Chapter 5
Alex was at a total loss for words. In an odd sort of way Alex felt as though he had lost Sophie for good. He would just have to move on with his life and make the most of it. Looking back he wondered what had really gone wrong. He felt as though he had not done anything wrong. Alex felt as though Sophie was just saying those things to him just to be free to be with Zander. Alex knew he and Sophie had their ups and downs, he just never had realized that it was bad enough for her to leave him. What should he do now? Of course Alex made up his mind to fight for her, to give all he has to hold on to her. The main thing, to win her heart back. Whether it is through flowers or treating her as though she is a queen, he would do whatever necessary. He was not letting her go that easily. Not this time and not without a fight. He had to somehow stay close to her. The question was how?
Sophie had given some thought to what she had done. She decided she had bills to pay. He would not help her. She was afraid to ask Zander to help her pay bills that she and Alex owed. She had to keep things cool. She was going to have to play make believe. She had to pretend to be happy. Should, would, pretend that she had forgotten about Zander. At least for the time being, she would just have to try.
“Sophie, if you want me to go now I will. I cannot stay somewhere when I know I am not wanted. If you are not happy I never will be. It is your choice. What do you want?”
Think fast Sophie. She said to herself. You have to keep him here at least until you get into the new house, and all of the bills are paid. You can still secretly call Jake. You can still write Zander. Alex will not know. Sophie knew she was being deceitful to Alex and to her children, but she had to do what she had to do to keep things going. Her children would understand if she did tell them the truth. But, she felt as though it was not up to her children, nor was it their business what she decided to do. They fell apart the first time. I will just tell him to stay and to give me my space, that he won’t be able to push me.
“Sophie, talk to me. What are we doing? Do you want me to leave? Do you want to wait until we get the new house and you and our children are settled in? Then we can tell them what is going on. Then at that point in time I can leave. If that is how you want to do this it is fine with me. I cannot make you love me. I can try though, that you cannot stop me from doing. I guess it will be hard to do, but in the end if I have to I can let you go.”
“I guess it will be okay for you to stay awhile. Things could change for the better, or just continue to get worse over time. I want you to know I cannot and will no promise you anything. I really do not even know if what I want is the right thing at this point. I have no way to know if Jake and I would even be happy. I know how I feel at this point about you, just do not crowd me. Just let me live my life. Give me space.”