Chapter 189: Special Chapter 8: Where Everything Began

Death was not the end. It never was.

When darkness finally swallowed my consciousness within the lake manor, I expected to awaken beside Lady Euphyllia in whatever world awaited beyond mortal life.

Instead, I opened my eyes beneath another sky.

Another family. Another name. Another life.

I remembered nothing. Not the lake manor. Not House Caedex. Not the promise I had whispered beneath the moon.

Only an unfamiliar emptiness lingered inside my heart, as though something precious had been taken from me before I had even learned its name.

Years passed.

Then, she appeared again. It wasn't the same face, same family, or even the same kingdom.

Yet, she was still Euphyllia.

Always Euphyllia.

The moment I heard that name, something inside me stirred with an indescribable familiarity. I could never explain why my eyes sought her within every crowded room, nor why my heart quieted whenever she smiled.

I simply knew.

She was important.

Every lifetime unfolded much the same. She would meet another man.

Another mate. Another promise.

I would remain somewhere in the background. Sometimes I was her knight. Sometimes a soldier. Sometimes a scholar serving the royal court. Sometimes nothing more than a passing traveler fortunate enough to cross paths with her.

I bore many names throughout those centuries.

Cassian.

Rowan.

Lucien.

Names that belonged to men history had long since forgotten. Only one thing remained unchanged. My face. The Moon Goddess had taken my memories, but She had never changed the face that searched endlessly for the same woman.

Lady Euphyllia, however, wore a different face in every lifetime. She has different eyes, different hair, and different voices. Only her name remained untouched, as though fate itself refused to let the world forget who she truly was.

At first, I believed those encounters to be coincidences until the day she died.

That was always when it happened.

The memories returned. They shattered through my mind all at once.

The lake manor. Lord Esteban. The cliff. My promise. Her smile.

Everything.

By then, it was already too late. I remembered only after losing her. Every. Single. Time.

I would watch another Euphyllia place her trust in another man. I would watch another mate swear he would protect her. Then, one by one, they all failed.

Farley traded her life for peace.

Darian abandoned her when ambition outweighed love.

Cedric stripped away her dignity before the entire Pack.

Each betrayal looked different. Yet every ending remained the same. And every time she died, I remembered.

The curse became cruelly familiar.

I buried another Euphyllia, destroyed another life built without her, and then ended my own.

Again.

And again.

And again.

Centuries passed in that endless cycle until grief itself became something I no longer questioned.

It simply existed just as breathing did.

Then, the Moon Goddess granted me another life.

Another name.

Lucretius.

I still remember the first time I saw her. It wasn't because my memories had already returned. But because something inside me refused to let her pass unnoticed.

It was a tavern where she sat quietly in one corner, a cup untouched between trembling hands. She looked exhausted and broken, trying far too hard to convince herself she was neither.

By then, I already knew who she was.

Euphyllia Ivara Ruinart.

Captain Redmund Franciosa's fated mate. My nephew's mate.

I had watched Redmund's progress for years, believing one day he would inherit everything I had spent my life protecting. He was talented, capable, and respected. Yet, each passing year left me with the same disappointing conclusion.

He lacked judgment. He lacked discipline.

Most dangerously, he lacked the ability to cherish what truly mattered.

That night, I approached her without fully understanding why. Perhaps it was curiosity. Perhaps fate had already begun weaving threads neither of us could yet perceive.

Or perhaps... some forgotten part of my soul simply recognized hers.

I still remember the way our conversation unfolded. The way she tried to maintain her composure despite the hurt hidden behind her smile. I remembered offering her a single night, not because I intended cruelty or I wished to steal another man's mate. But because, for reasons I could not explain, I wanted to remain beside her just a little longer.

I remembered discovering that I had become her first.

I remembered waking the following morning expecting to forget the encounter like countless others before it.

Instead, I carried her scent with me everywhere.

No perfume. No embrace. No other woman ever replaced it.

Night after night, I sought distraction where I always had and found myself searching every unfamiliar face for silver-blue eyes that weren't there.

Eventually, I stopped trying.

Women no longer interest me. Conversations felt hollow. Everything did.

Everything except her.

When Redmund began disappointing me as both a captain and a mate, I quietly investigated the woman standing beside him. That was when I learned something unexpectedly trivial.

