Chapter 203: Mom

Rachel's POV

Logan guided me out of the building, pressing my face onto his big, broad body. His palms clasped tight against my ears.

Though he blocked my eyes and ears off from the carnage that must have happened. But not my nose from the smell.

The coppery and almost sulfuric tang of blood lingered in the air, stinging my nostrils, making my lungs almost twitch with irritation. I squeezed my nose onto itself to keep myself from sneezing.

The cool night's air brushed over my arms and neck as we got outside—cool and soothing. A big contrast to the turmoil raging inside of me, squeezing my chest tight, I felt aches everywhere. The heat consumed me deep from the inside, making my legs so weak he had to guide them with his own legs to move properly.

I didn't want to forget them—Draco and Logan. But I have to. That was the best thing to do. That's the only thing that can save me from this endless heartache.

Logan eventually released his hands from my ears. I withdrew from his body, blinking my eyes as I took them on a quiet tour of where we were.

Overhead, the moon was a bit bright and silvery, casting a dark veil over the sky, only punctured by bright twinkling stars. But all around us was darkness, almost blurring out even the large farmhouse.

I figured they had deliberately killed all available lights so I wouldn't glimpse any corpse. Though my nostrils could very well pick up on the coppery tang still wafting in the air from the farmhouse.

I looked up to Logan, taking in the richness of his icy blue eyes in the darkness. I slipped him a smile for the trouble. “Thank you, Logan.”

He made a smile with just his lips. “You don't need to thank me, Rachel.” He replied.

He leaned forward and past me. He pulled open the car door. “Let's go, Rachel.”

I let my gaze drift from him to the car, and I shook my head. “I don't think I can enter the car with you both. I have to leave on my own.” I said, forcing a smile at Draco too as he strode into our midst.

Draco stepped forward, his eyes dank as his gaze roamed me, his eyes veiled by something watery—but he blinked them away before I could glimpse much. “I cannot let you leave, Rachel. What if something bad happens to you again? How do we find you?” he said.

“I assume Luca is dead now. He is the only person who will want to abduct me.” I replied. I blinked away the memory of the gunshot I had heard in the room when it suddenly stung my mind. Though I hadn't seen the body, I had pictured his death in my head with those gunshots. Instead of being repulsed, strangely all I had felt was calm—washing through my veins. I was finally safe.

“Just please come with us, Rachel. I promise to make things right.” Draco swore.

I shook my head gently in disapproval. "No!" I couldn't trust his promise. Mom will always be his wife, and I will always remain the outsider. Leaving was the best and only solution.

He reached for me, but his arm froze midway. He retracted his fingers, throwing them instead into his hair. “Just don't go, Rachel. I really promise to choose you this time.” He paced about on the spot.

Logan opened the door wider. “Let's go home, Rachel.” He forced me another smile.

I couldn't return it this time. “That is no longer my home, Logan.” I replied, pulling away from his gaze. It wasn’t a home any longer to me. Now it's hell to me. I had no place there again. I was always going to be the outsider.

Logan grunted. He clenched his teeth hard against themselves. The sides of his jaw bulged. “Just please, get in, Rachel. Let's discuss this anywhere else but here.” He grunted the words from his lips. He threw his eyes to the empty and abandoned wooden ranches around us before the farmhouse to enunciate his point.

“There is nothing to discuss, Logan. You guys should just forget we ever met. Let's forget each other. That is the best thing to do.” I said. I turned away from him. My shoes brushed through the low undergrowth as I walked towards the unpaved village road.

Logan grunted again—sharper this time. His voice whipped the air behind me. I turned, and his fingers clasped around my wrists. He pulled me fast to his big, broad body. His sudden jerk of me snapped my head up. I was staring into his icy blue pair before I knew I was.

I knew that move too well after years of loving him—that sudden pull, that jerk of my head so that my eyes were staring right into his. He was trying to seduce me. Yet, I couldn't take my eyes off his. Instead, I swallowed hard and long as I held the look from his piercing blue eyes.

“I know I shouldn't have said that to you then. I was stupid then. So let's go home, Rachel, and discuss this better.”

“We have nothing to dis—” he pressed his thumb on my lips. The tender warmth from his thumb shushing me up more than the weight.

