Chapter 188: Special Chapter 7: I Failed

The journey back to House of Caedex passed in silence. I could no longer remember how many times I had stumbled along the road, nor how many servants had crossed my path. Faces blurred together. Voices faded into meaningless noise. None of them mattered.

The only thing I remained aware of was the weight in my arms.

Lady Euphyllia rested against my chest exactly as she had countless times before whenever exhaustion claimed her during long rides home.

Only this time... she did not wake.

I carried her through the front gates without slowing. The servants who happened to witness us stopped where they stood, their greetings dying upon their lips before they could even utter them. One by one, horror spread across their faces until quiet sobs gradually echoed throughout the manor.

No one questioned me.

No one needed to.

The answer lay plainly before them.

I entered the drawing room and lowered her carefully onto the sofa nearest the windows. My movements were slow, deliberate, as though any unnecessary haste might somehow disturb the peaceful expression she now wore.

Her hair had dried unevenly during the journey back. I gently tucked several damp strands behind her ear before drawing the blanket resting over the sofa across her body.

She always complained about catching cold after getting soaked by the rain.

The memory came so naturally that my hand lingered upon the blanket long after I had finished arranging it.

"My Lady."

The words escaped me before I realized I had spoken.

There was no answer. Only silence.

I remained kneeling beside her. I could not bring myself to move away.

Somewhere within the manor, servants hurried from one corridor to another. Someone had already been sent to inform Lord Esteban that his daughter had returned.

Returned.

The word itself felt unbearably cruel. The sound of hurried footsteps echoed from the entrance hall.

Then another.

Then frantic voices.

The heavy doors burst open with enough force that they struck the walls.

"Euphyllia!"

It was Lord Esteban.

I had never heard his voice sound like that before.

He stumbled into the room, still wearing the same garments he had been imprisoned in. Dirt stained the hem of his robes, while angry red marks circled both wrists where the iron shackles had only recently been removed. His eyes searched the room desperately until they found her.

Everything else ceased to exist.

His steps faltered. "No..." The whisper barely escaped him. "No..." He crossed the remaining distance in staggering steps before collapsing onto his knees beside the sofa. Both hands trembled violently as they reached for her face. "My little moon..." His voice cracked before the words could fully leave him. "No... no..." He cupped her cheeks with such tenderness that it seemed impossible those same hands were trembling so violently. "You promised Father you'd come home." A broken laugh escaped him. "You always kept your promises." His shoulders shook. "So why..." His forehead lowered against hers. "...why not this one?"

The grief that followed stripped away every title he had ever carried. He was no longer the respected master of House of Caedex. No longer the greatest merchant within the territory. No longer a noble admired throughout the kingdom.

He was simply... a father.

One whose entire world had just been placed lifeless within his arms.

I lowered my gaze until my forehead touched the polished floor. "My lord..." The words felt painfully inadequate. "I'm sorry." Silence answered me. "I failed." My fingers dug helplessly against the wooden floor. "I couldn't protect Lady Euphyllia."

The confession tore itself from somewhere deep inside my chest.

"I should have realized. I should have seen that she no longer wished to live. I never should have left her alone."

Every sentence grew quieter than the last.

"I failed my oath. I failed the House of Caedex." My voice broke. "I failed her..."

The room fell silent once more. I remained bowed, unable to gather the courage to lift my head. Then, something warm rested gently upon my hair.

My breath caught.

Lord Esteban's hand trembled as it remained there, not in reprimand, but in comfort. "Aurelian."

I could not answer.

"I know... I know how much you loved my daughter."

Everything inside me stopped as my head lifted instinctively.

Lord Esteban's own tears continued falling freely, yet his gaze remained impossibly gentle as he looked at me. "I've always known."

I stared at him in disbelief. Did he say what? He knew?

"You thought an old man couldn't see it." A faint, sorrowful smile crossed his lips. "But I watched the two of you grow together. I saw the way your eyes searched for her the moment she left a room. The way you stood behind her without ever asking for recognition. The way you celebrated every smile she gave another man..." His smile faltered. "...while quietly mourning the fact that it would never be given to you."

Fresh tears blurred my vision. "My lord..." I couldn't believe this... I thought I hid it well to others, it turned out... he knew my feelings to his daughter, after all.

"I also saw what you never allowed yourself to do." His gaze lowered toward his daughter. "You never crossed the line. You never confessed. You never allowed your feelings to become a burden she had to carry." His hand tightened gently upon my shoulder. "You remained her knight until the very end."

