Chapter 12
Jake, Sylvana, and Giovanni are locked in the sitting room with a lot of yelling and banging as I sit in the kitchen with Arrick and try not to self-implode. It’s been only minutes since we left the dining room and my nerves are completely done in. Sitting so tensely my body aches with the effort and I’m on high alert.
“Here.” He hands me a mug of cocoa and slides into the chair beside me at the kitchen table with a supportive smile.
“Thanks.” I accept it gratefully, still picking at the plate of food he warmed for me, trying to ignore the noise echoing down the hall. All the house staff have retired for the night and the place is eerily empty. Arrick’s girlfriend is either in his room or gone, so here he is, babysitting me at his brother’s request, because Jake didn’t want me left alone to ponder everything.
“I guess I should say welcome to my crazy family.” He nods casually toward the direction of the noise and I just take a long slow breath. Blowing it out to try to bring some sense of calm to my chaotic inner body, so tired suddenly.
“Is this what it’s like? I never really had a real family.” I shrug and look down. “It was only my mother and I and she’s not exactly going to win any awards for mom of the year.” I sigh a little in deflation.
“Sometimes it’s like this, especially when Jake and my dad go head-to-head. They seem to be able to get to each other in the worst way.” Arrick smiles and sips his own mug of cocoa carefully. He has Giovanni’s grace and smooth quiet confidence and authoritative quality when he’s sitting like this, contemplating things. Mature for his young age.
He looks more like Giovanni than Jake does yet somehow there is still enough of Sylvana in there for him to be attractive in a way not too dissimilar to Jake, as I used to think. The older he gets the more I see tiny hints that when he fully grows out of his teen years, he may be more Jake Carrero like than Giovanni Carrero. It’s a little odd given his lighter hair and soft brown eyes, although sitting this close I can see he has a lot of green flecks through the color, giving them more of a hazel quality.
“What was all that about with your dad?” I blink up at him with a face full of confusion trying to work out the motive behind his father’s behavior. Giovanni is one person I’m never going to figure out.
“My dad hates Marissa, he always has. Blames her for Jake going off the rails when he was younger and screwing his head up, to the degree that he brought the family name shame for a lot of years. My dad doesn’t trust her and loves nothing more than to get a dig in at every opportunity.” He watches me closely for a second and then smiles. “He called you Emma at dinner, did you notice?”
“What?” I glance up at him, as he pulls that half-smile that Jake does, the way his eyes light up when he thinks he knows something you haven’t figured out yet, making me well and truly confused. It adds to me feeling comfortable with Arrick, because he’s remarkably like his brother when you really stop and dissect him. Strong genes.
“My dad … He’s only ever referred to Marissa as Miss. Hartley or doesn’t use her name at all. It’s kind of his thing. He called you Emma, so he likes you, he sees you as something permanent in Jake’s life and if Jake hadn’t been so busy trying to control that crazy aggressive rage of his then he would’ve noticed it too. It’s almost like dad’s giving his consent.” He winks at me and takes another drink.
“You’re telling me your dad gave his approval at the same time as causing a massive fight?” I laugh at the ridiculousness of it, breaking the tension in my stomach with giggling.
“My dad never does anything without reason, Emma. He gave his approval and tried to annihilate your competition in one fell swoop to protect his son. I know what Jake thinks of him but believe it or not his intentions were only for Jake. My dad just doesn’t show affections the way we do. He’s a man from another time and lifestyle, back when men didn’t show love or affection openly.” He raises an eyebrow and I take a moment to try to analyze this. I remember the mafia rumors a while back about the Carrero family and I wonder if this is what Arrick means.
Does Giovanni still have ties to mafia?
The thought is a little disconcerting, but it would explain the man’s terrifying demeanor, the quick sharp manipulation, and the way he keeps all his cards very close to his chest and no one can ever read him.
“How does announcing a house and baby to Marissa get rid of her? She’s still carrying Jake’s kid. She’s still going to be connected to him for an eternity.” I scrutinize Arrick’s face with an expression of sheer disbelief.
“She’s refusing a DNA test despite my dad informing her that no proof means no relationship with the Carreros. He doesn’t believe this baby is Jake’s any more than I do. So
in a way he was calling her out, showing her, she has competition with a baby that really is Jake’s.” He focuses on me intensely, a hint of a frown and a look of complete belief in what he’s saying.
“Why would she lie, she would obviously be found out eventually?” I sigh and push down the fatigue sweeping up my body. My fingertips pressing at my temples to try to dull the throbbing headache growing there. I think all the emotions of that little dinner scene are playing catch up and I really need to go lay down.