His eyes still drilling right into mine, I couldn't look away. His eyes compelled mine just to look at his.

“Believe me, Rachel. If I have to seduce you right here and now to leave with me. Then I damn well will. I do not intend to lose you.” he said. “So just come with us, and let's try to work something out,” he said, sounding genuine—true and sure.

But could I really trust his words, even though they tugged at my heart, making it beat harder against my chest with the thought to stay? Would he abandon me when next Mom says he should? My lips moved, twitching open. I wanted to scream yes to him. But I remembered what heartache awaited that decision.

I dragged my eyes reluctantly from him. I turned away once again for the village road. “I am sorry, Logan.”

I dragged my legs to leave. His hands still clasped around my wrists, drawing me back. I sailed over the grasses back to him.

I gasped loudly, my voice shrill. My eyes stretched wide over my head as I was lifted off the ground. “Stop, Logan. Let me go!” I screamed, beating my arms against his chest. He just scooped me into his arms.

“I told you I am not accepting you leaving, Rachel. I am taking you to seduce that thought out of your head.” He grinned at me. Now he did it with all his face. I felt my lips almost twitch for a smile at him. I shouldn't, I shouldn't. I shook my head. Then I steeled my face back for a stronger frown. I slammed my arms on his chest and shoved my legs in the air so he would let me go.

But he held me so tight that I couldn't break away, yet so tenderly that I felt the warmth of his arms and body seeping through me.

“How about we make a deal?” He said, a naughty twinkle lit up his eyes as they rested fully on my face.

I relax a bit in his arms. My brow hung high on my head. “What deal?”

“If after I seduce you, and you still think about leaving, then you can leave. Because the only reason you can still leave then is if I am lacking in that skill.”

I relaxed my brow on him. “That isn't a deal. We both know I can't win against that.” I replied.

“Then that means you are staying then,” his lips stretched further as his grin grew.

I had no idea I had stopped fighting him to let me go. I turned to see Draco pulling the door wider for Logan to carry me in.

Draco's wide shoulders were droopy as if he was having trouble carrying them. His eyes, furrowed and centered on me, were hard as Logan steered me into the car. His chin trembling, hands quivering on the car door.

“Thank hell you are staying now, Rachel.” He said almost half-heartedly, his look sullen. He looked like he wanted me to stay because of him and not Logan.

But who said I was staying? I wasn't. I resumed the shoving of my legs against Logan's arms, but he just chuckled. “You are already in the car. Why not just relax?”

“I can't,” I snapped at him. “Because you are kidnapping me.” I frowned harder now. I shoved harder at his legs and arms as he sat down in the car. But he just won't let go. He didn't even drop me to sit on the car. He held me tight in his arms.

“Remember, Rachel, we have a deal.”

“We don't,” I snapped. “I never agreed to it,”

“Where is your competitive spirit?” he teased.

“A deal where you hold all the cards isn't a deal. And this…” I carried my eyes around the car and his arms around me, my lips curled slightly with forced disgust. “...is kidnapping.”

“Call it whatever name you like to call it, Rachel, but I am not letting you leave. You are the only woman I have come to love. I can't give that up so easily.”

For a moment I just couldn't say anything but stare at the naughty, mischievous smile that lit up his face. He loves me. He openly admitted to loving me. Not that he thinks he does. But he actually does.

Heat burned my cheeks as my eyes lingered on him.

I shuddered, touching my cheeks and feeling the heat on them. Hell no! I haven't just blushed before him, have I?

I wore back my frown immediately, moving my lips to snap at him again. He leaned forward and pressed his lips firmly on mine.

I should push him away, but like a fool, I submitted completely to his kiss. He laid me carefully on the seat beside him, his lips still firm on mine.

At the same time, the car moved around me. Still, I couldn't bring myself to push him away from me. Rather, I submitted to the hungry demands of his lips.

I had no idea for how long we had kissed, but he eventually pulled away from my lips. By then, my lips were swollen and dripping with his saliva.

His lips stretched wider. “We are home, Rachel.”

“What—” I gasped.

He slipped me another grin. He shoved his hands beneath my neck and knees, lifting me into his arms, and carried me down with him.