The tears I had fought so desperately to contain finally escaped. "I wasn't enough." The words came broken. "If I had stayed... If I had ignored the Alpha... If I had—"

"No." Lord Esteban interrupted me with surprising firmness. He slowly shook his head. "You could not save someone who had already surrendered her heart." He looked back at Lady Euphyllia. "I chose the wrong man." His voice trembled once more. "I believed the Moon Goddess had blessed my daughter with the mate she deserved." His eyes closed briefly. "I was wrong."

When they opened again, they settled upon me.

"The man who truly cherished her..." His voice cracked. "...stood beside her all along."

Neither of us spoke after that. Words no longer held any meaning. Only grief remained.

After a long while, Lord Esteban reached for my hand and placed it gently over Lady Euphyllia's. Her fingers were cold. Painfully cold. "I entrusted her to you when you were still a boy." His weary gaze met mine. "And not once... did you ever betray that trust."

I bowed my head, unable to stop the sob that escaped me.

Lord Esteban simply watched me cry. He did not tell me to be strong. He did not tell me to stop. He allowed me to mourn the woman we had both loved in different ways.

When my breathing finally steadied, his expression changed. The grief remained.

But beneath it, something resolute quietly emerged.

"My daughter deserves justice." His voice was calm. "So do the countless innocent lives this war has consumed." He squeezed my shoulder once before withdrawing his hand. "I am an old man, Aurelian. My journey ends with hers." His gaze drifted toward the window where dawn had fully broken. "But yours..." He looked back at me. "...does not."

I lowered my eyes toward Lady Euphyllia once more. Slowly, I lifted her hand and pressed it against my forehead. "My lady... I couldn't save you." My fingers curled around hers one final time. "But I swear upon the life you entrusted to me..." I slowly raised my head. "...those who stole your future, will never know peace again."

Night swallowed the territory long before my work had ended. I no longer remembered how many doors I had forced open nor how many men had begged for mercy before the end.

The council chamber had been my first destination. Every elder who had raised a hand in approval. Every noble who had remained silent while Lady Euphyllia's fate was decided. Every voice that had reduced Esteban's little moon into nothing more than a bargaining piece.

I remembered every one of them.

One by one...

I found them.

One by one...

They died.

Not quickly.

Quick deaths belonged to honorable warriors. None of them had earned that privilege. Each scream echoed through the silent streets until the moon itself seemed to mourn with me.

I listened to none of them.

There had been a time when such cries would have disturbed me. A knight existed to protect life. Not to take it. But that knight had remained beside the seashore with Lady Euphyllia.

What continued walking through the pack tonight was merely the empty shell he had left behind.

Blood soaked every inch of my clothing. Some belonged to my enemies. Most of it did.

Some belonged to me. I no longer knew where one ended and the other began nor did I care.

My sword dragged quietly across the stone pathway as I made my way toward the only destination that still remained.

The Anderson Residence. Its towering gates stood wide beneath the moonlight, illuminated by dozens of torches hastily gathered after news of the council's massacre had spread throughout the pack.

Warriors already waited for me. Dozens of them. Perhaps more. Every one of them wore the crest of Graveclaw proudly upon their armor.

Once, I would have stood among them.

Tonight, they merely stood between me and the man I had come to see.

I lifted my gaze. There he was.

Farley Anderson.

He stood upon the second-floor balcony overlooking the courtyard, dressed not in ceremonial robes, but in armor.

Even from where I stood, I could see the sword resting at his side. He had expected me.

The wind carried the scent of blood toward him.

Mine.

Theirs.

Everyone's.

For a long while, neither of us spoke. The warriors shifted uneasily, their grips tightening around their weapons as silence settled over the residence.

Farley's gaze slowly traveled across my blood-covered figure before returning to my face. There was no surprise in his expression. Only exhaustion and something colder. "So..." His voice carried effortlessly through the courtyard. "You've finally come."

I said nothing.

He leaned one hand against the stone railing. "I wondered how many it would take before you reached me." His eyes briefly lowered toward the blood dripping steadily from the edge of my sword. "It seems..." A bitter smile ghosted across his lips. "...the council never stood a chance."

"They didn't." My own voice sounded unfamiliar. It was flat and empty.  Even I scarcely recognized it.

Farley's eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly. "You've become a murderer."

The words should have angered me. Instead, they passed through me without leaving so much as a ripple.

"I became one..." I slowly lifted my gaze until it met his. "...the moment you murdered her."

The courtyard fell deathly silent. Several warriors exchanged uneasy glances.