“Marissa has always been manipulative as hell; she used to play Ben and Jake off one another like crazy. She tried with Daniel too, but weirdly he’s the one guy who saw through her shit and kept Jake sane and clear from her for the longest time after, so he could start to move on. The girl is twisted as hell.” Arrick shrugs, seemingly well versed in all that is Marissa, giving me more ground to not believe what she said about that night with Jake.
“It doesn’t mean she’s lying about that one specific night … You saw her right? Baby bump! And even Jake remembers waking up in a bed with her.” I push my cocoa aside, unable to stomach anything more. I just want to lie down and stop talking about that stupid Demon Bitch. I want Jake to come to bed and hold me tight and forget tonight ever happened.
“I don’t know, Emma, it’s just the fact she’s refusing the DNA … She should want to prove it just to shove it in my dad’s face.”
“From what I’ve seen she’s stubborn and difficult and is only refusing because she can to be stubborn and difficult.” Demon Bitch does not like being told what to do, or ultimatums. The dealings Jake’s had with her so far have only proven that she’s someone who digs in her heels and fights hard, even when it’s futile.
“That could be true too, I guess. Look … I didn’t say this before because Jake swore me to secrecy until my mom knew, but congratulations on the baby, Emma. I really mean it. I know you’re kinda freaked out over the whole thing but Jake’s crazy happy about this. He tells me everything, and from the day you found out he’s been gushing about it non-stop. I know he fucked things up and I’m glad you’re giving him a chance to put things right. You’re good for him in so many ways, I’ve never seen him this happy.”
He smiles and puts an arm around my shoulder giving me a small awkward squeeze before pulling away again. Unlike his brother, Arrick isn’t as handy, touchy-feely as Jake. Every time I’ve seen him with girlfriends he isn’t as publicly affectionate either. He’s more like Giovanni in a reserved, less emotional way.
“He’s good for me too … When he’s not fucking things up.” I smile softly, noticing for the first time it doesn’t hurt quite as much to talk about this and mentioning the baby seems a little less scary too. I don’t know when I stopped panicking about the baby and our future, I guess it’s been a gradual thing and my mind is now, hopefully, completely at peace with both. It feels good to realize it.
“You belong together and every one of us is rooting for it. You have a whole bunch of Carrero family members talking of nothing else but when Jake going to get his head out of his ass and get you walking down the aisle.”
I blush and look down at my hands.
“After tonight, I’m guessing sooner than you think.” I smile and can’t help but let it grow across my face with a sudden rush of certainty that I am doing the right thing.
“You finally said yes?” He grins at me, a show of enthusiasm and genuine joy.
“I did one better … I asked him to marry me, in an angry loud kind of way, in front of her.” I giggle naughtily and then appraise him genuinely. “Funny thing is though, I actually meant it. Something snapped while listening to her and I realized that he’s mine, for now and forever, no matter what happens. Jake’s mine, he always will be and there’s absolutely no reason for me to keep freaking out over all of this in my head anymore. Wasting time and holding back is only making us miserable.” I sigh and start picking at my nail varnish, still blushing at this outpouring of my inner emotions and thoughts. Especially with this almost stranger.
“You’re going to fit right in with this family, Emma Anderson! Or should I say Carrero … Emma Carrero, has a nice ring to it.” Arrick has a beautiful smile when he’s happy. He has variations of smiles he throws around, like Jake, but this one here, boyish, and genuine, is the prettiest. He has that whole sparkly white Hollywood teeth thing too.
“Yeah it kinda does.” I giggle again and kiss Arrick on the cheek rather quickly and nervously. “I always wanted a sibling.” I smile at him and stand up rather purposefully. I look him over and evaluate my feelings. I’m not awkward around him and I don’t recoil at his touch. Probably because he’s just another version of Jake. But I do have a growing affection for him, having never known what sibling love feels like I can hazard a guess that it feels somewhat like this.
“You can tell my fiancée that I’ve gone to bed. His child is very tiring and having a head on with his psychotic ex took it out of me.” I grin and throw him a little wave as I turn on my heel and head toward the stairs.
“I’m pretty sure when I go interrupt them and tell them his wavering fiancée is teetering unsteadily up the grand stair all alone and overwhelmed with fatigue he will be racing right along.” Arrick’s smiles wickedly, master of manipulating his brother, and I can’t help the little giggle that escapes my lips. Arrick is slowly becoming my second favorite Carrero. I glance down at my stomach.
Okay maybe my third!
* * *
Jake climbs into bed minutes after I do. I’m lying awake staring at the semi-dark ceiling lost in thought when he comes in. He strips off, without looking over, and climbs into bed sliding up against me, pulling me into his arm. I can’t help but smile that he did come swiftly along when Arrick intervened on the drama with his father.
“I’m awake,” I utter quietly, turning toward him so I can face him, melting into his body heat and feeling glorious against him. Its dull in here but not pitch dark so I can see him.