The moment we dropped on the cobblestone walkway, my eyes met with Mom’s. Our toffee-brown pairs looked right into each other’s. And she ran down the porch to us.

“Rachel!” she screamed, her face brightening with a smile.

She stopped just before us, and she sighed hard and long, as if expending every inch of her lungs in the task.

Her hands squeezed each other before her. She was nearer now, so I had a clearer view of those eyes that looked just like mine and that face that hinted at what I’ll probably look like in twenty years from now.

She was my mom. She'd endured so much because of me. She was the biggest reason why I could draw breath into my lungs and live, yet she was also the reason why my heart ached so badly.

I saw in her eyes that hers ached too. Why did this even have to happen? Why should I have to fall in love with the same men she loved? Tears stained my eyes, but I blinked them away.

“I am sorry, my princess,” she whispered, her tone soft and gentle. She moved to take me from Logan's arms.

Logan swept me out of her reach, walking past her and carrying me into the house. I peered over Logan's shoulder to her.

Her eyes were tight, her chin trembling as they followed Logan's back while he carried me to the mansion.

She was hurting. Hurting because of me. Yet, I could do nothing. I couldn't even drop from Logan’s arms and run to her because—truthfully—I wanted these men. I wanted Logan and Draco—I loved them. Why did the universe have to be this cruel to us?

Draco went to meet her. “We need to talk now, Mariah. I have tried to avoid it, but we definitely need to talk now. Join us in Rachel's room in ten minutes. We need to make things right. I need to make things right." He said to her, but her eyes were still on Logan and me.

She eventually pulled her eyes from us. She nodded her head, turning to Draco. “Okay, Draco. I am coming. Give me some time to change,” she whispered to him. She whipped her face from him, walking with her head bowed low after us for the mansion.

I was watching her so intently that I spotted a drop of tear drop down her cheeks to the floor, even with how well she hid it with her head bowed.

I should drop down from Logan's arms and go comfort her. Tell her that I wouldn't be stealing the men she loved from her. But I couldn't. Instead, I sunk deeper into Logan's arms, taking my eyes from her. But the image of her crying burned fresh in my mind. I blinked off the tears that stained my eyes too, and I grabbed at my chest to keep back the ache threatening to rip me apart from the inside.

Logan took me to my room. He laid me on the bed. I turned away from him on the bed before he could glimpse the tears staining my eyes.

The bed pressed down under his weight as he sat beside me. He leaned so low to me, I heard him speak just above my ear. “What's wrong, Rachel?” He asked gently.

“Nothing!” I answered.

Perhaps he’d read the tone of my voice and realized I wanted to be alone. The bed relaxed more under me as he rose from behind me.

There was the noise of footsteps and then a slight squeal from the armchair beside the bed as he sank into it.

The door squealed open, and someone strode in—Draco. His footsteps heavy as he walked to me—to the bed.

I had no idea what communication must have passed between him and Logan, but his footsteps stopped. He grunted, and he sank into another sofa in the room.

A loud yet fragile silence festered between us for what seemed like an hour. I turned on the bed in time to see Draco snap up from his seat.

“Mariah is taking too long,” he grunted. He slipped me a careful smile as he went for the door. I widened my lips in a smile back at him.

He dragged his feet almost reluctantly as he walked out of the room, barely shutting the door behind him.

Five minutes after he left, a primal scream tore down the whole manor. Logan and I started off our respective seats—we both recognized the scream, traded curious stares—Draco.

The scream came again, harder and louder than before. Logan jumped from his seat and charged fast out of the room.

My heart thundered hard against my chest as I ran after him. I couldn't shake off the feeling that something bad had happened. My legs were weak, shaking terribly under me. I forced more strength into them as I ran down the corridor.

The scream seemed to be coming from Mother’s room.

I froze just at the door, cold shivers whacking through every inch of me. I shuddered as I gripped the door tight. The wood almost chipped off under my nails.

Mom lay in Draco's arm, as he'd pulled her to him. Her eyes closed shut, her face deadly white. Her fingers were folded on the remnant of pills she must have overdosed on.

My fingers slipped on the door. I slumped hard to the floor. Logan wasn't wrong. She was crazy enough to carry out her threat. This was all my fault. I shouldn't have fallen in love with the same men she loved.