fucked up

Orion’s p.o.v

It was silent for a while after I made that declaration, I could see the gears turning in her head as she thought of what I said to her. ‘oh what I would give to be in her head right now’ I thought to myself.

“Astrid” I called, looking at her, unable to stop the feeling of wanting to be closer to her. I needed to hold her in my hands and find a way to convince her that I was serious about my feelings, but also reassure that I did not force her into doing what she did not want. “can I get closer now?” she said nothing,

“Astrid” I stood up from the chair slowly, so as not to frighten her. “Astrid?” I took a step closer to her.

'“ i am going to take it that you did not mind me coming close to you if you dnt say anything.” i felt my sweaty palms as i walked to her. I did not think i could take another one of her screams, rejecting me from her presence.

She said nothing as i came close to me. “Astrid” I called, this time by her footstep. She looked shocked when she saw me near her bed. ‘she was lost in thought’ i thought to myself as i watched her jerk as i placed a hand on her

“what are you"…” i did not wait for her to say any other thing as i knew damned well that she was going to make me go back all the way to the door side to create space between us but i could not, not right now, so i did the only thing that i think of.

I kissed her.

I used my lips at her lips, parting it but not fully. “mhgph” a grunt was muffled by the kiss. A grunt made by me, but i did not stop, i could not,

Her warm lips called for me in ways that i could not explain. “Orion!” she called/moaned as i left her lips to attend to her neck, worshiping it with my lips like it was meant to. “Orion stop!” she said but her body said other things as she gripped my shirt, leaving no room between us.

“s..stop” she called, a little clearer this time but i was far too gone to even understand what she was saying. I felt a boost of my powers, enough to shove her to lay on the bed, but not in an aggressive way.

I went down on her neck, leaving trails of me as i gave temporary markings to her neck.

“K..KARIN!!!!” she yelled at the top of her lungs with unadulterated fear laced in her voice but i could not stop myself, not that i tried though. I slammed the door locked with my powers, in order to prevent Karin from entering the room even if she did hear her name being called.

“Orion” she called, sounding a bit out of breath “i.. i think we are going too fast” she muttered close to my ear, causing me to groan as her hot breath fanned my ear

“you can’t do that!” i groaned, placing my hands on her neck as though wanting to choke her but not enough that i would actually restrict her air flow. I found myself nibbling on her neck in the part where i was going to mark her “finally, we would be bonded and..”

“NO!!!” she yelled, shoving me away but i was stronger than her so i easily overpowered her, putting her in her place “ORION!!” just as she screamed my name, the door flew open, actually coming off its hinges and then i was no longer on Astrid. I was somewhere at the other side of the room, blinking rapidly to get rid of the lust that had overcame me

“THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!!!!” Karin said, looking pissed of.

“i got carried away, she liked it and…” i looked to Astrid who looked shaken.

“you only get one chance Orion” she reminded me in a stern but low voice, so that it was just the me that heard it.

I felt the hot tears stream down my face which I tried to hide as i looked at my sister and back to Astrid ‘why did i always have to fuck it up’ i thought as i felt the burning in my throat. I opened my mouth to apologize but she turned her back to me, facing Astrid.

“are you okay?” she said with a lot more kindness than she had ever used on me, but in that moment, i did not mind.

She nodded, causing Karin to hug her tightly. '“i am sorry” she said in a low voice. “it is the effect of choosing a partner. Its in our nature. He would have heightened emotions around a while but you don’t have to worry, i would make sure that this does not affect you.” she said hugging her tightly, her voice a little more comforting that it made you want to bring down your walls around her.

“he…” Astrid started but then looked at my face and then said nothing, effectively avoiding my gaze. It hurt, it hurt a lot. I did not know what to say. And just like that, i was back to the beginning.

“it does not mater, i told you that i would not have you in danger now, did i not?” she only nodded. I doubted she actually understood what was happening i placed myself on her that way.

I did that? I looked around, hoping to see another person, but no. I was all alone at the other side of the room. I was the cause of her being shaken up… the thought itself put a bitter taste in mouth.

Karin said some other sweet words but i was lost in the thread of self-hate nut said nothing as Karin put Astrid to rest, by now she had calmed down by a whole lot.

I was pulled out of the room rather aggressively, facing a rather angry Karin in the hallway, away from earshot of the ward.

“WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!!!!!”