“You okay?” He leans in and kisses me soundly, mouth molding to mine, hand running up my spine delicately. I can’t help the tingles he ignites or the way my inner thighs tense deliciously at his touch.
“Surprisingly fine,” I say when we finally break apart. My desire aching to strip off the rest of his clothes and start licking every inch of that taut smooth tattooed skin. I’m starting to forget why we’re not having sex anymore.
“Really? We should talk about what happened. I want
to know how you’re feeling baby.” Jake sounds concerned but with all that flesh on show I’m a little distracted. Maybe fighting with that bitch has upped my adrenaline or
maybe those naughty hormones are acting up again but
at this very moment I am glued to muscular pecks and a slight masculine scatter of hair at his chest, tickling my nose.
I run my fingers across Jake’s naked torso and along his body up to his throat slowly. Without saying anything I inch myself up so were eye level and move in for a more seductive kiss, letting my tongue slip into his mouth, moving my body so I mold against his in every way. An inner surge of satisfaction when a hardness starts to grow between us, and he pushes me back. Jake certainly has no problem with getting turned on. I think it’s time we explored the next step to forgiveness.
“Emma, we …” I silence him with my fingers on his lips.
“Jake, I’m ready. Don’t keep this from me anymore please. I need you so badly it hurts.” My body is yearning for more and this is the kind of more I need. Somehow facing her, marriage proposals, and acceptance of the baby coming, has kick started a stubbornness in me that we’re going to fix us fully and finally.
I move back against him and sense the hesitation rippling through him as he contemplates whether we should do this or not. I don’t give him any choice and slide my hand into the waist band of his boxers, moving down to encircle him with my fingers, feeling that jolt of surprise come through him. He obviously wasn’t expecting me to start forcefully seducing him, so readily, especially after seeing Demon Bitch and everything she said.
I push my mouth to his and kiss him as passionately as I can, using my hand to fully arouse him in the best way I can. Jake’s catches me around the throat loosely pushing my face back so he can stare into my eyes in the almost pitch-black room intensely.
Without warning he flips me on my back and is instantly over the top of me caging me in. His arms straining at either side of my head. He leans in and kisses me, slowly and softly, my hands still pleasuring him with even strokes and getting impatient. I bite his lip, nipping it hard enough to get a smile from him before he devours me again. His kiss sends searing pleasure through every nerve ending in my body, notching up the fire within me a hundredfold.
He comes down low enough to rub against me and leaves me no choice but to remove my hand from between us. He pushes himself between my legs, now no longer obstructed, opening me up to him fully as he grinds into me seductively. Our bodies connect to match the way our mouths are, passion rising, and Jake is fully immersed in the action. His hands trail over my breasts and downwards. I groan at his touch, at the feelings and sensations I have been crying out for, and now that I’m finally getting what I need, I’m soaring with desire.
Passion ignites inside of me, heat pouring through me at an alarming rate and I push Jake off me, aggressively with a lot more strength than I knew I was capable of. I flip on top of him so I’m straddling him fully and peel off my nightdress and bra and start grinding down on top of him. His hands slide up my body across my abdomen, fingers grazing and exploring me sexually. Hands itching and aching to trace every part of me that has been denied him and I can feel it in the way he caresses me, biting his lip, eyes locked on me with undiluted lust. He covers my breasts tweaking my nipples with harsh grasps that make me throw my head back and gyrate on top of him a little harder.
No shame or embarrassment because this is his body. He’s seen every single inch of me before now, tasted
every single piece of me. His hands skim my ribs and move to my hips, pulling me back and forth to get the routine of my grinding into him more fluidly, his hardness below me trying to force its way through the fabric between us. His hands skim upwards and come to a slow halt as they cover my abdomen. Jake’s face changes from sex crazed to frowning in almost a second and every part of that body physically recoils.
“Fuck.” The instant change in him as his hands drop by his side, catching my legs, lifting me effortlessly off him gently, “Emma, I can’t.”
“What?” I don’t understand. My body is brimming with desire and longing. I’m seconds away from self-combusting and he’s putting the brakes on?! He sits up so his back is turned slightly toward me.
What the hell, Jake?
“I can’t do this! Shit!” Jake slides away and gets out of bed, adjusting himself in his boxers, walking off toward the en suite at a fast pace.
“Jake what the hell?!” I snap after him, suddenly self-conscious, hauling the bed sheets over my naked upper half, the shame of rejection coursing through me. A sob hits my throat as I’m filled with self-doubt but Jake spins at the bathroom door.
“It’s the baby, Emma … As soon as I touched your stomach it’s all I could think about and the fact I’d be fucking you while it was in there. It’s weird. Not to mention it can’t be safe!” He sounds angry, and tense, and annoyed at himself mostly. He switches on the bathroom light and flops back against the door frame, running an agitated hand through his hair, looking completely devastated. I just gape at him in shock.
