Chapter 162
Kitty
I rest my head back on the golden oak rocking chair that Jett bought for the nursery as Belle nurses on me. My eyes are heavy and tired, but it is worth it. Belle is worth it. I never realized how much having a baby would change my perspective on literally everything. She has awakened a protective instinct in me that I never knew I had before my little girl came into the world.
“Mommy will always protect you, sweetheart. You are my entire heart, and I will love you always.” She seems content latched onto my left breast as I rock to and fro in the chair. It’s three in the morning, and Jett is fast asleep in bed. I have to admit that I love this time of the day with Belle. It’s peaceful, the blinds are open, and all you can see is a dark sky with the stars. Here up in the cabin, you can see stars for miles. I can’t wait for Belle to be amazed by them and to learn the constellations. Her, Jett and I are going to have the best adventures of our lives together. This is a dream come true.
“You alright there?” Jett’s voice makes me open my eyes and gives me a slight start. He looks too good standing there in bare feet and tight boxer shorts. His leg muscles are ripped, as are his abs. I’m not surprised. Jett has, with the help of his guys, built a gym which he uses every morning from six until seven thirty, followed by a run for five to six miles. He has also installed a kick bag. I have my eyes on using that too.
“This is so beautiful, Jett. You, Belle, and I here in the cabin, a home we can be in forever.”
He nods as he walks towards where I am nursing my baby girl, and goes down on his haunches. “You are beautiful, baby. You and Belle. Dammit, I feel choked up nearly all the time when I see both of you together. I don’t know how I got so lucky, or what I deserved to be this lucky.”
His voice is full of emotion as he strokes his little girl's cherub cheeks. Life right now is perfect and all because of this god of a man in front of me. He has made our lives special. He is the one who has provided a home for us, built an entire extension, and ensured that my life was saved not just once but on several occasions.
Belle finishes, Jett takes her carefully from me and stands with her against his shoulder as he rubs her back gently to burp her. Watching him with our daughter is too much. I want to cry with happiness, my heart squeezes as I see this big man with tattoos up and down his arms, across his chest and on his thighs, holding his tiny baby daughter. From the small, round table near the rocking chair, I pick up my mobile, which is playing a lullaby, and snap a picture of the two of them together.
He mouths, “I love you, Kitty-Kat to me.”
“Thank you, Jett, for giving this life to me.”
Belle nuzzles her small face into her daddy’s shoulder, and I swear to God, I am a goner for life. Nothing can ever erase these moments from my life. Nothing in the world is as precious as this bubble I am living in with Belle and Jett.
Jett places her in the crib and rocks it lightly. I watch as he leans down and places a kiss to her forehead. “Sleep tight, little Belle-the-beautiful.”
Oh, my heart. It squeezes tightly.
He reaches for my hand and pulls me up to him, using his finger and thumb to bring my chin up. When he kisses me, it is full of love and tenderness like a feather brushing over my lips. “Come on, sweetheart. You need to go to bed and get some rest. Did you express so I can do the next feed?”
I nod. His kisses still leave me breathless, and no matter how exhausted I am from being up and feeding Belle every few hours, my body and my mind always want him.
The last week has been exhausting; I’m not going to lie. I’d not change a thing. Being a mum is both exhilarating and frightening. Not going to lie, I am scared shitless of the responsibility. My mom assures me that everything I am going through, however, is absolutely normal. She has warned me that this will never change. I will always question everything I say and do.
I hold Jett’s hand lightly as I bend down and kiss her on the cheek. “I never want to leave her, Jett.”
“I know, sweet-cheeks. Me neither.” We both stand over Belle’s crib just looking at her, drinking in her perfection, from her cupid bow lips, her long dark eyelashes and those tiniest of fingers curling.
Back in our bedroom, I get under the covers as Jett slides in next to me. He wraps an arm around me, bringing me into him. I swing a leg over his thick thighs and rest my arm across his rock-hard stomach. “I love you so damn much, Kitty. I never knew what real love was until I found you.”
“Do you think we will be good parents, Jett. It scares me. What if I make the wrong decisions or upset her one day and she wants nothing to do with me, as I did with my father?”
He kisses my head. “Kitty, baby, don’t ever compare yourself to that asshole. Fuck, woman, it irks me that he is Belle’s grandfather and wants to be part of her life. You and he are not the same. Sweetheart, you are your mother. Full of love and compassion. Your heart and your soul are good, Kitty. You are and will be the most amazing mother. Trust me, baby. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. You and I, we are a team. We will figure all of this parenting out.”
He could be right there. I mean, this man has every parenting book you can imagine. And he reads me stuff on a regular basis. The man is fast becoming a walking encyclopedia of parenting.
“Thank you, Jett. That means a lot to me that you think that.”
“Now, get some sleep, woman, otherwise my dick is going to want to slide inside you.”
I giggle. “Now, wouldn’t that be a thing?”