Farley's jaw tightened. For the briefest moment, regret flickered within his eyes. Then, it disappeared. "My decision protected this Pack." His voice remained calm. "It ended a war before thousands more died."

I looked at him, searching for the man Lady Euphyllia had loved and searching for the Alpha who had once smiled whenever she entered a room.

He was gone.

Standing before me now was only the Alpha. Not her mate or the man who had promised to protect her. Only a ruler who had measured one life against many and convinced himself the answer was justice.

"My Euphyllia..." I uttered quietly. "So that's how little her life weighed."

Farley looked away for only a heartbeat before meeting my eyes again. "You wouldn't understand."

"No." I nodded once. "I don't. And I never will." My grip tightened around my sword. "I came here for one thing." The blade slowly rose until its bloodstained tip pointed directly toward him. "Your head."

The words carried no rage and hatred.

Only certainty.

"You won't know peace." My gaze never wavered. "Not while I still breathe."

Farley released a quiet, humorless laugh. "You truly think you'll leave this place alive?" He gestured toward the warriors surrounding me. "You trained many of them yourself. They know your every movement. They're among the finest warriors this pack has produced." His expression hardened. "You'll die here, Aurelian."

Perhaps, he expected hesitation. Perhaps, he expected fear.

Instead, I merely tilted my head. The movement was slow. Almost curious. My sword lowered until its tip scraped quietly against the stone once more. The corners of my lips lifted into the faintest smile.

Not one born from amusement nor satisfaction.

It was the empty smile of a man who had already buried everything worth living for.

"I know."

Farley's brows drew together.

"I never intended to survive anyway."

Silence swallowed the courtyard. I watched understanding slowly settle across his face. Only then did I take my first step forward. The sound of steel scraping across stone echoed beneath the moonlight.

"Watch me."

The warriors came all at once. Steel flashed beneath the full moon as they surrounded me from every direction, their synchronized movements revealing years of disciplined training. I recognized nearly every face hidden beneath their helmets. Some had once trained beside me. Others had sparred with me countless times within the training grounds. A few had even called me brother.

Tonight, none of that remained.

The first blade descended. I caught it with my own before driving my sword through its owner's chest without the slightest hesitation. Warm blood splashed across my face, yet my grip never faltered as another warrior rushed from behind. I twisted just enough for his strike to graze my shoulder before my elbow crashed against his jaw, sending him stumbling backward.

Another came.

Then another.

And another.

There was no room left to think.

Only to move.

Only to kill.

The moon hung high above the battlefield, bathing the courtyard in its pale silver glow. Every werewolf drew strength from the full moon, yet, somehow... mine refused to wane. Every wound that should have slowed me closed almost as quickly as it was made. My limbs no longer obeyed exhaustion. They continued moving as though another force had silently taken hold of them.

Whether it was the blessing of the Moon Goddess or merely the desperation of a broken man, I neither knew nor cared.

My sword, already coated with wolfsbane before I arrived, carved through one warrior after another. Those fortunate enough to survive the first strike found themselves unable to heal, the poison spreading relentlessly through their veins until they collapsed beneath their own screams.

Still, they kept coming.

Eventually, my blade lodged itself too deeply within a fallen warrior's armor. I released it without a second thought. My bones shattered. Fur erupted across my skin.

The familiar agony of shifting barely registered before four paws struck the blood-soaked ground. A howl tore through the night.

It was neither victorious nor furious. It was grief given sound.

I lunged.

Claws ripped through steel where swords had failed. Fangs found exposed throats. Warriors who had once proudly carried the crest of Graveclaw fell one after another beneath the beast I had become.

I no longer recognized the blood staining my fur nor the bodies gathering beneath my paws. I felt nothing.

Nothing except... her.

Or rather... her absence.

If only I could hear her voice again. Just once.

"Aurelian, you're worrying too much."

Her playful laughter.

The way she would pout whenever Lord Esteban refused one of her unreasonable requests.

The way she would smile triumphantly after convincing me to accompany another one of her harmless adventures.

Those memories echoed inside my mind so vividly that, for a fleeting moment, I almost believed she stood somewhere nearby.

I almost stopped.

Almost turned.

Almost searched for her.

But... silence answered me. She was gone. No voice remained to call me back. No gentle hand would tug at my sleeve and remind me that this wasn't who I was.

The only thing left waiting for me... was the life beyond this one.

One final warrior collapsed. The courtyard fell deathly still. Only one man remained standing.

Farley Anderson.