Euphyllia loved chrysanthemums.

From then onward, every time Redmund neglected her... every time he wounded her with careless words... every time I witnessed another crack forming within the smile she tried so desperately to preserve... a chrysanthemum quietly found its way to her.

Along with a handwritten note.

Nothing extravagant. Nothing that revealed my identity.

Only small reminders that somewhere... someone saw her.

I still remembered watching from a distance as she stared at the flowers in confusion, searching every passing face with knitted brows, wondering who the mysterious sender could possibly be.

She never once looked toward me. I never expected her to. I was content simply watching her smile.

Everything changed the day Redmund rejected her. I remembered the sound of her body collapsing against mine on that night. The emptiness in her eyes. The silence that followed all the way back to her chambers after I carried her there.

Something inside me broke that night.

The notes continued. The flowers continued.

Until eventually, I let her discover the truth. That I had been the one leaving them all along.

After that, the distance between us gradually disappeared. When I proposed marriage to her, it was meant to be nothing more than a contract. An agreement built upon mutual benefit.

She would gain the means to seek vengeance against those who had wronged her. I would gain a capable wife whose intelligence I had admired long before realizing I admired everything else about her as well.

Neither of us expected love.

Then, the memories returned.

In the royal palace. The emergency council meeting. Blood. Desperation. The unmistakable scent of death lingering around my wife.

It happened again.

Exactly as it always had.

By the time I remembered every lifetime, Euphyllia was already slipping away. I reached her too late. Again. I held her while life slowly abandoned her body. Again. I watched the woman I loved disappear before my eyes. Again.

The days that followed became little more than empty fragments until one afternoon. A package arrived. The servants informed me that it had been commissioned a few weeks earlier.

My hands shook as I loosened the ribbon. Inside lay a midnight-blue coat, perfectly tailored and in the exact shade I’d always loved. Resting neatly on top was a small handwritten note.

I recognized the handwriting instantly.

Hubby,

I wasn't sure what to give you as your wife. You already seem to have everything. So, I thought perhaps I could give you something made only for you.  I hope you'll like it.

The paper slipped from my fingers.

For a long while, I simply stared. Then, I gathered the coat into my arms. I buried my face against the fabric, closing my eyes as desperately as I searched for even the faintest trace of her scent.

Lavender. Tea. Chrysanthemums.

Anything.

Nothing remained. Only the clean scent of untouched cloth.

Only then did I finally understand.

For the first time in countless lifetimes, I had not merely lost the woman I loved.

I had lost... my wife.

The days that followed blurred into one another until I no longer knew how much time had passed. Morning arrived. Night returned. Then morning again. Nothing changed.

The manor remained just as silent as the day I carried my wife home for the last time. I could no longer bear walking through its halls. Every room reminded me of her, especially our chamber where we made love since the day we got married.

The dining room reminded me of the breakfasts she insisted we share together and how we teased one another. The study reminded me of the reports she would quietly steal from my hands, insisting that a husband deserved to rest every once in a while.

Even the garden had become unbearable. The chrysanthemums continued blooming beneath the windows exactly as she had wanted, blissfully unaware that the woman who loved them would never see them again.

Eventually, I stopped leaving my chamber altogether. Sleep became an enemy. Every time I closed my eyes, I returned to that sea.

To her lifeless body. To my trembling hands desperately trying to bring her back. To the unbearable silence that answered every plea.

It was always the same. The cycle never changed.

I found her. I loved her. I failed her.

She died before my eyes. Only then did my memories return, and I remember every promise I had been too late to keep.

Again.

Over and over.

I could no longer bear counting how many lives had ended that way. How many times I had buried the woman I loved? How many times had I ended my own life afterward, praying that perhaps the next lifetime would finally be different?

Yet, every rebirth demanded the same cruel price.

My memories.

Everything I had learned. Every investigation. Every clue. Every warning I could have given her.

Gone.

Reduced to nothing.

Then, I would begin again as another man carrying another name, unknowingly walking toward the same ending fate had already written for us.

A bitter smile found its way to my lips. How cruel. Even death refused to free me. At last, I understood what truly frightened me.

It was no longer dying.

I had done that enough times centuries ago to stop fearing it.