“You’re kidding, right? You haven’t touched me in a month and now you don’t actually want to because I’m pregnant?” I can’t contain the hurt in my voice, or the complete disbelief and he stalks back to me immediately.
“Jesus, Emma. I want to have sex with you right now so bad, I just can’t.” He holds up despairing hands, that perfect muscular body so ripe to be devoured by me yet denying me of what I really want, what I need. The anger inside of me spikes.
“Yes, you can.” I grab his hand and haul it back to my breast, forcing him to cup it loosely, but he makes no effort to try and lets his arm flop back down. No effort whatsoever.
“I can’t,” he repeats in deflation, eyes downcast, and he looks miserable.
Well that makes two of us!
“I’m sure pregnant women have sex every day, Jake. You’re being ridiculous. It’s not in the same place and it’s sure as hell not going to hurt something that’s barely the size of a bean right now.” I pout, close to frustrated tears and burning up with need, almost painfully. That inner crazy hormonal me, being denied sex, is back with a vengeance.
Jake leans in and kisses my temple slowly and surely. He’s trying to smooth my ruffled feathers and balm my feelings but it’s not going to work.
“I can’t touch you until we see your doctor, Emma, and hear it straight from her. All I can think about right now is how much I just can’t.” He frowns at me apologetically and tries to embrace me with a soft cuddle instead.
I pick up the cushion from the bed and shove it into his chest angrily, so he moves away.
“You’re an ass,” I snap, sexual frustration hitting me hard, aware of how completely unreasonable I’m being. I don’t care though. I feel like after everything this is like getting a massive slap in the face. I want him, I need him in that way, and he isn’t even trying to give it to me.
“Jesus, stroppy. Hormones so bad you’re that pissed at me right now?” He tries to sound jokey and lighthearted, but I just scowl at him.
“You have no fucking idea!” I turn away angrily, throwing myself down on the bed, slinging an arm across my face in complete frustration. Jake stills on the bed for a moment then he slides off and saunters over to turn off the bathroom light.
Probably trying to figure out how to make this up to me without any fucking sex!
Un-goddamn believable. A whole month of nothing and now I’m offering it on a plate and he just can’t?! Where the hell is the sex-crazed Jake that I’m crazy over?!
He slides into bed while I try to get my crazy mood
under control, disappointment surging through me at an alarming rate.
“Did we really get engaged tonight, Emma?” Jake’s husky voice comes close in the dark and my anger dissipates a little at his question. I sigh and push the traces of my mood deep down. He’s trying misdirection. His favorite maneuver. I guess he’s good at it because it’s working. I blow out an agitated breath and slide my arm down, so I can stare at the ceiling for a few agonizing minutes to calm down.
I can’t be mad at him over this.
“I know it wasn’t exactly some romantic blow your mind moment, but I meant it. Something inside of me just stopped running and decided to stand and fight … To fight for you.” I turn on my side and watch him in the dark. His hand comes to trail down my shoulder and arm, slowly and tenderly. I flinch because my skin is still burning with desire and his touch isn’t exactly helping right now, but I stay where I am and don’t pull away.
“You know it was probably the best moment of my life, but I still want to ask you properly, Emma … Can I do that? My way? I don’t know, somehow, it just doesn’t feel official.” He’s watching his fingers trail my skin hypnotically. I can’t help but give up on the rest of my anger when watching him. So still and beautiful and wholly irresistible, with that little boy lost look, asking me for permission. I sigh.
“You mean fireworks and a floor show?” I smirk, reaching out to run my nails across his chest lightly, the ache to have his body still coursing through me despite knowing there is nothing I can do about it.
“You’d expect nothing less from Jake Carrero CEO, commandeering, bossy, cocky, asshole! I need to put a ring on your finger anyway, might as well make the most of the moment I do.” He beams at me and I know I’m completely beaten.
Something changed within me tonight, some shift of the axis, some inner defining moment that I’m still not sure of but I know one thing, this is it for me. No matter what he did, it doesn’t matter anymore. I know he’ll never hurt me like that again and I need to stop hurting him. We have done this to each other and it’s time to stop. We have someone else to think about now and it’s growing inside of me, slowly but surely, already starting to affect our life and relationship with its mere presence. Our relationship has changed somehow, no more sexy games or misunderstandings, no more pandering around what we meant or felt. We are growing as a couple.
The other stuff will come back naturally. Maybe he really does just need that piece of mind that he won’t harm our child. I can’t exactly be mad at the gentle caring protective side of Jake that most people don’t even know exists.
How can I stay angry when at the heart of his inability to touch me is love for our unborn child?
I sigh and cuddle closer, resigning myself to the idea of this being temporary. He better damn well give me some crazy, hot, kinky sex as soon as someone puts his mind at ease.