His armor was stained with dust rather than blood, untouched by the battle unfolding before him. Yet the moment our eyes met, I saw it.

For the first time... fear.

He masked it quickly beneath the same cold expression he had worn ever since condemning Lady Euphyllia. "You've gone mad," he said, tightening his grip around his sword. "Is this what she would have wanted?"

I did not answer. "There was no other choice," I said with an empty tone. "The pack needed peace."

His brows slowly drew together. "I did what an Alpha had to do."

I walked toward him. Each footfall echoed through the blood-soaked courtyard.

He continued speaking, trying to justify himself. Trying to provoke me. Trying to reach whatever reason still remained inside the man he had once known.

I heard none of it.

Grief had consumed every corner of my soul. The only voice I could hear was the one I would never hear again. The only face I could see belonged to the woman waiting beyond death.

Farley attacked first.

Our swords collided. His movements remained sharp and measured. Everything expected of an Alpha. Mine held no elegance anymore. Every strike carried years of restrained love, helplessness, regret, and mourning.

He blocked one attack only for another to descend before he could recover.

Steel rang endlessly beneath the moonlight. Farley staggered backward. I followed. He parried. I struck again.

Again and again.

I no longer knew how many times my blade met his. I only knew I could not stop.

Not until he understood. Not until he felt even the smallest fraction of the pain he had condemned Euphyllia to endure.

Finally, his sword slipped from his grasp. It clattered uselessly against the stones. Before he could reach for it, I drove my shoulder into him, sending him crashing onto his back.

The tip of my blade settled against his throat.

For a long moment, neither of us spoke. Then, I smiled. It was hollow and empty. A smile devoid of triumph.

"You..." My voice emerged hoarse from disuse. "...never deserved to become her mate."

Farley's breathing grew uneven. "I loved—"

"No." The single word silenced him. "You loved your title. You loved your pack. You loved your throne." My grip tightened around the hilt. "But you never loved Euphyllia."

The blade descended. Not swiftly or mercifully. Every wound I dealt was deliberate.

Whenever his werewolf instincts attempted to mend his body, the wolfsbane denied him that mercy, forcing him to remain conscious beneath the consequences of his own choices.

I wanted him to understand. Not my hatred. My grief. Only when the light finally disappeared from his eyes did I lower my sword.

There was no satisfaction waiting for me.

No relief.

No victory.

Only emptiness.

Without another glance behind me, I turned away from the Anderson estate. My feet carried me through roads now stained with the blood of those who had stolen Lady Euphyllia's future.

I never returned to House Caedex.

I couldn't.

It was not because I feared facing Lord Esteban, but because every corner of that estate reminded me of a woman whose laughter would never again echo through its halls.

Instead, I walked toward the only place where I still wished to draw my final breath.

The manor beside the lake. The home she had once helped me design with such innocent excitement. The curtains she had chosen. The flowers she insisted should bloom beneath the windows. The daybed where she had laughed after claiming I had terrible taste in furniture.

Everything remained exactly as she had imagined it.

Except... her.

The moment I stepped inside, the sword slipped from my fingers before I collapsed onto my knees.

For a long while, I remained there in silence. Then, the grief I had buried beneath countless corpses finally broke free.

A howl erupted from somewhere deep within my soul, reverberating throughout the empty manor until even the still waters outside seemed to mourn with me.

I lowered my head. "Moon Goddess..." My voice trembled. "I failed." Fresh tears struck the wooden floor beneath me. "I was too weak. I arrived too late. I couldn't protect the one person You entrusted to my care."

Slowly, I reached for the vial of wolfsbane resting within my satchel. With shaking hands, I uncorked it and poured the poison across the length of my blade. The liquid glistened beneath the moonlight.

"I ask for nothing in this life. I have already lost everything." My fingers tightened around the sword. "But if another life awaits beyond this one..." I lifted his tear-filled eyes toward the moon visible through the open balcony. "Please... let me find her again. This time, before despair reaches her... before betrayal steals her smile... before she believes she is alone." I sobbed.  "I'll pay any price. My memories. My name. My future. My soul. I'll surrender all of it. So long as..." My voice broke completely. "...You allow me to protect her again."

"I promise..." A bittersweet smile trembled across my lips. "I'll become someone better for her."

Someone worthy of standing beside her. Someone who would never arrive too late again.

The sword slowly rose. Its poisoned tip came to rest against my chest.

"I beg You, grant me one more lifetime..." I closed my eyes.  "And I'll spend every breath proving that losing her... was the greatest failure of my existence."