It was forgetting her. Forgetting the promises I had made. Forgetting why my heart searched endlessly for a woman I could never remember until it was already too late.

Slowly, I got up from the daybed Euphyllia had chosen for me in her first life at the lake manor, the same place where I had repurchased the estate I built years ago. My feet carried me somewhere my mind had already chosen long before I acknowledged it.

The cliffs.

The very same cliffs where the first Euphyllia had surrendered herself to the sea.

The wind greeted me the moment I arrived, cold and familiar against my face. Nothing here had changed. Not the restless waves crashing endlessly against the rocks below. Not the weathered stones beneath my boots. Not even the lonely silence that had lingered here ever since the day Aurelian failed to save the woman he loved.

I walked until only a single step separated me from the edge as a bitter laugh escaped from my lips.

"So this..." I lowered my gaze toward the endless sea. "...is where everything began."

Perhaps, it was only fitting that everything should end here as well.

If I died now, I would lose everything again.

Every memory. Every lifetime. Every trace of Euphyllia.

The thought should have frightened me. Instead, it brought an odd sense of peace.

Maybe... Just maybe... The next life would finally be different.

Maybe I would remember sooner. Maybe I would reach her before despair did.

Maybe... I would not fail her again.

I slowly closed my eyes. "My lady..." The wind carried my voice toward the sea. "Forgive me. I couldn't protect you. I couldn't save our pup. And I couldn't keep my promise." I let out a heavy exhale. "If there truly is another lifetime waiting beyond this one..." A faint smile trembled across my face. "...then wait for me. I'll find you again. This time, I'll do better."

My foot lifted from the ground. There was no hesitation. No fear.

Only acceptance.

Then, without another thought, I stepped forward. The sensation of weightlessness lasted only a heartbeat. But something slammed violently into my side.

The impact sent both of us rolling across the uneven ground, away from the cliff's edge. My back struck the earth hard enough to drive the breath from my lungs before another weight pinned me firmly beneath it.

For several heartbeats, all I heard was the pounding of my own pulse.

"Your Majesty...?"

Recognition finally settled.

Alpha King Claudian remained above me, one hand still gripping the front of my coat as though afraid I might throw myself over the cliff again the moment he let go. His breathing came in measured but heavier breaths than usual, a rare sign that he had truly exerted himself to reach me in time.

Loose strands of dark hair had escaped his usually immaculate appearance, and dust clung to the sleeves of his royal attire. He looked at me for a long moment. Then, without the slightest change in expression, he spoke.

"You've truly lost your mind, General Lucretius."

Before I could answer, another familiar feminine voice floated toward us. "Phew!"

Both of us instinctively turned.

It was Luna Queen Rachelle who had stopped several paces away, bending forward with both hands resting upon her knees as she struggled to catch her breath. "We made it in time, love!" She straightened with an exaggerated sigh of relief before dramatically wiping imaginary sweat from her forehead. "I seriously thought we'd have to jump after him."

Alpha King Claudian looked at her and seemed like about to drag his hand on his face. "You weren't, love."

"I was emotionally prepared."

"You can't swim, love." He playfully arched his eyebrow.

"I know," she answered so matter-of-factly that, under any other circumstance, I might have believed she was serious. She smiled sheepishly. "But I had faith."

Alpha King Claudian closed his eyes for a brief moment before dragging a weary hand down his face. "Mother... help me. Your daughter..."

"I was only trying to lighten the mood," Rachelle muttered defensively and even pouted.

"There wasn't one."

"I noticed."

The playful exchange ended almost as quickly as it had begun. Luna Queen Rachelle's smile slowly faded as her gaze returned to me. This time, she truly looked at me and at the blood staining my clothes. At the emptiness that had long since settled within my eyes. At the cliff, only a few steps behind me.

The color gradually drained from her face.

The relief that had filled her moments ago quietly disappeared, replaced by something far heavier.

Understanding.

"General." Her voice had softened considerably. "You..." She swallowed. "...You really intended to jump."

It wasn't a question. Only then did silence reclaim the cliffs. Even the wind seemed to mourn alongside us.

I remained seated upon the cold earth, my breathing still uneven from the impact. For a long moment, none of us spoke. The wind drifted quietly between us, carrying the scent of the sea below.

