. And I don't want people to think something that isn't true about you..."

"Mike, I'm not going to continue arguing," I touched my belly and turned my back to him, trying to silence the voice in my head telling me to give up waiting.

I wasn't going to do it; I had been asking myself the same questions for weeks about why it was taking so long. Maybe Mike had hidden me well, and that's why Nikolay hadn't found my whereabouts.

I didn't watch television or read the news; I was completely isolated and bored, which made my mind a whirlwind of thoughts, and I had no idea if it was day or night.

I don't know how much time passed, but the door opened, and Mike entered with a tray of food and one of those goons behind him. I really wanted to strangle him.

"Good morning, my love," I looked at the closed window. "Come on, Margaret, you have to eat something. The idea is not for you to starve to death, and your baby..."

"Don't talk as if you cared about my child," I spat angrily. "If you did, you wouldn't have me captive here."

He sighed and sat in a chair next to my bed.

"I don't want to see you with another man besides me," he tried to grab me, but I dodged him.

I ignored him, thinking about other things when he spoke to me. I didn't want to hear any more of his nonsense. He took my hand, and I jerked it away, slapping him on the cheek. I didn't care anymore.

"You're starting to cooperate, or face the consequences," he stood up, starting to unbutton his shirt.

Oh, no, please. What the hell was he doing?