Chapter Forty-Eight: Loneliness is a Lonely Feeling-2

“That’s… How did you know I was going to say that?” She questioned. “Because it’s seems that I am apparently lying to everybody.” I said, sighing. “Look, I know I lied to you. But, please can we do this in the morning or something? Because I am honestly in no mood.” My mom didn’t even bother to argue with me as she turned the other way. I was glad that she didn’t try to pressure me into saying something. She wasn’t like other people, I thought I knew. * “You really shouldn’t go in there, Holly. She isn’t in the best state at the moment.” I heard Thomas say, as my door opened. “It’s okay. I got this, I think I need to talk some sense into her.” I heard Holly reply, as I heard footsteps retreating as the door softly closed. “Alice?” Holly called out, softly to me. I just buried my head further deeper into my pillow. It has been days since I have left my room. All I have been doing was laying on my bed and sobbing into my teddy bears. Melinda would usually bring some food up to my room and I was too depressed to watch the news knowing that I was on it. I was probably making headlines around the world. ‘The President’s Daughter… Gets arrested?’ Holly began to approach closer to my bed, when she spoke up. “Oh God… What died in here?” She said, as I heard her gagging. “Well, if you must know it was my life.” I said, sarcastically sitting up on my bed to face my cousin. She sat at the edge of my bed, probably didn’t want to get any closer to me because I probably reeked worse than Thomas after taco night. “How are you feeling?” She questioned, looking genuinely concerned. I shrugged, “Do you really want to know?” “I asked, didn’t I?” “Well, I am feeling lonely.” I muttered, smoothing my hair over because it was too tangled to run my fingers through it. “I would hug you and say I am there for you. But, you kind of reek, so… I am just going to say, I am there for you, Ali.” I rolled my eyes, changing the topic. “How’s school?” She raised one eyebrow at me, “Do you really want to know?” “I asked, didn’t I?” I said, mimicking her. “Well, I am not going to lie. It has been hectic. Everybody has been gossiping about you, there are some pap’s still lingering around outside of the school in case you know, you show up.” “They never took an interest in me before, so why now?” “Well, you are the daughter of the President of the United States and you got arrested. Correct me if I am wrong, but don’t you think that sound news worthy to you?” “I don’t even know what news is worthy anymore! I don’t know what is up or what is down… like I am just so annoyed at the world.” I said, grabbing my pillow and bringing it up to my face. Holly didn’t say anything for a couple of moments, probably due to me groaning in annoyance into my pillow. But, when she did say something… it was probably the last thing I wanted to hear. “Gavin came back to school today.” “Did you talk to him?” “No…” Holly said, squinting her eyes, “How do I put this..? Well, he’s been kind of avoiding me lately.” “Why?” “I am not too sure, but I am pretty sure it has something to do with you.” I sighed, deeply. “I am not going to lie though, I am pretty glad that he has been avoiding me.” “Why do you say that?” I asked, a little hesitant to know the answer. “Gavin’s kind of looking a little roughed up around the edges…” She said, trying to figure out the right words to say. “How roughed up?” “Like he has been to and from hell twice and met the devil on his way that he got the living daylights beaten out of him.” Holly said, truthfully. I placed my hands on my face, “This is all my fault.” “What did exactly happen between you two?” Holly questioned. “We had a huge this huge blow out, he said some things. I said some things.” I rested my head on my hand. “Did you know that the only reason that he even began talking to me was for a stupid bet? Like I knew there had to be a reason why Ben tried to have warned me by kissing me, like why else would he do it?” “Ben kissed you?” Holly exclaimed. My eyes widened as I realized what I had said. Holly looked at me, as she waited for an answer. The word no, was on the tip of my tongue. But, lying was what had brought me into this mess in the first place and it wasn’t going to get me out. I nodded my head, “Yeah. Ben kissed me.” “When?” Holly asked, bitterly as a hurt expression flashed through her eyes. I swallowed the spit that was indulged in my throat, “When we went off to Europe for Spring Break. He ended up in the hospital after he was shot and he confessed he had feelings for me and then he kissed me.” “What kind of feelings?” Holly asked, her voice cracking. “He said, he loved me.” Holly got up from my bed as she turned around. I heard her trying to mask up her sniffles, as if she wasn’t crying. “Holls.” I said, getting up from my bed and walking over to her. She flinched at my touch, “You had over a month to tell me you kissed the boy I loved. And you didn’t, what kind of cousin does that?” She asked, whipping around to look at me in the eyes. I stayed silent, I was already too numb to say anything. “If this is what Gavin did to you.” She said, gesturing at me up and down. “I have never been so happy in my entire life because Ali, you deserve to feel this way. Go rot in hell Alice, because that is where scumbag like you belong.” Holly spat, at me, before she opened the door of my room before running out. All I could do was stare at her retreating body as she turned the hall. Just when I thought I had already cried all tears out… a few more just had to slip out. I wrapped my arms around my body as I walked towards my bed. Is this what loneliness felt like? Because it was a pretty damn lonely feeling. *****