Chapter 45 I Miss Him.
"Thanks for tonight. I had fun," Steph says softly to Luke, avoiding eye contact. After she told him -- more like lied to him, they left the restaurant and he drove her home.
"I'm glad you did," Luke replies. "I had fun too. Hopefully, we can do this again some other time."
I doubt that, Steph thinks but she doesn't voice the thought.
"Yeah," she lies yet again.
"Feel better, Steph."
She finally faces him and makes eye contact, smiling a little. "Thanks."
Luke returns the smile as he stares at her. She stares right back. He begins to lean closer to her and she begins to panic.
He wants to kiss me!
He wants to kiss me!
Aaahhhhh!
'Isn't that what you've always wanted?' Her subconscious asks her.
Her answer to that question is yes but right now that it's about to happen, she doesn't want it to.
But before she can do anything to stop what she thinks is about to happen, Luke's lips meet her left cheek lightly before he leans back to his original position and smiles at her.
She doesn't know why but a blush creeps up her neck to her cheeks under his gaze so she looks away.
Thank God he kissed me on my cheek and here I was, panicking.
Luke's smile turns into a grin on seeing the shade her cheeks have decided to take. "You're cute."
"T-Thanks. Goodnight Luke. Thanks again for tonight." She says as she opens the door.
"You're welcome."
Steph exits his car, shuts the door, and waves as she watches him drive away.
She sighs as she heads in.
Her mum opens the door as she gets onto the front porch. She must have heard Luke's car.
"Hey, honey. You're home earlier than I thought," she says as she ushers her only daughter in. "How was your date?"
"It was nice," Steph replies as she heads into the living room. She doesn't see her dad so she asks her mum about him.
"He's already in bed. He had a little headache so I forced him to go to bed."
"Oh okay. I'm off to bed. Goodnight mum." Steph hugs her mum. She heads for the staircase but her mum's voice stops her.
"Stephanie? Is something wrong?"
Steph turns around, a little taken aback because her mum has never been very observant.
Is it that obvious?
She smiles. "No, mum. Nothing's wrong. I guess I'm just a little tired."
Even though her mum looks unconvinced, she doesn't push.
"Okay then. Go to bed. Sleep tight."
"Thanks, Mum. Did Brody tell you he'll be home soon for Christmas break?"
A smile appears on her mum's face. "Yes, he did. You're excited, aren't you?"
"I can't wait. I miss him so much."
"I miss him too, honey. Run along now and get some sleep."
"Goodnight Mum," Steph says as she begins her journey up the stairs. When she finally gets to her room, she takes off her shoe and jacket before plopping herself on her bed, facing the ceiling. She doesn't know why she feels a little weak like energy has been drained from her.
Is she about to come down with something?
Could it be Karma paying her back for lying to Luke?
Her conscience is still eating at her for doing that. She decides to call Brooke. She doesn't think she can bottle up how she feels anymore. The lid is about to burst open and she feels like she won't be able to take it so she decides to tell her best friend.
They do say a problem shared is a problem half solved.
She gets her phone, turns around on her bed, dials Brooke's number, and puts the phone to her ear. Brooke answers on the first ring as if she has been patiently waiting for her to call.
"Hey, baby girl! How was your date?" Brooke's chirpy voice says.
Steph has told her to stop calling her that but Brooke being the stubborn girl that she is, hasn't stopped. Steph feels like saying it again but she just sighs, allowing it to slide.
"It was good."
"Just good? Did you guys kiss?"
Steph stays silent for a moment after that question.
"Hello? You still there?" Brooke yells into the phone.
Steph pulls the phone away from her ear as she winces. "Geez! Can your voice get any louder?"
She hears Brooke laugh. "Sorry. Wait, are you okay, Steph?"
"I'm fine."
"You didn't answer my question," Brooke deadpans.
"We didn't kiss. Well, he kissed me on the cheek not the lips, and honestly....." Steph trails off, dreading Brooke's reaction to what she's about to say next.
"What?"
"I didn't want him to kiss me on the lips. I was mentally panicking when I thought he was about to," Steph admits.
"Why? I thought it's something you've been dreaming about since you started to like him?"
"Yes, B. It is.....well, was. I don't even know what's wrong with me," Steph groans in a frustrated tone.
"Steph, I need you to calm down and take a deep breath. What the hell is going on? How are you feeling?"
"I don't exactly know what or how I'm feeling, B. All I know is that since Chris confessed his feelings to me, I haven't been able to get my mind off it," Steph reveals.
Brooke lets out a breath from the other line. "You still think he was lying....."
"I don't want to," Steph cuts in. "I don't want to but part of me still does."
"What part?"
"Like 5% of me believes he was just kidding."
"And the other 95%?" Brooke questions, obviously smiling.
"Wants to believe him. I just need to talk to him, B. I need to know."
"You should talk to him."
"I haven't been able to get my mind off it no matter how hard I try. I've been thinking about it and him all week. The fact that he's avoiding me is only making things worse for me. I don't even want to imagine how awkward it would have been with him if I babysat Emily this week. He doesn't even sit beside me in class anymore. I lied to Luke during our dinner date because I just wanted to leave. I didn't think it was fair that I was on a date with him and yet I was thinking about another guy. It's frustrating, you know. He doesn't have the right to do that. He just said all those stuff and disappeared. I feel like I'm going insane thinking about it and the worst part of all this is that......I miss him."
