Chapter 205 Rough choices

Chapter 205 Rough choices
Chapter 205: Rough choices 

The rain started just before sunset, then heavier against the glass walls of Allan's office.

Golden stood quietly near the window with her arms folded across herself, staring down at the blurred lights of Florida below. The city looked softer in the rain. She had not spoken in almost two minutes.

Behind her, Allan sat at his desk watching her carefully. Not the way he usually did. Not with teasing arrogance or quiet flirtation. This time he looked afraid.

Golden finally turned around slowly. "You wanted to see me?"

Allan leaned back slightly in his chair. "I wanted to talk to you outside work for once."

Golden gave a tired smile that never reached her eyes.

“I don’t think there’s anything left to say anymore.”

“That’s a lie.”

She looked away immediately. The silence between them stretched. Then Allan stood up slowly.

“I hated London.”

Golden frowned slightly. "What?"

He walked toward the window beside her. "I hated every second of it."

Golden looked at him quietly now.

Allan laughed once under his breath.

“You know what hurt the most?” he asked softly. “Not the money. Not losing the house. Not even Lindsay.”

His jaw tightened slightly.

“It was seeing you look at me with pity.”

Golden’s chest tightened. "Allan…"

“I couldn’t stand it,” he admitted. “You had your life together. You were successful. Married. Stable.” He shook his head slowly. “And I was dancing half naked for rich women in hotel lounges.”

Golden swallowed hard.

“That version of me disgusted me.”

“You were grieving.”

“I was broken.”

The honesty in his voice made her chest ache unexpectedly. Allan looked at her fully now.

“When my family died, something inside me died too.”

Golden lowered her eyes.

“I lost everything after that,” he continued quietly. “Then Lindsay took whatever was left.”

A bitter smile crossed his face.

“You know what's funny? I thought she was the love of my life once.”

Golden stayed silent.

Allan stepped closer. "But losing you hurt more."

That one landed differently. Because this time he did not say it arrogantly. He sounded exhausted.

Like a man finally telling the truth after years of running from it. Golden felt her throat tighten slightly.

“I loved you all along,” Allan admitted softly. “I just didn’t know it until I lost everything.”

The rain outside grew louder.

Golden looked down at her hands slowly.

“I used to think home was a place,” Allan continued. “Money. Status. Luxury. Success.” He shook his head once. “But it was you.”

Golden closed her eyes briefly. Because part of her had waited years to hear those words. And somehow now that they were finally here, they no longer healed her the way she imagined they would.

Allan reached for her hand carefully. This time she let him hold it.

“I know I hurt you,” he whispered. “I know I ruined us first.”

Golden looked at him quietly. "You did."

Allan nodded immediately. "I know."

“And Xander hurt me too.”

That one came out smaller. More painful.

Allan's face hardened slightly at the mention of Xander, but he stayed quiet.

Golden slowly pulled her hand away.

“For years,” she said softly, “I kept trying to survive loving both of you.”

Allan frowned slightly.

Golden laughed weakly through the emotion building in her throat.

“You broke my heart first,” she admitted. “Then Xander helped me put myself back together.” Her eyes watered slightly. “But somewhere along the way… we broke each other too.”

Allan stared at her carefully now. Golden looked exhausted emotionally. Like someone who had spent years carrying too much love, too much disappointment, too much forgiveness.

“I don't even know who I became anymore,” she admitted quietly.

The vulnerability in her voice destroyed something inside him. Golden looked out toward the rain again.

“I spent so much time trying to be enough for everyone.”

Her voice cracked slightly. “For you.”

Then quieter: “For him.”

She finally looked back at Allan. “And I lost myself completely.”

Allan's expression slowly changed. Because for the first time, he realized this was bigger than him winning her back. Bigger than Xander losing her. Golden was deeply tired.

Allan stepped closer carefully. “If you leave him…” he said softly, “choose me.”

The room fell silent after that. Golden stared at him. At Allan Renshaw, her first love. The boy who ruined her. The man who came back too late. Tears slowly filled her eyes and Allan immediately knew the answer before she even spoke.

“I will divorce Xander,” she whispered.

Allan’s breathing stopped.

Golden shook her head slowly. "But I can't be with you."

The words shattered him quietly. Golden's own tears rolled down now.

“I can’t keep doing this to myself.”

Allan stared at her like he physically could not process what he just heard.

Golden wiped her face weakly.

“I loved you too much once,” she admitted painfully. “Enough to destroy myself for you.”

Allan’s eyes reddened instantly.

“But I can’t go backwards anymore.”

He looked away sharply, trying to breathe through it. Golden had never seen him like this before. He laughed once suddenly, but it sounded broken.

“I became the richest man in the country,” he murmured bitterly. “And somehow I still lost.”

Golden's chest tightened painfully. “Allan…”

“No,” he whispered quickly, shaking his head.

His eyes were glossy now. He turned away from her immediately, one hand pressed against his mouth as emotion finally cracked through him.

Golden froze. Allan was crying? The tears slid down his face quietly and helplessly.

“I thought if I fixed my life,” he admitted hoarsely, “you’d come back.”

Golden started crying harder now.

“And I swear,” he continued shakily, “I tried to hate you after you married him.”

He laughed painfully again. "But every city I entered felt empty without you."

Golden covered her mouth with her hand. Allan finally looked at her again.

"You were it for me." Allan held her like someone terrified of letting go. And when she finally pulled away, he looked devastated all over again.

Golden wiped her tears carefully. "You'll heal someday," she whispered.

Allan smiled weakly through tears. "I don't think I want to."

That hurt most of all. Golden took one final look at him before walking toward the door. This time Allan did not stop her, because he understood now. Love was not possession, and maybe loving her properly meant letting her go.



The mansion looked strangely quiet when Golden drove in that night. The rain had stopped. Everything felt still. She sat inside the car for a long moment staring at the house she once believed would become her forever.

Then slowly, she looked down at her left hand. Her wedding ring. Golden stared at it silently. Memories flooded too quickly.

Their wedding. Xander kissing her forehead. The promises. The laughter. The safety she once felt with him. Then other memories came too. The suspicion. The arguments. The slap. The exhaustion.

Golden closed her eyes tightly. Then finally, slowly, she removed the ring. Her breathing shook slightly afterward. She stepped out of the car holding the ring tightly in her palm.

The front door opened before she reached it. Xander stood there. He immediately noticed her face, the tears, the emptiness. Then his eyes dropped slowly to her hand.

For a second, neither of them spoke. Xander looked like the ground disappeared beneath him.

Golden could not even look directly at him anymore.

“I can’t do this anymore,” she whispered.

Xander swallowed hard. He looked like he wanted to fight, beg, argue, but something in Golden's face stopped him. Because she was done.

Xander nodded once slowly. Like the realization physically hurt. Then without a word, he stepped aside and walked past her toward the driveway. Golden turned slightly, he opened his car quietly, got inside and drove away from the mansion.

And Golden stood there alone holding her wedding ring in her trembling hand.