I finally lifted my gaze toward them. "Why?" My voice sounded hoarse. "Why are the two of you here?"

Luna Queen Rachelle exchanged a brief glance with Alpha King Claudian before she reached down, offering him a hand. "My heroic Alpha King," she teased lightly. "Up you go."

Alpha King Claudian accepted it without complaint, allowing her to pull him to his feet before kissing the back of her hand, making her smile. Both of them. Then, he brushed the dust from his robes with practiced composure.

Only then did she crouch before me. She rested one elbow upon her knee before lazily propping her cheek against her palm, her head tilting slightly as though we were discussing nothing more serious than tomorrow's weather. "We're here..." The corners of her lips lifted mischievously. "...to stop you from throwing yourself into another endless reincarnation cycle, old man."

A muscle twitched beneath my eye.

Even after ascending the throne... Even after becoming Luna Queen... She still insisted on calling me that.

This brat... I swear to the Moon Goddess... She never changed.

Under any other circumstance, I might have corrected her. Today, I no longer possessed the energy. Instead, my brows slowly knitted together. "What?" The single word barely escaped my lips. "How..." A chill crept beneath my skin. "...How do you know about that?"

The amusement faded from Luna Queen Rachelle's expression.

Behind me, Alpha King Claudian quietly stepped closer before lowering himself onto the grass beside me. He said nothing at first. Only one steady hand was placed upon my shoulder.

The gesture carried no force. No command. Only reassurance.

His thumb gave my shoulder a gentle pat. "You were about to jump." His calm voice broke the silence. "The least you can do..." A faint smile ghosted across his usually stoic features. "...is hear us out first."

My lips parted slightly.

Alpha King Claudian turned his head toward his wife. "Love." He lifted one hand in her direction with effortless familiarity. "The floor is yours."

Luna Queen Rachelle let out a bright giggle. "I've always wanted you to say that."

Claude merely sighed. "I know."

She clasped both hands together happily before turning back to me. "The reason we know..." she paused deliberately. "...is because Mother told us."

I frowned. "Mother?"

"Mm-hmm." She nodded enthusiastically. "My mother." Then, she pointed at him. "His mother-in-law." She kept nodding.

That made me more confused. "I beg your pardon?"

"The Moon Goddess," she answered it so casually that, for a moment, I genuinely believed I had misheard her.

"The..." I stared at her. "...Moon Goddess?" I parroted. I even looked up at the moon.

"Mhmm." She smiled. "The very one." Before I could gather enough thoughts to respond, she continued almost proudly, "My deity name is Ragriel." She tapped her own chest with one finger. "Goddess of Mate Bond."

The words struck harder than Alpha King Claudian's tackle ever had. My mind struggled to follow.

Deity... Moon Goddess... Ragriel...

None of it made sense.

Before I could voice another question, Luna Queen Rachelle leaned forward. Then, she reached out. The tip of her finger landed gently against the center of my chest. "And you..." Her playful smile softened into something unexpectedly gentle. "...Mother specifically told us to stop you."

I remained motionless.

"We're going to help you." She smiled. "So that you never have to begin from nothing again. So that the next time you meet her..." Her finger tapped lightly against my chest. "...you'll still remember."

My heartbeat abruptly stopped. "Her?"

Luna Queen Rachelle nodded. "My sister."

I stared blankly. "Your sister?" She had a sister? Didn't she only have an adoptive brother?

"Elixane," she spoke the name with unmistakable affection.

The familiar name echoed inside my mind. "Elixane...?" I repeated almost unconsciously and caught my breath immediately upon remembering it.

A slow smile spread across her lips. "You know her by another name." She tilted her head. "Euphyllia."

Everything around me seemed to fall silent.

Luna Queen Rachelle watched my expression carefully before quietly adding, "Mother has many daughters." She tapped her chin. "My sister..." Her smile became impossibly warm. "...has a mundane name, Euphyllia, and a deity name, Elixane, before Mother descended her into the mortal realm along with her father."

I could neither move nor speak. The world I thought I understood had been overturned within the span of only a few breaths.

Alpha King Claudian's hand remained firmly upon my shoulder as if he already knew that nothing I had believed about fate would ever be the same again.