Brooke who has been silent, listening to Steph's rant lets out an excited squeal that has Steph wondering why she decided to tell her crazy best friend.
"Oh, God!"
Music is blaring.
People are dancing and drinking.
People are making out, hooking up, grinding, and whatnot.
They're just having the time of their lives.
And that's what Chris is supposed to be doing also but he isn't. He can't even bring himself to.
He's just seated in a corner, watching and observing the crowd -- something he usually doesn't do; but here he is on a Friday night, at a party doing exactly that.
It's not that he wants to be this way. Like he said, he can't just bring himself to act like the people he's surrounded by. He can't act like anything is worrying him, like he has no care in the world. He has tried -- he really has. He has tried not to be like this, not to feel how he feels but all his effort have been fruitless.
This whole week has been shitty for him.
Hearing about Steph's date with Luke, confessing his feelings to her, and avoiding her in general.
It's been crappy.
He didn't even want to come to this party but he decided to since he was looking for some sort of distraction to help him get his mind off Steph. But nothing is enough distraction to get his mind off her.
When he sees her in the hallways at school, all he wants to do is walk up to her and chat as they used to do. In the classes they share, all he wants to do is sit beside her to whisper things as he used to do but he just can't bring himself to.
He has been trying to get her out of his head but he hasn't been able to. She's living rent-free in his head.
He knew things won't go the way he wanted when he told her how he felt but honestly, he felt like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders after he told her. But as the week progressed, there were days he wished he had never told her. Things would have been the same if he hadn't opened up his stupid mouth and spilled his guts to her. He knew he had no chance with her, still doesn't.
He's shocked enough that someone like him ended up having feelings for someone like her. According to social standards, he's supposed to go for girls like him -- popular and all that. Someone like poison Ivy; but look what happened there.
It would be more shocking if she falls for him. That'll probably happen on the 31st of February in Neverland because she seemed to hate his guts when they first met; damn she didn't even wanna talk to him and she detested -- probably still does -- his Playboy ways.
She's probably on that date right now.
Has she even thought of him since Monday?
She probably only thinks about Luke -- her dream guy.
While he's here going crazy with her on his mind, she's probably thinking about another guy.
For the first time ever, Chris envies Luke. He's jealous that he has Steph's heart without even trying.
Maybe if he is like Luke, Steph will give him a chance or even like him already. It's now he wishes he didn't let what happened with his dad and she who shall not be mentioned turn him into that.....that man-whore that hooks up with girls without even bothering to know their names and moves on to the next.
He hates Poison Ivy even more at this moment. Now that he thinks of it, she's probably proud that she broke his heart and hurt him so much that he has never thought of being with any other girl. Up until now.
That means he'd let her win all this while and it makes him sick. She got to move on but he didn't. He wishes he never met her. If he could turn back the hands of time, he'd never let himself get close to her let alone ask her out. Instead, he'd invest all that in Stephanie or some other girl that deserves him.
Fuck, he feels really stupid right now.
But the thing about life is that even though you can't go back to prevent yourself from making those mistakes, you learn from them.
Coming out tonight was a mistake.
Distraction?
Pfft! Nothing has been able to distract him from having thoughts about her, not even the hottest girls. They can bring a model to him right now and ask him to date her but he'll still prefer Stephanie. She's the only one that matters to him right now. To him, she's the most beautiful girl and he'll pick her over all these girls throwing themselves at him.
Of course, Jason and Max know why he's been like this all week. They've tried to talk him into actually talking with Steph after his confession but he refused to. They're doing all they can to make him feel better and Chris appreciates them. They had suggested having a Bros night at Jason's house. Food, video games, action movies, and more food.
But Chris turned it down. They then suggested they have fun at the party together. No girls were involved but Chris declined again. He didn't want them ditching their girlfriends for him. They reluctantly agreed and that's why he's here observing without them because they're somewhere with their girlfriends.
Chris sighs before taking the last swig from his beer bottle. He heads for the kitchen, weaving through the bodies to get another bottle for himself.
Although the blaring of the music and noise of the crowd can't get his mind off Steph; he still prefers being here than cooped up in his room. It'll be worse in there so he doesn't have any plans of going home soon.
~The next morning~
Chris jolts awake in a daze, wondering what the hell woke him up when he sees that he's alone in his room.
Then he hears it. The doorbell rings and he winces. He came home before 1 am -- way earlier than he planned. He was drunk so Jason dropped him off. He was out like a light the moment his body met his bed.
He checks the time and wonders who's ringing the doorbell at 7 am on a Saturday. He makes his way downstairs in his hungover and groggy state, hoping the doorbell hasn't woken his mum and sister up. But unlike him, they're heavy sleepers so he doubts that.
He opens the door and the hand that was about to press the doorbell pauses mid-air. The person standing on his porch shocks all the grogginess out of him and makes him blink twice to be sure.
"W-What are you doing here?"